30 day genderqueer challenge

[GhostTown11]

I also hate the passing or presenting words.

I feel like it consumes wayyy too much time for transfolks but realizing the implications of not passing how could it not?

[ativan]

19) What terms in the cisgender, GSM, or trans* community are problematic?

Androgynous: To many people this means someone impossible to gender. To others it is the adjectival form of androgyne. I prefer a duel definition of androgyne to fit the second definition. As in, I have an androgyne gender identity, rather than androgynous gender identity.

Re: Difference between androgyne *Identity* and androgynous *expression*
« Reply #3 on: October 02, 2011, 11:02:51 pm »

Just remember that androgynous is an expression of appearance.
You can look androgynous and not be Androgyn
You can be Androgyn and not look androgynous
If You are Androgyn and look androgynous, you don't.
You then look androgyn. Which can have a look of androgynous, but it isn't.

Ativan

[aleon515]

19)What terms in the cisgender, LBGT, or trans* community are problematic?


Back to journaling on this:

Oh boy, so many, so little space. I really don't care for the term "androgyne". It sounds so much like "androgynous" that I think many people think it is one and the same. OTOH, other terms have their own limitations, and I haven't found one I really like. I think it is a problem that there is no androygne pronoun. Okay I realize there are the constructed pronouns (hir, zer, ze, etc). Most people are just not going to use them. And there are is the singular "they". I think the later is confusing. I realize there is some correct use of "they" otherwise, but I get confused if it is used in a sentence.

There are several words that cause concern and I mostly agree with them included here but not limited to: passing, stealth, even cisgender (don't you suppose some macho guys hear that word and think "I'm no sissy gender". )

[Jamie D]

Day 19

19) What terms in the cisgender, GSM, or trans* community are problematic?

I personally don't mind the terminology, unless people try to use it as a weapon.

For instance, ">-bleeped-<" and "she male" are two terms that cause some distress.
If someone called me a "she male," I'd say, "Thanks, I'm trying!"   

[suzifrommd]

20) Have you faced any problems or gone through any changes regarding religion?


I've never been very religious, and being genderqueer hasn't changed that.

But seeing how some of the mainstream religions in this are have used hate toward the queer community to unite their congregations has really lowered those denominations in my esteem.

[Constance]

20) Have you faced any problems or gone through any changes regarding religion?

No. For the record, I'm a Budhistic-Christo-Pagan.

My Zen teacher advised me that transition was not attachment to preference, but pursuing my true nature. In various Pagan traditions, changing sex isn't anything out of the ordinary. My church has been tremendously supportive and encouraging during my transition.

I guess a change is in the works, though. After my legal name change is done, I'm going to have my ex-wife, an ordained minister, baptize me.

[Edge]

20) Have you faced any problems or gone through any changes regarding religion?
Actually, yeah I'd say so. I had gone from paganish to "omg my nuts" to "ok I'm ok" and now this gender thing has thrown me back to "omg I'm nuts." That's a problem because it makes me unhappy.

[Julian]

20) Have you faced any problems or gone through any changes regarding religion?

I have, but it was before anything gender-y came up in life. I used to be a practicing Lutheran, but sort of dropped that sometime between First Communion and Confirmation. Now I'm an agnostic pantheist with a love for the ritual and liturgy of the Catholic church.

My mom's been Lutheran my entire life, and she still occasionally gives me a "Jesus loves you even if you're trans" talk. She means well.

[Jamie D]

Day 20

20) Have you faced any problems or gone through any changes regarding religion?

No, my training is in the geological sciences.  I am able to separate by personal spiritual beliefs from religious dogma and irrational thought.

[aleon515]

20) Have you faced any problems or gone through any changes regarding religion?

Not really. I haven't been going to church for several years, but when I did I went to the United Church of Christ. They are a very liberal church. It wouldn't be any kind of issue.

--Jay Jay

[ativan]

20) Have you faced any problems or gone through any changes regarding religion?

I have a very hard time keeping a straight face and not laughing when people are 'discussing' religion.

Ativan

[Edge]

21) How has your relationship with yourself been affected since you realized you were genderqueer?
The bad: I began struggling with self hatred because of the fear that this is not real and that I am stupid fake.
I(guy) am often uncomfortable with me ever being female.
Confusion makes me feel uncomfortable.
The good: Gender euphoria felt really good.
I stopped feeling like I needed a male to complete me because I am the male.

[suzifrommd]

21) How has your relationship with yourself been affected since you realized you were genderqueer?

Like Edge, good and bad.

The good is that I can let myself feel and do things that I was resistant to like cry at movies and little feminine behaviors. It's helped me know part of myself better, because all the little genderquirks that I've gotten used to can now be seen to fit into a genderqueer whole that makes more sense.

The bad is that I'm seeing myself do things I would never in a million years do and I feel like I don't know myself anymore at all. I looked at feminine jewelry and clothing and thought how much fun it would be to put together a "look". This from someone who never had a fashion-conscious thought in his life.

I literally stopped short in my tracks and had to ask "who IS this guy?"

[Pica Pica]

19) What terms in the cisgender, GSM, or trans* community are problematic?

I too have a very itchy relationship to the term 'androgynous'. When pressed too hard it seems to imply that all andros are skeletal, cold people who wouldn't know how to smile if they won a thousand pounds while watching all their heros in a revue show and being fellated by the person of their choice.  As a warm, cuddly, smiley chub of a person - I find talk of androgynity that focusses on androgyny to be very alienating.


20) Have you faced any problems or gone through any changes regarding religion?

Not because of this, no. I am actually an atheist child of a minister who spent their teen years growing up in a seminary. I still have a lot of respect for the possible social and psychological good that religion can give (in particular the more liberal forms of Christianity, but that's what I know better). I love religious art, and even some religious writing but it is too clearly human in conception and expression to be an image of God.


21) How has your relationship with yourself been affected since you realized you were genderqueer?

I am more confident and less cocky. I am not ashamed of the parts of me that don't fit, because now all the parts of me do fit. They fit into an androgyne identity.

[Jamie D]

Day 21

21) How has your relationship with yourself been affected since you realized you were genderqueer?

I use this definition:

Genderqueer (GQ ; alternatively non-binary) is a catch-all term for gender identities other than man and woman, thus outside of the gender binary and heteronormativity.

I think I began to realize my "non-heteronormativity" when I was a young teen.  I thought, at the time, there was something wrong with me.  It has only been in the last couple of years that I have truly embraced my genderqueer nature.  I am at greater peace being me, though I still struggle to cope with the pull of the seemingly opposing forces within.

[aleon515]

21) How has your relationship with yourself been affected since you realized you were genderqueer?

I think I'm more confused re: what this all means. But I also feel this explains things that I never understood about myself before, so I guess that part feels good and makes pieces slide together.

--Jay Jay

[Julian]

21) How has your relationship with yourself been affected since you realized you were genderqueer?

At first I became more depressed than I had been before. Once I figured out was non-binary I figured out why I felt like an alien and why I was so uncomfortable in my body, and I knew what I had to do to "fix" it (top surgery), but it seemed so far out of my reach. Once I got a date set for surgery, even before it took place, I started to feel much happier and more comfortable.

22) What is your sexual and romantic orientations? Are they affected by your gender?

Romantically, I think the word for it is demiromantic, which is a bit controversial, but it describes my experience: that I have to have some sort of personal connection to a person before I feel for them romantically. Generally it takes me at least a year of being friends with a person before I begin to fall for them. Sexually, attraction can happen much faster. And for both, I like men, but not exclusively.

[Edge]

22. What are your sexual and romantic orientations? Are they affected by your gender?
I'm technically pansexual, but I don't like the term. There are certain things that make people attractive to me and those things happen to be regardless of gender. Actually, I haven't had any sort of real romantic or sexual attraction in about two years (not counting fictional characters), so the question is kind of moot at this point.

[Pica Pica]

I like women mostly, I get on with them better and find them more attractive but I also like being cared for by a man.

[suzifrommd]

22. What are your sexual and romantic orientations? Are they affected by your gender?

My sexual orientation probably helped mask my gender problems. As a male-bodied person who really was only attracted to females, it was hard to separate sexual/romantic interest from identification. I always assume the reason why the women were the most interesting people in the room (or the bookshelf / box office / CD rack) was because I found them attractive.

It also is an issue when I think about transition. My wife, being a straight female, will have little interest married to someone who presents female.