30 years of denial down under

[Jenny07]

Hi
Hello from Sydney down under. I am a MtF living in denial.
I have been reading the forum for some time now, well over a year reading about everyone elses amazing progress. I read with envy those who have been brave enough to be true to them selves.
I have lived with TG for almost as long as I can remember, from what I can remember about 4 years old. These feeling were so strong even back then that I knew I had to become a woman after seeing a documentary on TV. I ran into trouble when my Mother died when I was 9 as she knew from the start and would have been supportive. I often had dreams that I would wake up and I would be a girl. This seems very similar to most others here and have always dreamt about fully transitioning MTF but never had to courage to even dip my toe in as I did not know how or who to ask.
I said to myself that I would start when I was 30 after getting divorced when I moved to the cross, that was over 10 years ago and much pain.
I have had a few relationships with women over the years and they have always ended due to my intense TG feelings which I was unable to repress and not knowing what to do about them. After loosing my partner in a terrible accident a few years ago, since then I have been unwilling to start a relationship due to my now screaming TG feelings inside which are to the point not much else matters and I see the only way to go is to move forward as the other option is unbearable.
I feel like, no know, that I have a birth defect down below that has to be corrected by going all the way and there is building anticipation of leaving behind the male facade I have had to present for the many years and replace it with my true feminine self.
From reading everyones posts I am looking forward to starting the process to transition as soon as possible and leaving behind years of torture i have had by T and experiencing the switch to E and everything that goes with it as it seems to make amazing differences mentally an physically almost straight away.

Andrew sorry Jenny.

[annette]

Hi Jenny
Greetings from the Northern hemisphere.
Welcome hun, I hope you are feeling at home a little.
Jenny, if you are actually a woman, go see a gendertherapist asap.
It will increase the quality of your life, than you will finally have an identity.
I'm looking forward to read your future posts and progresses.

hugs
Annette

[crazy old bat]

˙ǝɹǝɥ pǝǝu noʎ ʇɹoddns ǝɥʇ puıɟ ןןıʍ noʎ ǝɹns ɯ,ı  ˙s,uɐsns oʇ ǝɯoɔןǝʍ puɐ ıɥ

[barbie]

I feel like, no know, that I have a birth defect down below that has to be corrected by going all the way and there is building anticipation of leaving behind the male facade I have had to present for the many years and replace it with my true feminine self.

Jenny,

Thanks for your introduction and welcome to this community. I have a few Australian friends, but never been there. I hope to visit there very soon.

As you know, there are many kinds of transgender people. In my case, I do not think it is a kind of birth defect. I regard it as a kind of my merit, which can be fused well into society. I do not consider transitioning, and I am just in the boundary of the binary system.

I hope you will enjoy your adventure to your new world.

Barbie~~

[Jamie D]

Hello, Jenny, and welcome from sunny southern California.

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My path has not been so different from yours.  I did not live in denial of my gender issues, but learned ways to cope.  Eventually, however, as I aged, I realized that coping was not sufficient.

I don't know what path this journey is taking me.  But I do know that I am still learning, growing, and enjoying the journey.

[gennee]

Welcome to Susan's, Jenny. It's great that are moving forward to being your authentic self. 

[Devlyn]

Hi Jenny, it's nice to meet you! There seems to be some confusion over the location of da Nile. It's a big river, easily found on a map! Hugs, Devlyn

[caitlin_adams]

Hi Jenny

I too am in Sydney and I'm familiar with support services, medical professionals, etc that could help you work out whether you want to transition or not and, if so, can help you out with that.

Feel free to message me and I can provide you with names and contact details.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Hi Jenny,

Welcome to our little family. Over 7571  strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.


Janet 

[Cindy]

Hi Jenny,

Cindy from Adelaide here, there are several girls, and boys from Sydney at Susan's and I'm sure the invitations will be coming to you thick and fast from them for coffee and catch ups.

We are very fortunate in Australia, most of us have had very few problems in coming out and transitioning and Sydney is in particular very trans friendly.

So pull up a chair, crack a coldie and join in the fun.

Welcome Sis

Cindy

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Jenny,

Another big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. I'm in Sydney most days and if you up to a coffee, lets do something about getting together. There are also several regular TG dinner/lunches in Sydney, if you were up to meeting the community. No rush. Everything in your own time.

As for therapy, the Gender Centre in Petersham can arrange in house or referral counselling as well as a host of other services. You can contact them on 9569 2366 Mon - Fri 9 - 5 but not between 12 & 1.

I'm pleased you have decided to take this enormous step in your journey. It always appears to be the biggest and hardest to do. Having said that, you should find gaining a bit more momentum a little easier now.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you are coping. Your wellbeing and welfare are important to us. Look forward to hearing of your further successes in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[justmeinoz]

Hi and welcome from the Transmania    

It is a big weight  off the shoulders when you take that first step on the road to a a more content life.   As you can see there are a few girls from Sydney here, and good support networks, so you have people to call on in need.  Just knowing there are others in the same boat within reach is good too.

Looking forward to seeing posts from you in the future.

Karen.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Jenny,

As you need 15 posts before you can private message (PM) members here, as you are now in the eastern 'burbs' there is a regular get together at the Paddington Bowling Club every second Thursday night. The next being the 26th.

If you want to join us in whatever mode you prefer, you are most welcome. It will give you a chance to meet some of the other girls and perhaps get a better understanding of yourself.

In the meantime, be safe, well and happy.

Lotsa huggs
Catherine