I'm kinda stuck..?

[BruceWayne12]

So I'm a teenager and obviously living with my parents, and I would really appreciate some input as to whether or not it might be a good idea to come out or not. I realize that nobody knows my family better than I do, but honestly I have very little idea as to how they might take it. They know that I like girls and that I've had a girlfriend for the past 3 years, although I am not allowed to see her because both of our parents are beyond conservative. Having come out as "gay" to them has been a disaster and has put me through a lot. I have never been close with either of my parents in the first place, so I'm not even sure how I would go about telling them. I know that they won't take me seriously, but I feel that the sooner they know, the sooner they can come to terms with it. Although they will surely give me hell, I'm sure that I won't be in danger of being kicked out. I hardly see them, and although tensions would be high, it would only make a difference in the little time I am in their presence. They often make fun of me for being "gay" and for how I dress (I've dressed in guys clothes since I was able to, I've bought my own clothes since I was 11); I'm not sure if them knowing will make them feel better knowing that there is a reason`behind it, or if they will think even worse of me.

I've decided to come out to my older brother first; he was pretty supportive of me being interested in girls (he doesn't like my girlfriend, but I think that's just in an older-brother-protectiveness sort of way). I'm not very close to him but I think he is the best family member to tell first. I'm just worried because he seems to like the idea of having a younger "sister" and although I know he will be very unhappy with the situation/not take me seriously, I'm hoping that it will at least grow on him. I guess what I'm looking for is advice on when and how (based on what I've said) you guys think would be the best option for coming out. I would also like to know if anybody has any advice with coming out to a younger kid? My little brother has known me as more of a guy before anyone else, so because of this he is one of the main people I feel should know soonish, but I'm afraid that he will not understand (he's 11).

Sorry that this is so long, I'm just looking for some advice. I really wish I could get a gender therapist soon (a major reason why I would like to come out) but my parents are really against therapy of any kind. I know that I'm young still but I can't stand feeling this way and not being able to do anything about it. I'm not even allowed to cut my hair because my parents are too embarrassed to be seen in public with me looking like anything less than a slut. Thanks to anyone who responds!!!!

Edited for age

[Aaron :D]

Hey there Bruce, I'm a minor and you posted this a few days back so I don't know whether you care for my imput but I want to try and help you anyway, without sounding disrespectful .

I too know how it feels to know who you are and have to keep it from most of the world. I have a supportive family but am struggling to decide whether or not to come out while I am still in high school.

But anyways back to you! I think that you should come out, because I know how it feels to put on an act just to keep everyone else happy and it really is emotionally and physically tiring. Sorry if I'm writing like a snob  . But seriously if you want to change your life for the better there is only one person stopping you really, yourself. How I think about it is if I hadn't atleast told my parents or friends who I am I could have died the next day and nobody would truly understand who I was. Sorry if that is over the top but it is kinda true.

Also no offence but your family sound awful and totally uneducated in this matter. It upsets me to know that some families judge their siblings based on something that they can't control  .

Maybe this rambling has helped you even a little bit?  sorry if I just wasted your time man.

[BruceWayne12]

Hey man! Thanks for the reply, it means a lot! Give yourself more credit, it's very helpful hearing of someone in a similar situation as me :p I agree a lot on what your saying, I guess the emotional toll is a lot worse than the risk of coming out. I might test the waters by telling my siblings and seeing what they think, my parents scare the crap out of me haha o.o Thanks for your input, if you want to talk you can PM me and maybe we can help each other out :p

[Hikari]

I am not sure how your family dynamic works, but in most I have seen telling a sibling will eventually lead to disclosure to parents at thier hands. My brother could keep a secret for maybe two months, then when he was mad at me for something he would tell on me.

In any case it might be a terrible thing to tell your parents or it might not, at least a few conservative people have been very happy that thier child has a medical condition called GID and is therfore hetrosexual from a point of view. Iran somehow comes to mind when i say that, but really some people are part of the anything but gay camp.

Only you can really know what is best for you. Good luck.