Do American's Stare?

[K Style Addiction]

I don't know if i'm going to get any gruff from this, i live in Singapore where being different means you get the "I hate you and everyone that looks like you" as the stereotypes go "Asian Stare". Which i get a lot to the point i don't want to go out of the house at all, next year (which has nothing to do with this) i'm moving to San Francisco, i just want to know, are Americans the same, do they stare are people a lot or do they mind their business, as a trans girl who is 5'11 i am very conscious of myself sadly and some help would be nice , thanks.

[Joeyboo~ :3]

Everyone stares, Donna.
I'm sure you do it too, we all have different reasons for doing it though.
I doubt anyone really thinks you'redisgusting, you pass 100%.

SF will be a lot of a more friendly place though.

[Kadri]

I can only speak from my own experience, not with Americans but with Chinese (I am an angmoh - a whitey).

I seem to pass with Chinese people almost without exception. When I speak in Mandarin to them, they will often ask why I don't go to China to work, or why don't I teach English in a school there. I think if they knew my past they would not be so keen to give this advice.

I'm guessing from your beautiful photograph that you are Singaporean Indian. Consider this: What might make your facial features look masculine to Singaporeans will probably make you just look like a Singaporean Indian to most people in the US. Just as the things that might give me away as a transwoman to angmohs in Australia, Chinese will just process as being typical of a western woman's features.

Another thing to think about if you have been walking around Singapore at a height of 5'11, you will have been much taller than your average Singaporean woman of any ethnic group, but in SF, not so much. Best of luck xx

[K Style Addiction]

I doubt anyone really thinks you'redisgusting, you pass 100%.

SF will be a lot of a more friendly place though.

in SF, not so much

That's comforting

I'm guessing from your beautiful photograph that you are Singaporean Indian

Actually i'm mixed.

[peky]

It is my impression that most American women do not make eye contact -specially with men- unless they are engaging the person in conversation. American women smile to other women -even strangers- it is kind of an acknowledgement.
American men on the the hand always make a brief eye contact with other men, sort of acknowledgement.

So, as an American woman, I smile to tother women, and seldom make eye contact with men. Where I live, northern Virginia, I get the stares on occasion, if they come from men I think it is because they are admiring me, if they come from women I think the "bitches" are jealous 

At 5 10 1/2 I have no problem with my height, plenty of taller girls around.

Welcome to the USA

[K Style Addiction]

So i should smile at women in the us?

[Shang]

If you meet someone's eyes, you should smile.  It's just polite and is generally welcome.  Most people will give some sort of smile back in acknowledgement. 

I've noticed, and my parents have noticed, that Americans do like to stare and do like to look at people more than some other countries.  It's one thing that endears my parents to England;  most people they've met in England mind their own business and kind of let things be while in the U.S. people seem nosier by comparison. 

However, people just generally like to stare and watch others.  I do it all of the time, but I find people immensely fascinating.  It's not because I'm nosy, it's because I enjoy watching the changes in society and how people interact differently with others.

[dalebert]

There are many reasons why someone might be staring. Don't assume it's because they see something odd about you. You're very pretty in your avatar pic. They might find you attractive. It's not polite and some people aren't very tactful about it, but they might just be staring because you're easy on the eyes or they might even be trying to convey interest to you with body language and trying to gauge whether there is any interest in return by your reaction. Some people are better at it. They know how to hint at that with a polite, maybe slightly lingering glance and a smile but others don't have a well-developed sense of boundaries and space bubbles and might just stare. I know I've been there myself and I like to think I'm much better now as I've gotten older. We don't all develop social skills as easily as others. I guess there's a trick to learning how much is welcome and at what point you're making someone feel uncomfortable or even violated.

[SourCandy]

Generally I tend to find it very mixed, It really depends on what you are doing, how many people are around, and how close you are to someone. However I no matter what try to smile, and occasionally say hi and wave then move on. x3 I'm just good around people (yet oddly bad at being sociable closer up)

[Michelle G]

Donna,

You should enjoy San Francisco a lot, once you get a feel for the city you should be comfortable with how people are...yes they might stare, but its usually followed with at least a little smile or nod of "hello".
You also have to remember that SF is a major tourist destination for all kinds of people from all over the world..so, tourists do like to stare and take a lot of pictures, dont be offended by that, just go about your business and they wont really bother you

You might even start to feel more normal here as far as your height goes since tall girls are not all that unusual on the west coast

You also might get a chance to meet some of us when you get here! I for one would enjoy meeting you

[Annah]

everyone on this planet stares at something. It isn't just confined to Singapore. It isn't a regional issue but a human issue. Even in San Francisco, people will stare.

The best thing is just be yourself an ignore those who do stare at you. You'll go insane trying to find a perfect place where no one worries about how the other looks.

[Joeyboo~ :3]

I'm sitting down in boy clothes in public and i'm being stared down right now.
I look way too awkward in guy clothes haha.

But I don't care.

[A]

I don't know about Americans as in "person from the United States" [why on Earth don't you have a term for people from your country in English? Dictionaries remain mute. o.o], but Americans as in "person from America" here don't stare a lot. Since we both have a Western culture, it should be relatively similar in the US.

Well, quite a few will give a weird look or something if something is weird, but they won't actually stare at "weird" people. Only particularily rude people stare, usually. That, or if they're genuinely trying to understand what gender you are, which shouldn't happen in your case.

When confronted with something very weird or disrupting, I think most people actually avoid to look at it once they've seen it.

And also, as it's been said, 5'11 sure is well over the average woman's height, but women that tall actually exist in significant numbers here - I'd say about 5 % - so it's much less shocking than in some Asian countries where people, especially women, are typically very short compared to the Caucassian average, and even a tall man would get stared at a lot, right?

Finally, otherwise, you pass very well, I think. People -might- look at you, surprised to see such a large woman (even though you most probably won't be the first/tallest they see), but I don't think they'll clock you or give you a hateful look. Well, apart from envious aspiring models who were rejected because they were too short, maybe! Ehe.

[GhostTown11]

Seriously? You're going to be in San Fransisco of all places! They won't stare or care since they have seen much weirder things than a transsexual.

[Michelle G]

Seriously? You're going to be in San Fransisco of all places! They won't stare or care since they have seen much weirder things than a transsexual.

I know...right

Donna's comfort level should get much better there!, she will blend in quite well

[King Malachite]

There are many reasons why someone might be staring. Don't assume it's because they see something odd about you.

This ^

I personally like to start at people ESPECIALLY when I'm out of state.  When I was in Washington I stared the living daylights out of people and movements because I like to get a feel for what the people look like.  If I were in California I would stare just as much at EVERYONE if not harder.  People watching is fun and I like to see how they interact with each other.

Besides have you ever heard of EarthCam?  I watch people there from California and all other parts of the country and even Moscow all the time.  They have no clue to they are being stared at.

I guess it just depends on the person's motive but yes.  In my personal experience women, older men, and babies, and children stare the most. 

The awkward part may be the locking of the eyes and what you do from there.  It could show a lot about your personality.  I've given people the "wtf" look or the "look down on the ground" look.

I say you shouldn't worry about it.  People are just going to stare.

[Natkat]

Everyone stares, Donna.
I'm sure you do it too, we all have different reasons for doing it though.
I doubt anyone really thinks you'redisgusting, you pass 100%.

SF will be a lot of a more friendly place though.

Not everyone, in places like lithuania its considered very rude to stare or even look at other people. just to give an exemple.

I think its a good question.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Because of American culture, most fine it impolite to stare.  Momma always said "Don't stare", as she tapped the back of your head.

Women smile when they make eye contact with another woman, even us.   Men stare when they like what they see.

Some may stare, but by looking back at them, they usually quit.  San Francisco is pretty accepting, as is Portland and Seattle.

Don't worry your pretty little head, Donna.  Any stares you may get will be from guys, and then you will get a smile and maybe a phone number.

[GhostTown11]

Yup American culture doesn't like starerers.

[Alainaluvsu]

San Francisco is a pretty easy going place when it comes to transsexuals. If that doesn't work out, go to New Orleans. Yes, people here may give that suggestion a bunch of crap, but seriously that is the most laid back city I've ever been to. The people there are very polite and welcoming no matter what you are. I was walking down Bourbon Street with my mom, being touristy, and some random person shook my hand for no reason, just as a welcome. I seriously think you could be the worst passing transsexual on the planet and they wouldn't give it a second thought.