I don't really know what I want or who I am, can anyone help?

[EmmaS]

Hi,

So, I am a 19 year old male, but sometimes I do not feel like one. I enjoy to crossdress, but more recently I have wanted more, meaning I want to wear womens clothes more often, and even want to wear womens clothes out possibly. However I am extremely scared and so I havent done that, and no one knows that I have these feelings. At one point I thought maybe I was born in the wrong body, but I don't think that is the case. However I do not feel that I am simply a crossdresser because I want to feel in touch with my feminine side very often, and I feel that what I want is greater than a typical crossdresser. I appreciate any help anyone can offer, and please feel free to ask me questions if it can help me in any way. Sorry if this message isn't perfect, but honestly I am so confused.

Thank you,

M

[LordKAT]

You're not alone. Some people are quite happy with just dressing and not doing anything else. No worries and welcome to Susan's.

[EmmaS]

Yeah I know, but I feel like when I crossdress I want to look like a real women, and when I see myself dressed as a women but look like a man I become sad almost. Is that normal for a crossdresser to feel that way?

Thank you,

M

[envie]

It sounds like you need to explore a little further. Could you get some help and get a whole make over so you do look like a woman or as close as possible.
You might try to do that as often as possible and write a journal about it exploring your feelings.
I would say it is really too early to come to any conclusions but if you can't come to some answers on your own a visit to a gender specialized therapist might help.
i guess a visit to the gender therapist would help in any case.

good luck!

[EmmaS]

Thank you,

I was thinking that would probably be the best option for me. I have spent hours on several occasions trying to find a definition that I feel defines me, but I never feel that I can find one. Thank you again for your help, it made me feel a bit better.

M

[envie]

You are very welcome!
Also remember, the definition of you, even when you find one, will be changing as you are constantly emerging and developing. Not just because you are 19 but because all people who are striving to grow their awareness and consciousness keep discovering new layer of who they are.
I can imagine it would feel settling to figure out who you are right now but really, you have a lot of time to identify yourself with a definition.