Need help explaining why its necessary to transition

[Ross]

hey guys. this is my first time posting here and i was wondering if you could help me with something.

i came out last week sunday to my (very) religious parents and needless to say i was really nervous because i wasn't sure how they were going to react. I came out to my dad alone first, because my mom was inside. I was really surprised and happy to find out that he was supportive and said that he would do anything to see me happy. So at this point i was feeling really good.

A little while later my mom came outside so i told her i was trans. i basically described what it was and how i was feeling, etc. When i was done talking i looked at her and she had this kind of angry look on her face. She then told me that just because i don't fit into stereotypical female roles doesn't mean that i am really a guy. Then she said that she also was not a stereotypical female, she was just herself. Basically she told me that i don't need to take hormones, i just have to be myself.

I tried to tell her that i can't truly be myself in this body, because this isn't me. She wouldn't believe me.

How can i explain to my mom that transitioning is the only way i can be myself?

[Constance]

Welcome, Ross.

Trying to explain the need to transition is not easy. It might be that she needs time to adjust to the idea. There are links in the Wiki that might help. Or, there are books such as True Selves by Mildred Brown & Chloe Ann Rounsley.

If it's any consolation, I came out to my parents when I was nearly 42 years old, and it was still tricky.

If you haven't already done so, please review the site rules and terms of service.

Enjoy your stay!

[wheat thins are delicious]

If you are underage, you can try but it might be a lost cause.  Though if you dad is supportive maybe he could help you bring your mom in on it.  Once you are the age of majority you can transition without their say.

I told my parents by saying it was this or I was likely going to kill myself soon or later. 

[Beth Andrea]

Sounds like she's still trying to be a mom to you, rather than look at you as your own person.

Anger is a normal response to something that either frightens, or isn't understood by someone. Give her time, answer her questions (short, simple answers are better, but not "dumbed-down" simple)

Good luck, kudos to your dad for the support!

[AdamMLP]

My mum tried pointing out that she wasn't a stereotypical female as well, but I didn't push it too much and try to explain because I'm too young to medically transition in the UK and I've got too much to lose by trying to just socially transition now.  I think that if I try to explain properly when I'm older it will be possible to explain to them, so my situation's a little different to yours.  If my dysphoria got a lot worse, and I couldn't cope even with my girlfriend around (who somehow inexplicably makes me feel alright even though I'm not out to her) then I would have to make a start on things and explain it to my mother, probably by explaining how it's not just that I don't fit in with females, but that I don't fit in with my physical body, and that I'll just feel a whole lot happier as a male, as me.

Edited for personal info.

[RagingShadow]

i explained it that i needed to be a boy like i needed to breathe. i was at a point where I just couldn't do it anymore. i think once your mom understands that this isnt a choice, she might be better.
lots of research and resources helped my parents