Gee I wish that was me

[Felecia]

I don't know if it is just plain envy, of wishing that was me or I had that but that;s kind of how I feel.

When I have time and think about the past dating or seeing other women having fun with their girlfriends, being asked out, having boyfriends, the clothes, the body and all the fun and mischief when they were young even.  I just wish, I just wish that had been me.  I would have loved to have been the girl driving the guys crazy with crushes on me.  I would have loved to have been the one trying to figure out what bikini to buy or what dress for the prom.  I would have loved to have gone camping with my girlfriends, vacation, or just hanging out. It would be nice to see a girl staring back at me naked in front of the mirror. I would have loved to just be, to just be a girl. I know a lot of the stuff I write is about the outside appearance, but that is what is wrong with this body.

[Ashley Allison]

Absolute Ditto!

[Constance]

I'm of three minds about this.

There are definitely times when I wish I had been born female. That way, I could have had the right body from the outset.

But at the same time, my male body has served me well. I have 2 awesome adult kids whom I wouldn't have if I'd been born a girl. Maybe I'd have other kids, but they wouldn't be the ones I have now.

However, I also wish that I had been born a cis male. That way, I'd still be married and my family would still be in 1 home instead of 3.

[Sephirah]

"Youth is wasted on the young" ~ George Bernard Shaw.

It can still be you. It's never too late to start making the life you want for yourself. You may not be able to change the past, but you can change the present, and the future.

[peky]

Regrets I have few but then again to few to mention.....LOL

Like Connie, I too would not change a thing ! I am very Happy with my life, the good, the bad, and the ugly. The best is my kids, all of them are still living with me (as always)

I would not like to be anybody male or female. Like I said to my Mom; "Mom, when I grew up I want to be a woman like you," to with my Mom replied: "why?" ; which I quickly replied: "So I can have daughter just like me!" LOL


Seriously though, I was lucky enough that my sisters, females cousins, and female classmates almost always recognized me and accepted me as one of them, so I guess I did not missed any of the the girls socialization's.

[annette]

You are describing my thoughts 35 years ago.
A few years later I could say...it is me.
You can do the same if you wish to.
The girl you admired, could be you.
You can do all those things.
Hugs
Annette

[Michelle G]

I always had thoughts like that!

But in school and in my 20's I could hang out with female friends to go shopping, road trips etc., I was clearly in boy mode of course but I understood them and they liked having me around, it was quite frustrating in my younger mind because I so wanted to be a girl like them, but I did the best I could with the situation. Lots of nice memories at least

[PrincessKnight]

I feel the same way. I'm jealous of young girls too; I keep getting this feeling like I missed out on something great by not being being able to be a girl at that age.

[Felecia]

I know there things I can and can't do, fortunately or unfortunately.  Change the past no, but then again I had good experiences and have loving people in my life because of it.  The present cant be changed or I can start making  changes in the present.  What happens in the future I don't know.  Some things cant be predicted.  But I can make changes hoping that it will all add up to the changes I want.  I know losing some people and loved ones is in the cards for full time transition.  Just a fact of life, of the stats that only a small percentage of relationships stay in tact.  I know that it would make it difficult if out and about dating.  Confused other folks on how they deal with parts of the body that don't match what they like, their sexuality.  Not to mention my dysphoria about my body being touched or using it the way it is at the moment.  What then.  Take a deep breath, take hormones and slowly decide what to do next, looking at the future, not sure of the outcome.  Knowing what I want and even hiding my body from others if need be to have the body I want.  That I should have been born with.

[JoanneB]

"Youth is wasted on the young" ~ George Bernard Shaw.

It can still be you. It's never too late to start making the life you want for yourself. You may not be able to change the past, but you can change the present, and the future.

And, if I may add, you can also change how you look at the past. While it may may seem difficult or impossible to now, I found that over time as I've come to fully accept who I am, I can see many of the accomplishments I achieved and found many things to be proud of when once there was none, only regrets and sadness.

[JulieC.]

I do sometimes think like that but I like the person I am and I like many of the experiences I have had in my life.  It's impossible to say if I would be happier now if I was born a girl.  Sure there are all those wonderful experiences you missed out on but there might have been negative experiences as well.  Everything about your live would be different and maybe it wouldn't have been so great.  It's possible you would still be trans only now you would be wishing you were born a male. 

My only regret is  that I didn't start this transition (whatever that will be in the end) much earlier in my life.  That's the only thing I might change.

[annette]

Well, you know Felicia, everything in life has a price.
Transition is no exception for paying a price, sometimes with broken relationships or family who don't want to see you anymore, believe me, I have been there.
On the other hand...you only got one life and I assume you won't come back after you died.
So, it's very important that one will use the time given on earth well.
A nice start is to be happy in the way you want to be happy, nomatter what others will say about that, after all, it's your life.
Achieve your goals in life hun...go for it.
Hugs

[Elizabeth.Nicole]

Every single day I feel that way. 


If I could do it all over again, I would have started before I  turned 20... way before 20 .
I have wanted to be female as long as I can remember. 

But, there are things that I would have missed out on too, like my kids. 
You can't go back, but try to make the best of each day going forward.

Hugs,
Elizabeth

[nyx]

Being able to live as both is better than one, always..

[Beth Andrea]

I don't know if it is just plain envy, of wishing that was me or I had that but that;s kind of how I feel.

When I have time and think about the past dating or seeing other women having fun with their girlfriends, being asked out, having boyfriends, the clothes, the body and all the fun and mischief when they were young even.  I just wish, I just wish that had been me.  I would have loved to have been the girl driving the guys crazy with crushes on me.  I would have loved to have been the one trying to figure out what bikini to buy or what dress for the prom.  I would have loved to have gone camping with my girlfriends, vacation, or just hanging out. It would be nice to see a girl staring back at me naked in front of the mirror. I would have loved to just be, to just be a girl. I know a lot of the stuff I write is about the outside appearance, but that is what is wrong with this body.

I wish I could of had a life of innocence, like most kids have. But...what's done is done, and I can either look back and dwell on the past, or I can heal from it and move on into the future.

It is what I will make of it. And all those things you wish for, can be yours if you make it so. (Well...except maybe the prom thing.  )

[nyx]

Is it ok to like being a trans girl more than you think youd like being a GG? I enjoy being trans because its not just about being a girl. I wont be backed into being stealth and i dont care if people know im trans as long as i feel good and attractive to myself.

[Constance]

Is it ok to like being a trans girl more than you think youd like being a GG? I enjoy being trans because its not just about being a girl. I wont be backed into being stealth and i dont care if people know im trans as long as i feel good and attractive to myself.

Unless you're intentionally harming others, I think it's okay to be what and who you are. I go back and forth with myself with regards to liking being trans, wishing I'd been born female from the outset, and wishing I'd just been a cis* guy. The way I see it, there are advantages to all three.

[Alicia]

I know this can be hard to understand because there are important details I won't make public. There is a particular issue in my life that I have no control over. With that issue present, me being happier having been born a girl is 95% certain. My therapist agrees there. If that was not going to be a part of my life, my therapist says I'd probably be happiest as a cis-guy, even more than as a girl with that issue. My head says that just might be right, but my heart still yearns for the girl. What Felecia and PrincessKnight said I could've written too.