Getting called out in public

[Dominick_81]

Has anyone ever got'n called out by their female name in public while presenting and/or passing as male?

I was just in the grocery story and my grandfather who doesn't know I'm trans called me out in front of everyone. I wasn't gonna turn around but he kept calling my name louder and louder, it was so embarrassing. I have no idea what people were thinking, but in my mind I felt I passed b/c whenever I wear a hat I pass.

Anyone else have embarrassing moments like this in public?

[AlexanderReese]

This has happened to me before. My face gets hot and I feel very embarassed.
I actually have this thing in which, I don't even talk when I'm in public places such as stores because my voice does not match my face.
Now that I have the okay to change my gender marker, and start my hormones, I think I'll feel way more confident in public.
That happens though so don't feel bad!  it's probably the most awkward, uncomfortable feeling, but with time it should pass. :p

[barbie]

As m2f, I have had such embarassing moments frequently. For example, shopping with my wife while wearing juniors' skirt and heels, my wife called out me "Dad! Dad!" (actually it was 'ahppa' in Korean). A few of my friends take caution in calling me in public. They are intelligent to project themselves in my place, and call me 'lady'. Others are just so so.

Barbie~~

[Nicolas]

One day I was sitting in a doctor's office along with a handful of other people who were chatting amongst themselves commenting on the program on tv. During the program a butch woman came on screen. The people began commenting and none of it was kind or positive. Though it was based on homosexuality it veered to masculine women (who could be ftms that are perceived as butchers). I was so beside myself and left absolutely speechless and stunned. So much so that I didn't hear the doctor call my name, my birth name, until she called out louder as she smiled and beckoned me in.

The room fell silent as I stood, turned and looked at each person. Making eye contact without saying a word and walked into my appointment.

Rather inopportune time.

[Cindy]

 As another MtF .
It happens to me regularly at work.

It doesn't bother me in the slightest.

I don't let it concern me and it doesn't. It scares the beejobs out of people who don't know me. I tell them to call me Cindy.

For me it is part of assimilation.

You either let things worry you or you don't.

I chose not to care what people think about me, and it works very well, because I cannot be insulted;  just accepted.

Cindy

[Traivs]

I understand that feeling though the other day I was at the bus stop with my son and this guy asked if I was his older brother I said no he's me son and we continued to talk for a bit until my son came over and started saying mommy. His expression was like his head was about to explode from shock, than he just stopped talking to me and sat in a different seat. It was funny though cause on the next bus my son wouldn't stop chanting DADDY DADDY and trying to climb on my haha.

[Morgan.]

I have chosen to keep my original name is it's an androgynous/unisex name. I guess I'm lucky in that sense, and that no one really outside of my family/close friends know my middle name, not that anyone uses it anyway.

But when people talk about me and use female pronouns after I have told them, I mostly let it slide and shrug it off. But sometimes it still gets to me.

[Mr. Tentacles]

When things happen to me involving my birth name (which is embarassingly feminine) it's made even more embarassing by the fact that I haven't used that name in a good seven years or so and it's really rare.
It happened recently when I went to a hospital that I hadn't been to since I was 2 or so, and I was still in their records. I politely explained my situation and that I'd appreciate it if they'd call me by my LEGAL name, not birth name, because there's people around (in a very closed-minded town). They flat-out refused until I provided proof of legal name change, and so I've never been back, but they recently sent me mail with my old name on it, which is infuriating. I didn't even ask for them to change the name in paperwork, just to refer to me in a proper, reasonable way.

Another incident, strangely occurred at work where everyone knows of me as a guy, and no one except I'm guessing my boss, knows the truth. I have a pretty deep voice thanks to hormone treatment, and it's been a while since anyone has questioned me.
We were changing shifts, and I work at a convenience store. The guy coming on after me, and older guy, was getting his stuff together, and I was emptying my till. A customer was standing there waiting, and asked what was going on, and the guy says "I'll be able to help you, as soon as she gets out of her till"
The customer was obviously confused, and I was obviously mortified.
I wasn't sure if I should say something, or if it would raise more questions NOT to say something, but I didn't.
Needless to say, it was a confidence killer.

[justmeinoz]

With a Grandfather, I would have kept my back to him and whispered or mouthed the word "Alzheimers" to anyone nearby.   That'd do it.

[Dominick_81]

Sorry you all had those embarrassing moments too, it totally sucks having them.

With a Grandfather, I would have kept my back to him and whispered or mouthed the word "Alzheimers" to anyone nearby.   That'd do it.

lol.

[Aussie Jay]

I was thinking the same thing haha! I pass pretty much 100% but when it's my parents (who are older) I usually just lean in nice and close to remind them that people are going to think they're crazy for calling their son a girl.. But obviously harder with people who don't know - I'd go with the alzheimers Is there a reason he doesn't know or are you just not 'out' to everyone yet...and can you just tell him your preferred name and go with that?? And then just deal with the occasional 'she' etc if it is ever dropped if you're not going to tell him...?

[Dominick_81]

I was thinking the same thing haha! I pass pretty much 100% but when it's my parents (who are older) I usually just lean in nice and close to remind them that people are going to think they're crazy for calling their son a girl.. But obviously harder with people who don't know - I'd go with the alzheimers Is there a reason he doesn't know or are you just not 'out' to everyone yet...and can you just tell him your preferred name and go with that?? And then just deal with the occasional 'she' etc if it is ever dropped if you're not going to tell him...?

Pretty much my all of my immediate family knows except for my grandfather. I think all my uncles know, but I'm not positive. One uncle might not know. Nobody says anything to anyone in my family, everything is kept secret from one another, and I'm still treated as female with family and it really sucks. Nobody makes an effort to try and call me Dominick or use male pronouns. My family doesn't want their friends knowing I'm trans. Sooner or later they are gonna know just as soon as I can grow a decent beard, but I guarantee you they will tell me to shave it off so their friends don't know anythings up.

[Felix]

I got into an argument with my roommate the other day and I tried to walk outside to get away from him and he shouted after me something about "living with an idiot and her kid." I'm stealth with my neighbors because I just moved here and don't know any of them yet. I'm sure they didn't read into it/don't care/whatever, but it hurt my feelings a lot worse than being called an idiot.

[Aussie Jay]

Pretty much my all of my immediate family knows except for my grandfather. I think all my uncles know, but I'm not positive. One uncle might not know. Nobody says anything to anyone in my family, everything is kept secret from one another, and I'm still treated as female with family and it really sucks. Nobody makes an effort to try and call me Dominick or use male pronouns. My family doesn't want their friends knowing I'm trans. Sooner or later they are gonna know just as soon as I can grow a decent beard, but I guarantee you they will tell me to shave it off so their friends don't know anythings up.

Dude can I ask what is your plan?? That sounds like a sucky situation... And I mean you can't live like that forever, can you?!!

[aleon515]

Lol! It totally would! I'll have to keep this one in mind.

If it were a younger person, you could ask if they had taken their medication??

--Jay Jay

[Dominick_81]

I got into an argument with my roommate the other day and I tried to walk outside to get away from him and he shouted after me something about "living with an idiot and her kid." I'm stealth with my neighbors because I just moved here and don't know any of them yet. I'm sure they didn't read into it/don't care/whatever, but it hurt my feelings a lot worse than being called an idiot.

I'm sorry.

Dude can I ask what is your plan?? That sounds like a sucky situation... And I mean you can't live like that forever, can you?!!

I can't move out. I have no money. I've been on unemployment for over a year now and I'm not sure if the unemployment money is going to be filled back up again in my account. I only get $67 a week on unemployment which totally sucks.

But no, I can't live like that forever. I've been looking for a job but just can't find one. Plus I'm kinda fussy about where I'll work.

[Traivs]

That sucks hope you find a job soon I know after a year of being unemployed I just took whatever and started working at McDonald's I also have a few side jobs but sometimes you just need to take whatever you can get, or at least thats the point i got to and now my son and I have our own place. Its way better than dealing with sucky roommates good luck!

[Dominick_81]

@Travis: Thanks.