Being strong enough to get over all the guilt you are carrying and sorting out how you really feel is the best plan. I wish I could have. But the guilt of being trans won out every time so I opted for some form normal. Now some 30 years later, plus societal attitudes ever so slowly changing, I can say, even stress, that the best things for you to do now is to find a TG support group and a therapist. One, at least, that is familiar or at least had TG clients. For me the group was a life changing event. No matter how much you intellectually know you are not alone, being in a room full of others talking of the same issues, fears, and joys, that you have, lifts many great burdens we needlessly carry around.
Don't conflate gender identity with sexual preference. There are plenty, perhaps even the vast majority of MTFs, especially the late bloomers, that prefer women partners. In my early 20's when I experimented with transitioning, part of my personal requirements was sexual preference. After all, why go through all the pain and surgery if you prefer a female partner. (I was never hung up about the dangly bits, and still not. I am also going to avoid the political minefield). It probably was a big mistake. Actually dating guys vs the fantasy of it, didn't do anything for me. That plus a few other factors helped to push me towards faking being a guy.
