30 day genderqueer challenge

[aleon515]

3)What's your favorite ways of upsetting gender roles / genderbending / genderf***?

More from my journaling:
I'm not really into the genderf***-- maybe a little too old? I'm not entirely sure what this means actually, but I think it means to go against gender expectations for the purpose of upseting and confusing others. If you stick to that definition then I don't do this.

But I do like it when people are not entirely sure what gender I am. It's been really good the last few days with my new haircut, hat, etc. going into places and they are not immediately "gendering" me. I am happy if the don't ma'am me-- way happy. The reason it makes me happy is that I feel that I am most like myself inside.

--Jay Jay

[eli77]

3) What's your favorite ways of upsetting gender roles / genderbending

Um... upsetting may be too strong a word. But I like my boy clothes, and my best friend says I'm "screwing with him" as my hair keeps getting shorter and with the clothes and all. (Since I was assigned male at birth and transitioned and am physically female.) He thinks I look good like that regardless though. Apparently he's into the tomboy look. I'm still trying to decide if that should creep me out or not.

Oh and this was fun when it happened:

I got misgendered. But in a good way.

A woman walking behind me into the ladies room (so all she can see is my short hair, men's shirt, jeans, boots, and six feet of height) called to me in French: "you know this is the ladies? The gents is over there." And I had the great satisfaction of watching her go red with embarrassment when I turned around and said, "yeah."

Shame I was so flat on my feet. In retrospect I totally should have gone with, "Excuse me? Want to see my tits?" Lost opportunities...

But anyway... Woo! First time being misgendered as an andro lesbian. I feel like I've been through a right of passage or something. 

[Julian]

3) What's your favorite ways of upsetting gender roles / genderbending / genderf***ing?

Probably presentation and clothing. I like wearing a skirt with a shirt and tie, pretty makeup with masculine clothing, things like that. I'm more comfortable wearing skirts, dresses, and makeup now that my chest is flat. My presentation has been skewed toward feminine lately, it being the time of year when sundresses are appropriate. Since I'm still read as mostly female, though, I play with the femme look and give it an edge. Bright colors rather than soft ones, masculine shoes with pretty skirts, denim vests over dresses.

I love clothes.

[Your Humble Savant]

3) What's your favorite ways of upsetting gender roles/genderbending?

Usually, one of two ways:
1) being especially crass while ostensibly dressed as a female (spitting, burping without shame, cursing, generally being unladylike)
2) engaging in typically "male" activities while presenting as female (e.g. hard labor)

[aleon515]

Note: I'm not too fond of this one but I think I'll post it just to keep this going, as later ones are more interesting.
Day 4: Name some queer heroes, influences, or crushes
I wrote: Oh gosh, I don't have too many of these. I really like Rachel Maddow though. I think she is very bright, witty, and tuned in. She is quite a good writer and I am enjoying her book "Drift".
(BTW, Rachel Maddow is host to her show on MSNBS "The Rachel Maddow Show". I'm NOT putting this up her for a political discussion! Just to continue this thread.)


--Jay Jay

[Edge]

4) Name some queer heroes, influences, or crushes.
Um... well, my former neighbour and friend is a young, single (bi) mom who does an amazing job parenting her children and has an infectiously positive attitude (at least, I think so). She's strong, responsible, funny, friendly, and all around a great person to hang out with. She's one of those people who make the world a better place just by being herself.

[suzifrommd]

Day 4: Name some queer heroes, influences, or crushes

A total goose egg. I don't know any other birth males whom I even suspect of being non-binary, either through media or in person. We're it not for Susan's I would conclude I am the only member of my species, the last mutant X-man among humans.

[eli77]

Day 4: Name some queer heroes, influences, or crushes

Gwen Haworth - seeing her film and meeting her was pretty life changing in some ways. I'm really happy she exists and is out there in public. I think she's helping a lot of queer trans girls get past the femininity/heterosexuality myths. Closest I'd have to a hero I guess.

K's Choice/Sarah Bettens, Tegan & Sara, Sleater-Kinney, The Organ - queer musicians and bands that helped keep me breathing through the bad years.

Ivan E. Coyote, Sarah Waters, Ann-Marie MacDonald - brilliant queer authors whose work I love and respect. (Ivan is also non-binary and IDs as transgender.)

Crushes? Abisha Uhl (lead singer) of Sick of Sarah kind of makes me swoon-y.

[Kinkly]

1) Do you use any other terms to define or explain your gender?
Intergender, Androgyne.  M2WtF
2) How did you grow up with your gender?
Thinking there was something wrong with me,  trying to hide it, unsuccessfully trying to fit in.
3) What's your favorite ways of upsetting gender roles / genderbending?
I just live as me haveing full beard long hair lipstick clearly fem clothes. This Is me some call it gender >-bleeped-<ing/gender bending ect. but I'm just being me
4) Name some queer heroes, influences, or crushes.
I felt a conection as a teen with Max from Dark Angel who seemed to have a lot of the simalar struggles as me (except people weren't trying to kill me and I couldn't do amazing (superhero type) things. 
Some of the songs by Red Hot Chili Peppers really helped me cope with being different. but crushes/heroes escaped me especially from the queer world

[Jamie D]

Day 4

4) Name some queer heroes, influences, or crushes

I always thought that Reginald K Dwight had an evolving genderqueer persona, and was one of the musical geniuses of the 1960's to the 1980's.

[Jamie D]

Day 5

5) Dysphoria and how you manage it

"Jamie's World" blog entry:  Dealing with the dysphoria

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,120682.0.html

[peky]

DAY 1

1)   Do you use any other terms to define or explain your gender?
        No, I am just a female.

[peky]

1)   Do you use any other terms to define or explain your gender?
No, I am just a female

2) How did you grow up with your gender?
Happy to be female, but constantly abused by others

3) What's your favorite ways of upsetting gender roles / genderbending?
I do not do this

4) Name some TG heroes, influences, or crushes.
Lynn Conway, Marci Bowers MD

5) Dysphoria and how you manage it Change the things I  can, ignore the ones I cannot do anything about

6) When did you realize you were Transgender?
3-4 YO

[suzifrommd]

Day 5

5) Dysphoria and how you manage it

One of the benefits of aging is that it's a long course on acceptance. Parts of your body start to fail, you have less hair, lose your close up vision, start to have to visit the doctor more often with things not working that should.

Really helps me understand that my body will never again be the way I want it to. The fact that it doesn't match, could never match, my internal identity is just another shortcoming I have to accept.

[Pica Pica]

DAY 1

1)   Do you use any other terms to define or explain your gender?
        No, I am just a female.

Then a genderqueer challenge probably isn't your thing.

Actually, it's not really my kind of thing either, I do not have much/any sense of a queer identity in any sense, apart from anything else, I hate all the acronyms.

There's a question later that says 'how do you interact with media queerly?', which made me want to say I watch tv whilst wearing a scuba suit. To be honest I don't see being androgyne as an identity in itself, just a foundation to build an identity on. That being said, I can relate to the questions, if a little wonkily.

1 - I use the term androgyne to describe my gender, it was the first word I found, so I adopted it and made it mine. In past times I would describe myself as a 'pregender' androgyne, in that I feel my gender identity is more like that of a small child, an unformed sense of male female, rather than an advanced rejection of them or anything. It's not that I want to overcome the binary, it's more that I am innocent of it.

2 - I grew up quite happily with my gender, although there were times I were nudged on maler paths, I was generally allowed to play with my teddies and puppets quite happily. It wasn't until a general identity crisis on completing university that I needed to explore gender and reconcile myself to whatever gender I was.

3 - As someone with this childlike perspective in gender, I can't really bend or queer it. I just grab the pretty things indiscriminately around me. This may sometimes seem like I am bending gender, but not to me. It's like if you saw a three year old boy with his mum's high heels and a dolly - you wouldn't say he was gender-bending, he's just a kid having fun, with little conception of the implications to other people. Same thing.

4 - I have loads of heroes, some were queer but none are my heroes because they were queer. Edward Lear is probably my most favourite queer hero, though Marlowe second.

5 - I manage my disphoria by reminding myself that large swathes of 'normal' people are unhappy with their bodies. I then try and remind myself the importance of authenticity and being what you is.

[eli77]

5) Dysphoria and how you manage it

Hormones, electrolysis, laser, surgery, tattoos, piercings. My body didn't work. So I changed it. Now it works better.

[aleon515]

Day 5: Dysphoria and how you manage it?

From my journal:
I'm dysphoric about my chest. I've never liked it. I had a major meltdown re: getting a bra when I was a teenager. When I look in the mirror and see my whole body I think it looks wrong. It doesn't seem like it is mine but it looks like someone else's.

I actually don't know how to deal with it. I have been wearing large t-shirts (never get one that actually fits me) and layer when I can. I started experimenting with binding. I haven't actually gotten so I tolerate it so well. I also think maybe I look too flat. (Okay maybe I just won't be happy with it. I now wear an undershirt everywhere, which gives me another layer, and that helps me a lot.

I try not to look in the mirror. I have thought about covering it up in some temporary way, but funny thing that since I have been dressing more androgynously I kind of like to look at myself-- so I guess it is a way of dealing with it.

I think I didn't understand what these feelings were before. I kind of am going thru a whole new stage of feelign dysphoric and learning to adjust to it.

--Jay Jay

[Edge]

5) Dysphoria and how you manage it.
Erm... When I talk about bad dysphoria, I'm not talking about gender dysphoria. I have some, but not much trouble managing it. Mostly, I just dislike the fact that people see me as female when I'm not and may not see me as a man because I'm not always male. I'm still figuring that out.
For the bad dysphoria, I accepted that I have it and that's it's not going away. I managed to stop worrying as much about whether it meant insanity since professionals and logic say I'm not. I don't know how I did that. I also started looking at it like this: my body is like an outfit I can't take off without killing myself. I love life too much to give it up and I like being here, therefore I am grateful to my body for letting me be here. I simply hate weakness too much to let anything take me down.

[Julian]

5) Dysphoria and how you manage it

Top surgery is the main one. My lesser coping mechanisms are piercings, haircuts, and hair dye. In fact, since I've had top surgery, I've had so much less of that overwhelming dissatisfaction with my looks that led me to cut and dye my hair every three or four weeks before. I've cut my hair once and dyed it once in the past 12 weeks. Less changing of my hair isn't inherently a good thing, but it comes from a good place.

I still have a little dysphoria, mainly surrounding areas like my hips and thighs. There's not a whole lot I can do about that, but it's not as overwhelming as my chest dysphoria was.

[Edge]

6) When did you realize you were genderqueer?

Sometime in January when I found out that there is word for what I am and that I'm not the only one. Also, I was rather distracted by certain things before that.