I'm out

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Everyone,

As some of you may know I came out at Easter, somewhat ahead of time and without much time to prepare anything to say. So basically I was left with the naked truth. One major problem I found was, that the truth has always been there. Nothing to be frightened of, it was just buried under 50 odd years of shame and guilt. Which shouldn't have been there in the first place. I think that is why the teens and in some cases the pre teens find it so much easier today to come out. They don't have time to build up any shame or guilt.

So what I'm saying to those of you, yet to travel this unique path, if you can just focus on your true feelings and shed the the negative attitudes, shame and guilt that may be tieing you down, and just go for it; it's like that old band-aid addage. Don't dilly dally and peel it off, just grab the edge and ...... rip. It's over and done with, time to move forward.

Oh BTW, if a picture paints a 1000 words, I've got at least 10 million from my mother-in-law. She inadvertently arrived back at our place after a weekend away with my wife. I happened to be in the kitchen cooking when she came in. My wife realising a possible dilemma, took control of the situation and said, "Mum, this is Catherine."  Well the look on her face was worth a million dollars to say the least. The look started out as absolute shock and slowly subsided into sad disapproval. But, that's her problem. Not mine. Totally amazing the profound difference between the ages.

So to all of you waiting and wishing and hoping for acceptance and love. Just GO FOR IT. It's waiting for you.

And always remember. This is NOT your problem. You didn't ask for this. You didn't choose it; and it's NOT your fault.

Be safe, well and happy

With profound love and caring

Catherine

[Devlyn]

Well said, Catherine. There is much strength to be found in those words. Hugs, Devlyn

[Constance]

I had never understood why people would say that coming out was liberating, until I had my own coming out. It truly is liberating, even when there is "sad disapproval."

It's us formally becoming us. And it's wonderful.

Congratulations, Catherine. This is a big step.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Connie,

You are soooo absolutely right. Liberation may not describe it fully. I tend to see it as a whole new level, almost dimension. The truth does literally set you free. Never to be restrained again. 

Little bit like a snake when it sheds its skin. Whole new snake.

And thank you Devlyn for your very kind words. You are always so sweet. (Ha ha . Me thinks it's time for an apple pie    )

Be safe, well and happy

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[Devlyn]

Did someone say 3.1415? Hugs, Devlyn

[kelly_aus]

Firstly, nice to see you around again Catherine! 

And secondly, you're right, coming out was very liberating - even for those of us who are not quite middle-aged. I've been able to shed the 'mask' I wore for so many years and finally just be me.

I'm sorry that your M-I-L has taken the attitude that she has, but it sounds like your wife is on the same page as you, which is a blessing.

Congratulations, Catherine! 

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Well, Catherine, by now the rest of the in-laws know.  M-I-L is probably wondering what is going to happen now, and how her daughter is handling things.  Although it sounds like the wife handled things very well.

One more down. 

[Amazon D]

Great we need more cute lesbians 

[Jamie D]

.... Oh BTW, if a picture paints a 1000 words, I've got at least 10 million from my mother-in-law. She inadvertently arrived back at our place after a weekend away with my wife. I happened to be in the kitchen cooking when she came in. My wife realising a possible dilemma, took control of the situation and said, "Mum, this is Catherine."  Well the look on her face was worth a million dollars to say the least. The look started out as absolute shock and slowly subsided into sad disapproval. But, that's her problem. Not mine. Totally amazing the profound difference between the ages....

It's a good thing you don't do what I sometimes do - cook wearing an apron ...
and only an apron.

That would have been a billion dollar look.

[justmeinoz]

Sounds like things are going nicely Catherine.  Your wife is brilliant!  Give her a hug from me.

Karen.

[Cindy]

Welcome back to the gang.

We have missed you.

I'm a bit worried about JamieD cooking in just an apron!

The thought is quite frightening

Hugs Sis

Cindy

[Catherine Sarah]

Firstly, nice to see you around again Catherine! 

And secondly, you're right, coming out was very liberating - even for those of us who are not quite middle-aged. I've been able to shed the 'mask' I wore for so many years and finally just be me.

I'm sorry that your M-I-L has taken the attitude that she has, but it sounds like your wife is on the same page as you, which is a blessing.

Congratulations, Catherine! 

Kelly you are such a thoughful woman. Like so many others here. Thank you for the hug and the bunch of flowers. I'll put the hug in a vase of water immediately and keep the flowers. .... Whoops Other way round I'll put the flowers in a vase of water and keep the hug.

And there could be something in what you say about age. This liberation must shed years dramatically. Someone today thought I looked like was 37. WOW are THEY on my Christmas list. YEAH!!!

And as for my MIL. Well she's my MIL. She'll get over it ....... in her next lifetime; perhaps. And for the time being I think we'll stay together, but at the end of the day, as they say, My transition is everyones transition, and I must respect my wife's needs and opinions, whichever way that may go.

And I'm serious about being your BM, regardless of what RS you are in. You just deserve this.

Well, Catherine, by now the rest of the in-laws know.  M-I-L is probably wondering what is going to happen now, and how her daughter is handling things.  Although it sounds like the wife handled things very well.

One more down. 

Thank you Janet. Hopefully the outlaws will respect my son's wedding, and not spread the word. And you are right. Both MIL and wife are probably pondering that exact situation 24/7. What next??

My wife is an absolute legend.

Great we need more cute lesbians 

Danielle, please. Don't embarrass me at this stage.    I still don't know which way up is.   

It's a good thing you don't do what I sometimes do - cook wearing an apron ...
and only an apron.
That would have been a billion dollar look.

I'm too embarrassed to look Jamie    Puts a whole new spin on some cooking terminology I know.    

Sounds like things are going nicely Catherine.  Your wife is brilliant!  Give her a hug from me.
Karen.

Thank you for your kind and generous thoughts Karen. Things are going resonably as they can at the moment. Obviously lots of big decision for some people in the very near future. But just taking one day at a time is about what I can comfortably handle. You're absolutely spot on. My wife is an absolute legend of miracle proportions. I'll definately pass on your 

Welcome back to the gang.
We have missed you.
I'm a bit worried about JamieD cooking in just an apron!
The thought is quite frightening
Hugs Sis
Cindy

Thanks Hun. I can honestly say I didn't miss you all. You were all with me, each and every day. I read and re read everyones PM's, threads, txt, emails, phone calls, semaphore, carrier pigeon, whatever. That was the lifeline that got me through. It's family here, and that's what families are for. To be there when needed. And as far as I'm concerned, everyone was here for me. I'm not quite sure how I can ever repay such generousity and appreciation of a situation. I did however miss the brandings, floggings and 3.4145's 

And thank you for the welcome back. It's fabulous to be back; with family.
Oh. and how right you are about JamieD. I don't want to go down that path. It may ruin all my recipes.   

With abundant gratitude and appreciation
Love to all
Catherine

[Dawn Heart]

Catherine,

Ever since I came here you have been a welcoming, warm, compassionate person. You helped welcome me here, and that helped to give me strength to come out to my closest friends which I have few of. You have been a source of strength and inspiration. Thank you for reminding us all that this is not OUR problem NOR our CHOICE, but it is instead just who we are and always have been.

I know now that when I get nervous, anxious, depressed, upset, or whatever...I can just come here to see your words of encouragement and support. I'm not out to family yet, and really want to wait until I have had a few good sessions with my therapist  until I know whether or not I will get a recommendation for HRT and whether or not I am allergic to the drugs used. No sense of rushing it until I know I am good to go with the needed drug treatments.

There is also the matter of waiting to see if the psych doc throws psych drugs at me which could complicate matters. I am going to be very clear that I am against psych drugs because of the many side effects and other known problems they cause. For me, just the talk therapy, professional support and guidance will be enough for me.

If I can't do transition because of medical complications that would be likely to arise, I want to at least stay quiet to family until I know these things and can maybe transition in an alternate fashion without the drugs and such, if that is an option. I'm not going to dwell on that at this time because I don't want to think negatively and neither do I want to get ahead of myself.

One day at a time is how this goes for me. I suppose this is how it is for most of us, and I'm ok with that.

Hugs, Catherine!

Dawn

[glicious]

How lovely!  Well done Catherine   and Congratulations!

[Felix]

"Sad disapproval" for some reason sounds so much more disheartening than shock or anger. But you're strong and I'm glad to see you're doing well and showing others they can too.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Dawn,

I'm just so glad and excited to hear you are moving forward in leaps and bounds toward you expectations and dreams. That is just so liberating.

There is also the matter of waiting to see if the psych doc throws psych drugs at me which could complicate matters. I am going to be very clear that I am against psych drugs because of the many side effects and other known problems they cause. For me, just the talk therapy, professional support and guidance will be enough for me.

That is just sooo right. Stand firm on your resolve NOT to engage in useless medication, particularly when a cup of tea and a good chat can iron sooooo many things out. Years ago I told my GP to forget the drugs. I wanted to live as naturally as possible, not propped up on chemical trash. We've got along fine since then. We both have a health disrespect for each other 

and can maybe transition in an alternate fashion without the drugs and such, if that is an option.

The science and methods of transition these days are vast and numerous, Dawn. HRT and GCS are NOT the only way to transition. Whatever you are comfortable with is the most preferred way. That ensures your self esteem and confidence are at there peak. If you are happy within yourself, what more could you want for?  Life is all about attitude. And it's that aspect that everyone sees of ourself. ( grammer  beware of the preceeding statemment  )I've met women who have transitioned without HRT and GCS and there attitude and outlook on life has been absolutely awe inspiring.

How lovely!  Well done Catherine   and Congratulations!

Thank you so much G.  I'm getting all misty from this.             I just believe that what goes around, comes around. And what has come round to me in recent years has been simply overwhelming.

"Sad disapproval" for some reason sounds so much more disheartening than shock or anger. But you're strong and I'm glad to see you're doing well and showing others they can too.

Thank you Felix. You've been a tower of strength. You'll probably never appreciate that, but what you have been through and yet you still stand strong, is nothing short of inspirational.
       

And you are right. My MIL has been through a lot with her 7 children. She has just recently lost her youngest. 49, just seems too early to leave us. She's a strong woman. She'll survive. She'll probably never understand, but that's for her to figure out. Nobody can do that for her, she's in charge of that one.

Keep up the awesome job you are doing with your family.

Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine