Greetings from a transnOOb!

[Violet Bloom]

I'll keep this short and sweet for now:

About two months ago I finally put together 2 + 2 (+ 2 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 2....) from all the pieces of my life and concluded that I'm very likely to pursue an MTF transition.  Since then I've been pretty much glued to my computer reading everything I can find on the topic.  (My Mom just came in and bugged me to get off my butt again!  She doesn't know yet what I'm spending these countless hours on.)  Susan's has quickly become my favourite place to lurk and I've read through thousands of posts already in my quest for clarity.  The spirit on this board is truly inspirational!

For all of you thirty-somethings who were feeling lonely on here I'm 35 (please forgive the 'Mom thing') and going through the motions to possibly medically start transition in about 12 months depending on waiting lists.  I'm aware hormones can change a lot about you but I can say with reasonable certainty that I'll likely identify most strongly as a lesbian.  Hopefully I will have the chance to get to know many more people like me.  Posting anonymously in an internet forum doesn't entirely count as "out" I suppose, but you folks are now officially the first to know.

My user name is Violet Bloom.  You can call me Violet around here although the name is really more a symbol of what I'd like to become via opening up and releasing my colourful character.  Many of you talk of becoming butterflies and such creatures are instinctively attracted to flowers.  I'm excited to finally begin a supportive, mutual discussion about our experiences.

Much love,
  Violet

[Constance]

Welcome, Violet.

On the topic of screen names and usernames, my display name is "Connie Anne," though my username is shades.ogrey. I chose that username as a symbolic gesture that I don't see things in binary options.

On the topic of butterflies, I have numerous rainbow butterfly buttons. I think the butterfly is a cool totem for me as a trans person. The caterpillar and the butterfly are the same being, but the latter is a transformed version of the former.

If you haven't already done so, please review the site rules and terms of service.

Enjoy your stay!

[Devlyn]

Hi Violet, it's nice to meet you! We're glad you found us! There is a nice story somewhere on this site about water beetles, I think Sandy posted it. I hold up the Boston end of things around here, and can usually be found in the kitchen. See you around, hugs, Devlyn

[CryssL]

Hey Violet!  Welcome!

[Violet Bloom]

There is a nice story somewhere on this site about water beetles, I think Sandy posted it.

Found it! https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,106275.msg800413.html#msg800413  I was always a fan of girls who had no qualms about slogging around a bog at nature camp.  (Sigh... what ever became of them...)  I think the dragonfly makes for a strong symbol - they are a high-level predator, many with powerful-enough jaws to inflict a painful bite on a human, and they are nimble and elegant in their own way.  Plus I wish I could fly and hover... perhaps I'm asking for too much now?

Thanks Connie, Devlyn and Cryss for the warm welcome!

P.S. On an amusing related note, one of the verification questions for the post asked "Are you a human?"  And here we are idolizing insects    I actually had to pause for a moment before answering.

[Jeneva]

Found it! https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,106275.msg800413.html#msg800413  I was always a fan of girls who had no qualms about slogging around a bog at nature camp.  (Sigh... what ever became of them...)  I think the dragonfly makes for a strong symbol - they are a high-level predator, many with powerful-enough jaws to inflict a painful bite on a human, and they are nimble and elegant in their own way.  Plus I wish I could fly and hover... perhaps I'm asking for too much now?

Thanks Connie, Devlyn and Cryss for the warm welcome!

P.S. On an amusing related note, one of the verification questions for the post asked "Are you a human?"  And here we are idolizing insects    I actually had to pause for a moment before answering.

Welcome Violet.

Just please don't eat my honey bees while flying around as a dragonfly.

My wife LOVES the dragonfly as a spirit animal/totem and we always stop when in the yard or hiking if we see a dragonfly or damselfly.  We saw a beautiful deep violet damselfly on our way to Laurel Falls Sunday.  The color is an interesting coincidence with your chosen username.

As for me I prefer to use the butterfly symbology, but in terms of guidance the phoenix has been far more important in my life.

There is no such thing as too late.  To live as your true self for even one day is a precious gift.  I finally acknowledged that I would eventually have to transition at 35 too.  It has taken me almost 4 years, but this past year has overall been better than dozens of them before.

[Jamie D]

Hello, Violet, and welcome from southern California.

I'm not sure I ever met a "transnOOb" before.  Pleased to make your acquaintance.

[justmeinoz]

Hello and Welcome. Not many Violets or Dragonflies around here this time of year, it's freezing!
It's a nice feeling when 1+1=17!
Once I realised I had been confusing Gender and Sexuality any interest I had in men ceased pretty quickly,  and while I can happily have a relationship with a pre-op transwoman or Intersex person (done that already  ) with boy bits, the rest of the male package makes it about as incomprehensible as having sex with a tractor.
I have been accepted in the local Gay and Lesbian support groups as a dyke without any negative comments.  Some of the girls have asked questions about transition and what is involved, and once they get the idea I am a woman who got stuffed around on the assembly line, and have no intention of imposing a male persona on things, are cool with it all.
Life is good now.
Karen.

[Violet Bloom]

Just please don't eat my honey bees while flying around as a dragonfly.

I will leave your bees alone as honey is also a precious commodity.

I'm not sure I ever met a "transnOOb" before.

Since I was joining an internet forum I thought that to be an accurate web-speak assessment of myself right now.  I'm certainly a unique character and glad to be the first coin the term.  I discovered a new word today that might define it best - "neologism /ne·ol·o·gism/ (ne-ol´ah-jizm) a newly coined word; in psychiatry, a new word whose meaning may be known only to the patient using it."  May you all help me get my head on straight!

Once I realised I had been confusing Gender and Sexuality any interest I had in men ceased pretty quickly,  and while I can happily have a relationship with a pre-op transwoman or Intersex person (done that already  ) with boy bits, the rest of the male package makes it about as incomprehensible as having sex with a tractor.

I connect with these thoughts exactly although I've never had any direct experience with anyone else's 'boy bits'.  On a facinating related note however I came to a conclusion many years ago (well before I had any idea about being trans) that with the kinds of girls I was always attracted to there was a good chance I'd end up meeting and getting along with someone who is intersex.  Interesting, huh?  I have known one before who was an absolutely charismatic and wonderful woman with an angelic singing voice.  She also had a transwoman partner.
By the way, you know the problem with tractors is they don't cuddle   Well, maybe they just run a little rough...

Thank-you very much to Jeneva, Jamie and Karen for your kind welcome!  I'm currently hugging myself for lack of anyone else around to share my sudden rush of affection with.

[Violet Bloom]

I thought it rather auspicious that I joined Susan's Place on Tuesday, the very day of the transit of Venus.  Unfortunately I didn't know this until today or I would have tried to watch since it won't happen again for another 105 years.  It doesn't show it yet in the profile sidebar but I had entered my location as being "In orbit around Venus".  Totally weird, huh?!?

[Jamie D]

Totally weird, huh?!?

[Rising_Angel]

Hiya!  lol @ n00b

I feel very close to your situation, being 36 and just starting the journey as well.  Though, I'm really thinking about amending that to "I'm 36 and just entering the home stretch."  I realize that most of my life so far has been working it out mentally and emotionally to get to this point, so looking at the next 5 years or so as "the journey" really seems lacking ... but anywho ...

While it's silly to say "welcome" when you posted before I did, I'm gonna anyway!  Welcome!  I kinda feel like we're the new girls at a school, lol, it will be nice to have someone that's at the same point as I am!

Anyway, feel free to "bug" me anytime (get it? lol)!

[Elena G]

I thought it rather auspicious that I joined Susan's Place on Tuesday, the very day of the transit of Venus.  Unfortunately I didn't know this until today or I would have tried to watch since it won't happen again for another 105 years.  It doesn't show it yet in the profile sidebar but I had entered my location as being "In orbit around Venus".  Totally weird, huh?!?

Gosh, I joined on tuesday too. Very ironic given that I'm an Aries, which is related to planet Mars. Oh, fate... 

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Hi Violet,

Welcome to our little family. Over 7161 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )

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Janet 

[King Malachite]

Hi welcome to Susans!

[Violet Bloom]

OMG, Jamie, that expression is perfect!  And I certainly appreciate the purple touch.

Angel, I'm really glad to find others my age to share the journey with.  I agree it feels like I've spent an eternity in my life working out all the permutations in my mind before reaching this stage.  I've completed a full-marathon before and I'm hoping the next few years feel like the home stretch when I managed to produce a little burst of speed and look photo-worthy as I crossed the finish line.  Perhaps without all that physical PAIN though!

Elena, I'm also an Aries.  While I suppose I ventured out on my space quest to Venus long ago aboard a rickety, cramped little rocket, I struggle to shake off that dusty, cold little red rock Mars.  There was only enough room for food, air and fuel for a one-way trip though so I must complete my mission.  There's risk in everything - I just want to find my happy place.  I've learned through experience that the most important things in my life to achieve always scare the crap out of me!

Janet, glad to see that while the mice play there's a few responsible ones around to keep them from getting too rowdy.

Malachite, I'm a total freak for cheesecake and thankfully have the metabolism to get away with it.

Thank-you again, all.

[Elena G]

Elena, I'm also an Aries.  While I suppose I ventured out on my space quest to Venus long ago aboard a rickety, cramped little rocket, I struggle to shake off that dusty, cold little red rock Mars.  There was only enough room for food, air and fuel for a one-way trip though so I must complete my mission.  There's risk in everything - I just want to find my happy place.  I've learned through experience that the most important things in my life to achieve always scare the crap out of me!

Same here. I'm usually very irrational when stuff like that happens cause sometimes it's too loud a shout to ignore. Just remember to shake that dust off your boots when you're done, it will be time to party!

[Violet Bloom]

Having attended many a far-flung rave event I'm quite used to partying WITH dust on my boots, not to mention how much ended up in my lungs at times

[gennee]

Welcome to Susan's, Violet.