Hi Lisa, Hi Gennee. Thanks again for your offer, Catherine, it's very nice of you.
Thanks for the advice, glicious. I've already got an appointment with a psychologist referral service next Thursday--but I really do appreciate your comments, they did help assure me as regards the fam.
Fortunately my closest friends are generally women. I've been talking to one of them. She's going to show me how to do makeup! I didn't think I'd care for that, but the more I open up to all of this the more I realize how many of the girly things I rather like.
Yes, I worry somewhat about losing that sense of connection in the sf community, despite the support I'll have there. I suspect I'll end up a real tomboy in that realm, since that's the easiest strategy for being 'one of the guys' amongst geek women. Besides, I'm there in that community because I like the same things they do, not because of my gender. It's actually has always been rather a relief, that community, because there the prime issue is whether you like Star Wars or Star Trek, not whether you're male or female (even if that topic creeps up far too often). I suspect they'll be weirded out but supportive until they figure out I'm still there to talk sf, and still like the same geeky stuff that I did before my transition began. Then it'll be easier I hope.
I don't see my family more than once a year, but my family has always been close. My dad calls once a week, and would call more often. This is going to be hardest on him, in that he's: (mildly) schizophrenic, homophobic, and very religious. Most of my family is, in fact, highly religious--however they're quite tolerant in that regard, believing that God wants us to accept everyone for who they are. The fact that they can tolerate my firm agnosticism is a definite good sign. The problem comes with my Dad's mental illness and his homophobia, but I hope that he'll understand over time.
I'm going to start by telling my sister, then my mother and stepfather (he has a Masters in psychology, so that may help--plus he's terribly wise). I may wait until the summer, when I might go visit them. If not, I'm going to tell only my sister over Skype (she at least halfway knows already, in that I told her a couple years ago about feeling that I had at least as many feminine qualities as masculine. She'd said, I think, that if I ever decided to become a woman that she'd think of me as her older sister, which in retrospect has been a real help). Anyway, I figure she can help me get the ball rolling at home, since I sort of prepped her already. I won't tell my dad til I see him in person, sit down and explain things in detail. I suspect I'll lose a few of my extended family (sucks to be them, I guess), but that my nuclear family will be okay after my Dad gets over having another daughter. If he can deal with my agnosticism, I suspect the rest will work out eventually.
