this person said they chose to become transexual?

[mementomori]

just curious what people here think of this persons reasoning for transitioning

http://sphirex.tumblr.com/

[mementomori]

its page two their story about transitioning

[Jamie D]

Between the years of 15-19 I totally considered myself a gay male; my appearance had nothing to do with the desire to be an anatomical female.  I was very happy to be male and had absolutely no intention to sexually transition.

During my 19th year I got quite involved with a few websites aimed at transsexuals and their admirers... I uncovered a new-found popularity; so so much more than just a popularity conjured by people's intrigue or admiration for my appearance; this popularity was so much more massive than I could ever have imagined and it was totally sexual....

It was around this point where TS had become a word which no longer immediately put me on guard, ready to give justification or explanation, that I decided to begin taking daily Spironolactone (an anti androgen).  My motive was straight-forward.  I simply wanted to halt my body masculinising further... I've never had much facial hair at all, but I knew since I'd turned 19 I wouldn't have long before facial and body hair would become a greater obstacle between me and trying to maintain my feminine appearance.

[Cindy]

Hi mementomori,

Gender identity is very complex and I think this persons life reflects the complexity.

Many of us recommend seeing gender qualified therapists to help us along this difficult path.  Indeed  Sphirex (?) asks many of the questions that good therapists can help us with.

It isn't easy being a person. It is a lot harder when you don't fit into a little niche.

I applaud her for finding ways to cope and I wish her a happy life.

Cindy

[Kitty_Babe]

Like there "was" or "is" a choice, I would of chose not to be for sure. Why would any one say they choose to be Transgendered, its not like you get a cookie if you do say it. Would rather of been born "normal", at least Natal female. Its like some one saying they choose to be gay, to be honest, were people, who have likes and dislikes as anyone else, and have grown up with very complexed feelings and emotions about things, "normal" people are no different, they just don't have the slap in the face from mother nature we got, but they have their own problems too.

Choosing to be some thing is like saying, "I don't have to be" that way, be honest with yourself ? if you choose not to be some thing, is this not repressing your true self ? So by saying "I choose" its like you are saying, you don't really have to be that way in the first place. Its almost in fact like saying, "I have turned gay" I was fine before.. but what ever, I like pink things now, and love dating people of the same gender as me.

I'm rambling, but I think what I was trying to say, is while you can "choose" to be some thing, it doesn't make it so, doesn't mean you are so. You need a lot of discussions anyway with a qualified psychologist/shrink - to see if you are completely mad, or just have delusions about the opposite sex.

[Cindy]

Like there "was" or "is" a choice, I would of chose not to be for sure. Why would any one say they choose to be Transgendered, its not like you get a cookie if you do say it. Would rather of been born "normal", at least Natal female. Its like some one saying they choose to be gay, to be honest, were people, who have likes and dislikes as anyone else, and have grown up with very complexed feelings and emotions about things, "normal" people are no different, they just don't have the slap in the face from mother nature we got, but they have their own problems too.

Choosing to be some thing is like saying, "I don't have to be" that way, be honest with yourself ? if you choose not to be some thing, is this not repressing your true self ? So by saying "I choose" its like you are saying, you don't really have to be that way in the first place. Its almost in fact like saying, "I have turned gay" I was fine before.. but what ever, I like pink things now, and love dating people of the same gender as me.

I'm rambling, but I think what I was trying to say, is while you can "choose" to be some thing, it doesn't make it so, doesn't mean you are so. You need a lot of discussions anyway with a qualified psychologist/shrink - to see if you are completely mad, or just have delusions about the opposite sex.

Kitty_Babe,

I think you put that very well.

In all the discussions that have gone on recently what we go through isn't choice, it is to do with acceptance. Acceptance of ourselves. In light of how other people accept themselves. Yes we are at a dichotomy, should I be male or female, what would I 'prefer',  Since  I'm female it is a damn sight  more difficult for me to say I want to be male, EVEN if my physical structure resembles that of a male and even as far as society is concerned it would be easier for me to be accepted by 'them' as a male. Yes many problems would have disappeared if I pretended to be male. I couldn't. How can I.

I know your answer and you gave a very perceptive post.

Cindy

[sandrauk]

I remember Quentin Crisp saying something like, he had given up sex as he only wanted to have the most manly butch man. But, by definition the fact that they wanted to have sex with him meant that they weren't manly so he didn't bother.

I note that sphirex says she started having sex with straight men (might want to rethink that one) and I guess thats a part of her motivation.

Whatever floats your boat is ok with me and I want her rhinoplasty

[AbraCadabra]

I think it is something (TS), one is or one is not, i.e. cis (none TG/TS) or TS/TG.
It is the same as being gay or not being gay --- the point is... are we going to ACT on it!?

Plenty gay folks choose not to act on being gay, but actually are gay – the same I guess can be said for TS.
It is how much GID is motivating you (gives you hell) to go ahead and transition. In this scenario it still is not really a "choice" unless one decides to transition having no issues with GID...
If THAT (transition for the fun of it) is one's point of departure one better look out for what's in store for the transitioner and get help with a councillor as it be a delusion to think that transition is a cake walk, one can embark on just for the fun of it.
So... transitioning is serious enough stuff that being clear of the implications is a MUST - no one ought to go for it without full well knowing implications. This site is brimming with info on implications! Implications ARE severe, and in my mind no one goes for it by feeling having a real choice...
If you FEEL you do have a CHOICE, no need to act on it ... do not transition. My very best advice.
This has probably been said 1'000'000 and 1 times over and over.

After all one could always argue that there is a choice to jump in front of a train or a bus?!?
It's a choice too - alright. But would you act on it, just like so?


Axélle

[Julie Wilson]

Most interesting eyebrows I think I have ever seen.

I suppose being alive is a choice.  I could always stop eating or stop drinking.  Everything is a choice I guess.

[crazy old bat]

Just another example of how every one of us is not the same as the other and we each have different experiences and reasons for what we do. The way you are reacting to it is why I feel that we shouldn't need to justify ourselves to others with the born this way or always a woman, etc.

[eli77]

No, not everything is a choice. I wasn't able to choose the date of my birth, for example. Or my genetics. Or the environment I grew up in. Or...

Transitioning was certainly a choice. Just because the other choices were horrible doesn't make them magically not exist. Living is absolutely a choice.

Sphirex decided to transition because it would make her happy. I'm not really sure how that's any different from me. (Other than I phrased it as "life more bearable" rather than "happy.") And she probably has a better idea of what's going on inside her head and what's best for her than anyone else does.

There isn't a right or a wrong reason to transition. Just your reason. And you get to live with the consequences.

[Julie Wilson]

The one thing I do know is that other people's choices do not invalidate me.

Even when Society at large might arrive at the conclusion that other people's choices do invalidate me.

That is part of the reason that I avoid "acceptance" at every opportunity.

It's a waste of effort generally speaking and as far as battles go, it's more like a generational feud and I don't have time for schizt like that.

[MariaMx]

All I can say is good for her.

I don't really believe in free will in the ultimate sense, but whether people transition from choice alone is irrelevant to me. There was a time when it was super important to me to be able to explain and justify my transition. I think that was mostly out of fear of making a mistake. I had to convince myself I was doing the right thing. My reasons for transitioning were the usual (GID, born in the wrong body etc), but today years later I could really care less about the reasons why I did this. Though not perfect, my life is a million times better now than it ever was before, and ultimately, that is all that really matters.

[Dahlia]

I remember Quentin Crisp saying something like, he had given up sex as he only wanted to have the most manly butch man. But, by definition the fact that they wanted to have sex with him meant that they weren't manly so he didn't bother.

I note that sphirex says she started having sex with straight men (might want to rethink that one) and I guess thats a part of her motivation.

Whatever floats your boat is ok with me and I want her rhinoplasty

Yes, that's a very funny one :-) All those so called 'butch' straight men who are into MTF aren't so straight....most of 'em are closet tv's/cd's and all of 'em are into dicks but attached to a MTF.

Most of 'em want to switch roles and want to 'play girly' when with a MTF by means of a very strange projection.....'butchness?' That's only in daily, visible life but with a MTF it's....*poof*! Gone!

They'll expect a MTF to be butch in the sack.....lol!

Thinking you'll attract 'butch, straight' men as a MTF will bring a huge disappointment over time.

Those so called 'butch, straight' men are only butch and straight with GG's...since there is no other choice with GG's . But that's an entirely different matter when they are with a MTF.

But then again: some GG's are also very, very unpleasantly surprised and into a huge disappointment when their 'butch, straight' male partner and father to their children turns out to be 'woman' and a lesbian one at that when they're in their late 30'/early 40's.....

Those women simply couldn't remotely know or even suspect their 'butch, straight' man could turn out  a lesbian woman....but MTF can expect something like that when involved with a 'butch, straight guy'

If experienced as a MTF  for at least 3 years with men in general and not  totally naive anymore or even suffering from a realilty disorder that is.

An added 'bonus' for MTF who are only into men: you WILL attract a lot of in or out of the closet tv's/cd's  and MTF who simply won't listen to you if you tell them (repeatly) you're only into masculine men.

Almost all former straight men- lesbian MTF/tv's/cd's and a host of fetishishist are only into women and won't take no for an MTF answer...since they actually think you're into women too.

Like they almost all  are.

They simply don't or won't understand a MTF can be only into men.

[AbraCadabra]

Yes, that's a very funny one :-) All those so called 'butch' straight men who are into MTF aren't so straight....moste of 'em are closet tv's/cd's and all of 'em are into dicks but attached to a MTF.

Most of 'em want to switch roles and want to 'play girly' when with a MTF by means of a very strange projection.....'butchness?' *poof*! Gone!

They'll expect a MTF to be butch in the sack.....lol!

Thinking you'll attract 'butch, straight' men as a MTF will bring a huge disappointment over time.

Those so called 'butch, straight' men are only butch and straight with GG's...since there is no other choice with GG's .

But then again: some GG's are also very, very unpleasantly surprised and into a huge disappointment when their 'butch, straight' male partner and father to their children turns out to be 'woman' and a lesbian at that when they're in their late 30'/early 40's.....

Those women simply couldn't remotely know their 'butch, straight' man could turn out  a lesbian woman....but MTF can expect something like that when involved with a 'butch, straight guy'

If experienced as a MTF  for at least 3 years with men in general and not  totally naive anymore or even suffering from a realilty disorder that is.

An added 'bonus' for MTF who are only into men: you WILL attract a lot of out of the closet tv's/cd's  and MTF who simply won't listen to you if you tell them (repeatly) you're only into masculine men.

Almost all MTF/tv's/cd's and a host of fetishishist are only into women and won't take no for an MTF answer...since they actually think you're into women too.

Like they  are.

Just had to giggle reading this lot... nature seems so full of funny surprises?! Why can ANYONE actually get all hung up about it all, like some (even of us) would do?

Thank you for sharing this snipped of insight,
Axélle

[Dahlia]

Just had to giggle reading this lot... nature seems so full of funny surprises?! Why can ANYONE actually get all hung up about it all, like some (even of us) would do?

Thank you for sharing this snipped of insight,
Axélle

Replace the word 'nature' for 'neurosis' considering this matter ;-)

[mementomori]

Yes, that's a very funny one :-) All those so called 'butch' straight men who are into MTF aren't so straight....most of 'em are closet tv's/cd's and all of 'em are into dicks but attached to a MTF.

Most of 'em want to switch roles and want to 'play girly' when with a MTF by means of a very strange projection.....'butchness?' That's only in daily, visible life but with a MTF it's....*poof*! Gone!

They'll expect a MTF to be butch in the sack.....lol!

Thinking you'll attract 'butch, straight' men as a MTF will bring a huge disappointment over time.

Those so called 'butch, straight' men are only butch and straight with GG's...since there is no other choice with GG's . But that's an entirely different matter when they are with a MTF.

But then again: some GG's are also very, very unpleasantly surprised and into a huge disappointment when their 'butch, straight' male partner and father to their children turns out to be 'woman' and a lesbian one at that when they're in their late 30'/early 40's.....

Those women simply couldn't remotely know or even suspect their 'butch, straight' man could turn out  a lesbian woman....but MTF can expect something like that when involved with a 'butch, straight guy'

If experienced as a MTF  for at least 3 years with men in general and not  totally naive anymore or even suffering from a realilty disorder that is.

An added 'bonus' for MTF who are only into men: you WILL attract a lot of in or out of the closet tv's/cd's  and MTF who simply won't listen to you if you tell them (repeatly) you're only into masculine men.

Almost all former straight men- lesbian MTF/tv's/cd's and a host of fetishishist are only into women and won't take no for an MTF answer...since they actually think you're into women too.

Like they almost all  are.

They simply don't or won't understand a MTF can be only into men.

butch in the sack?  i dont really think a man bottoming means he is playing a " feminine role "  a guy can be really butch and enjoy being the bottom and a top can be feminine . it isnt that simple

[AbraCadabra]

Replace the word 'nature' for 'neurosis' considering this matter ;-)

Come to think of it... sex seems full of the "neurotic" ; Butch bottoms, femme tops, I just recall at best I mostly, simply enjoyed. Neurotic, nature, experimental, nosy, or whatever we'd like to call it. Then 'choosing' to be TS as I having been accused of going for the ultimate challenge, go figure.
It's actually more sad than funny, still is.
If I'd have chosen suicide they'd have something to say like: "We always could tell...", quite certain.

Axélle

[UCBerkeleyPostop]

"Bottom" and "top" are gay male constructs which, to me, are completely irrelevant.

[=celestica=]

"Bottom" and "top" are gay male constructs which, to me, are completely irrelevant.

We have dicks, ladies.
We can top or bottom.

Unless you had SRS then why are you even apart of this lolol.