My wife has an old adage "One TS can pass, two or more together forget it". While it was a pretty good assessment back in the 70's there is still quite a bit of truth to it I think, especially if you are with someone who does not easily pass. Being able to pass has been a supremely important point for me. I endured a lifetime of abuse as a kid for many reasons, none having to do with being trans. The feeling that I could never pass led to the decision to do the best I could as a guy. It had to better then another 60 years of the same or worse abuse for being "different"
Now, time out for an empathy reminder. She may be fully aware how she does not, but wants to get out, does not have he self confidence, and admires how you can pass, looks up to you, and wants to become more like you.A heavy burden to live up to, I know. I won't try to read in or assume any reasons behind her looks or voice. We live in a very large tent. My wife had TS room mates. She spent a lot of emotional energy on helping them. But that is her personality type. Still, she gave up on a few. Just because she is a room mate, a live in therapist and personal stylist is not part of the deal.
So far my times out with other TSs have been uneventful. I always feared I would be cause for trouble being so tall and litle faith in my abilities. I know I would feel embarrassed being clocked in a situation where, as a group, we all were. I am far from a militant, in your face, person. The times I've been in a group situation with a dear friend who was nervous or afraid to go into some place like a restaurant it just brought out the "Mother Grizzly" in me and the others. I'd like to think that even if she wasn't able to pass well, I would have felt the same, even if it was just the two of us.
