There's this woman who thinks she's my close friend.
I have told her and reminded her that I am transgender. She keeps calling me "she." She has said that she has no problem with people who are different, but she's said some things that make me wonder.
I have told her while wearing the Slytherin tie that I would be in Slytherin if Hogwarts existed. She later told me that she thinks Slytherins are "slimy." In her defence, it seems she has forgotten and, therefore, didn't consider the fact that she was calling people like me "slimy."
I have told her several times that I'm more like a villain. That, if I lived in a comic book world, I would be a supervillain. I reminded her of this last night. Not even ten seconds later, she is talking to me as if I didn't say a darn thing. No, not just that, she was talking to me as if I had said I wanted to be a hero instead. At least she didn't say that shouldn't be the way I am, but this isn't good either.
(I know both are those are fictional concepts, but they do describe and say something about who I am. It's just easier to describe this way than with a long description.)
She is completely ignoring who I am. It's like her mind is filtering out what she doesn't like about me. She says I'm her close friend, but she doesn't even like me!
I suppose I shouldn't blame her. It's this either/or thing people have. I'm a good parent and a relatively good person, therefore maybe it doesn't occur to her that I am also villainous. Maybe she does have a problem with me being transgender. Maybe she has so much trouble handling that that her brain literally doesn't register what I'm saying.
But this is not what I consider a quality of a friend. I don't know what to do. If I try talking to her about it, will she just forget again or will I lose a friend? Neither sound like a good outcome to me.
This is not the first time this happened with a friend although it's usually not this obvious. It's like... they see me as all good and then something breaks that illusion and then they see me as all bad. It's like they never see me, they just see black and white illusions. I swear I didn't do anything to encourage this. As I said, I've been honest about myself. I don't want this. I feel invisible and uncared for.
