Hi from another Aussie,
We are the ones on at this time. And of course we bring civility and sense tot he board.
Fun aside, and fun has to be part of this journey. We can laugh and joke because we know what it is like to be us.
There is no cure for being TG. There is treatment that will allow you to love a 'normal' life. For a MtF that MAY mean HRT, surgery etc. But you need the advice of an experienced TG counsellor to work your way through this.
Sadly most religious counsellors have no experience or a predetermined agenda of gender ID problems. You may find that I'm a little unsympathetic to the religious far right that seems to exist in some parts of the USA. To my mind they are so perverted by a an unproven belief that they cannot accept biology, unless it suits them.
In your case you have a problem. If your wife, and I presume the rest of your family believe that Satan is responsible for a well characterised medical condition, then conflict will occur.
Sadly you will need to make a choice. Live your life as you, or as someone tells you that you are.
I've known from a very early age that I'm female. I'm now full time living as me. I am so happy that I cannot express it. After a life of misery I am now a human.
What you need to balance is what you want to do. And be realistic, there is nothing in the profile you gave to stop you taking HRT and living as your gender ID.
So yes you have things that you will lose, maybe your family. Maybe your job. But there are things to gain. Your life, your self respect.
These are not easy choices.
I made mine, and Karen made hers, we are friends BTW and having friends helps. That is also why Susan's is here, we are family and we do care. But we cannot make any choices for you.
If your spouse saw you in female clothing make up wig etc how would she respond? No matter how well or poorly you presented?
Can she live with you as a woman?
Can you live with you not presenting as a woman?
I couldn't, it drove me to the brink of suicide several times and my living in depression. And my story is common.
If not then there will be a split, and sadly I know of many couples who did decide they could live together but then found it was too difficult.
I don't know where in the USA you are but some of the other USA girls may be able to advise of therapists in your area.
Obviously this is not a easy path. But each step of this path has a consequence. You have told your wife. There is no way to retract that. When you go out as a female and realise that is what you want, there is no going back. Once you start hormones thee is a limited time span to stop, as you will become male infertile and to develop secondary sex characteristics common to woman and not men.
I do not mean to be negative, but your post did trigger warnings about your life.
I and all of Susan's are here for you.
Hugs
Cindy
