I am so freaking pissed

[Angelique1994]

I just got off the phone wit my gender tharapist to ask her wen she thinks she's gonna giv me the letter for hormones n she said wen she feels she thinks I deserve it n ready for it. Ughhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bexi]

Unfortunately, theres not much you can do but wait. 

If she feels you need a bit of time, then unless she's incompetant or unethical, she's not doing it out of spite/dominance/pettiness - she has a legitimate reason to think you aren't quite ready for them. Maybe she thinks you still have doubts about being female, aren't in the right frame of mind for them or aren't 100% committed to transistioning (all hypothetical of course)

She does have years of study and experience behind her, so normally I would trust her judgement; unless you have particular concerns that she's not doing her job properly. If you do think shes not up to scratch, then you can request to change therapists, but this won't get you hormones any faster either - you'll have to go through the same stuff at a later stage with someone who doesnt know you.

So sorry if this seems harsh, but maybe she knows whats best  🙂 I know its not what you want to hear, but shes got your own best interests at heart and doing what she thinks is best for you

Keep happy though - im sure you'll get them really soon 
X   

[Angelique1994]

Unfortunately, theres not much you can do but wait. 

If she feels you need a bit of time, then unless she's incompetant or unethical, she's not doing it out of spite/dominance/pettiness - she has a legitimate reason to think you aren't quite ready for them. Maybe she thinks you still have doubts about being female, aren't in the right frame of mind for them or aren't 100% committed to transistioning (all hypothetical of course)

She does have years of study and experience behind her, so normally I would trust her judgement; unless you have particular concerns that she's not doing her job properly. If you do think shes not up to scratch, then you can request to change therapists, but this won't get you hormones any faster either - you'll have to go through the same stuff at a later stage with someone who doesnt know you.

So sorry if this seems harsh, but maybe she knows whats best  🙂 I know its not what you want to hear, but shes got your own best interests at heart and doing what she thinks is best for you

Keep happy though - im sure you'll get them really soon 
X

She told me she dosnt think I'm mature enough to start hormones. She did tell me that she knows I am committed and that she feels that I really am transgender its just she dosnt feel im mentally ready for hormones

[Jamie D]

I think, Angelique, the best way to approach your therapist, is to ask, "How do I deal with my GID, until I can begin HRT?"

[Bexi]

Judging by your username i'd guess you're ... 18? When I was that age, I'd be out drinking 5 nights a week, sleeping around with anything and everything and generally having a 'good' time (or so I thought!). I didnt know what I wanted to do/be and wasted a lot of my time/energy/money needlessly having fun and waking up feeling like crap, both through drink and shame.

Now, you seem like a nice intelligent girl so you probably don't do craaazaay like I did, but maybe your therapist assumes you do. Or she might suppose this is just a 'phase' you're going through (as most teenagers have), so thats qhy she might question you're maturity.

Next time you meet with her, show her that you are mature, that you are ready for hormones. Ask her why she feels this way, and what you can do to make her convince her otherwise. 

X

[mementomori]

mature enough? kima petra started hormones at like 12 , i dont think a 12 year old is that mature even if they are above average intelligence , you can be immature and still be transgender o.O this woman kind of sounds like a idiot to be onhest

[Angelique1994]

She told me that she thinks I'm  not mature because I get angry really easy. Plus she said if I go see another tharapist she's gonna black list me to where no one in the US will giv me the letter

[Angelique1994]

Plus I don't do drugs, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't get into fights, i dont go to partys, and the last time I had sex was last December

[Bexi]

She told me that she thinks I'm  not mature because I get angry really easy. Plus she said if I go see another tharapist she's gonna black list me to where no one in the US will giv me the letter

If she said that, then that seems spiteful/unethical and worrying. I don't know how it works in the US, but i would imagine you have the right to request a different therapist. If she's coming out with BS like that then you definitely have just cause.
X

[GhostTown11]

Last december was a better time than this december so kudos for that! You know, position of the moon and all...

[Adrasteia]

Ask your therapist for realistic and concrete steps you can take to show her that you do have the maturity.  Anger and rage are a bitch, but as a therapist she should know better than anyone that it can be controlled in a healthy manner. I still fall back to the therapy I had in my teens to handle some of my issues (if only I'd brought the rest of them up at the time)

[Angelique1994]

The only reason im angry in the first place is cause I don't have hormones. If I had hormones I would be the happiest person ever. Like I said to her waiting to give me the hormones letter won't help wit my anger it's just gonna make it worse

[Angelique1994]

Wow. 😮 That is cold.

How long have you been seeing this therapist?

Almost a year. I've been to about 6 or 7 appointments

[suzifrommd]

She told me that she thinks I'm  not mature because I get angry really easy. Plus she said if I go see another tharapist she's gonna black list me to where no one in the US will giv me the letter

This is unethical. No therapist should be threatening their clients in this way. Ethical therapists know that not every therapist is right for every client, and it is up to THE CLIENT to decide whether the therapist is right for her.

I've been to quite a number of therapists. One therapist working for an agency told me it would not be possible to change to another therapist. I called her supervisor and asked if that were true. The supervisor said of course I could change therapists. People do it all the time. My therapist called me up and yelled at me for talking to her supervisor. She accused me of trying to "wind her up." The next therapist I had was a kind open woman who helped me a lot.

To this day I shiver every time I think of how bad it might have gotten if I had stayed with the other one.

Get out. Report her to her supervisor if it's an agency or hospital. If she's private, report her to her professional organization. But, most important, get out.

Nobody can blacklist you. That's ridiculous. In America there's a law called libel, where if someone tells a falsehood about you that damages you (like prevents you from getting health care) you can sue them for money. What she is threatening you with is against the law. She cannot do that, and she could face loss of license if she tries.

Please find a therapist who will give you the care you deserve. And please keep posting and let us know what happens.

[Jamie D]

Wow. 😮 That is cold.

How long have you been seeing this therapist?

It's cold, unprofessional, and BS.

Anglique has a lot invested in this therapist.  I can say from experience, starting over is a "pisser."

[Angelique1994]

i wish i could meet someone on here that lives in the new orleans area or anywhere near there that goes to lynn friedman (my gender tharapist) so i can ask them if there experiance with her was as bad as i am having wit her

[suzifrommd]

i wish i could meet someone on here that lives in the new orleans area or anywhere near there that goes to lynn friedman (my gender tharapist) so i can ask them if there experiance with her was as bad as i am having wit her

Even if there were, it might not help. People who victimize other people (and any therapist who threatens to blacklist you is victimizing you) choose their victims carefully. They tend to have a sense of whom they can bully and who won't put up with it.

Do you have a family member, close friend, advisor, teacher, or someone else you can talk to about this? Someone who's on your side and can help you get perspective?

Jamie is right that switching therapists is nasty, but so is staying with one who doesn't have your best interest in mind.

[Angelique1994]

Even if there were, it might not help. People who victimize other people (and any therapist who threatens to blacklist you is victimizing you) choose their victims carefully. They tend to have a sense of whom they can bully and who won't put up with it.

Do you have a family member, close friend, advisor, teacher, or someone else you can talk to about this? Someone who's on your side and can help you get perspective?

Jamie is right that switching therapists is nasty, but so is staying with one who doesn't have your best interest in mind.

She talked to my mon yesturday and my mom was basically agreeing wit her saying that she dosnt think in mature enough for hormones yet n thst I should wait and not go see her for a little bit till I mature more

[Jamie D]

Angelique, did you allow the therapist to discuss your therapy with your mom?

[Angelique1994]

Angelique, did you allow the therapist to discuss your therapy with your mom?

My tharapist always talks to my parents wen I go to an appointment and that's prolly why I don't hav hormones yet cause my mom n dad tell her every little wrong thing I do