How can I be more sympathetic towards my wife?

[Nikki59s~Girl]

Hello again I am sorry I haven't been online in a while I have been working lots of over time. Anyways there has been times recently that Nikki has said something to me and I am technically not sure on how to act or what I should say. This all started at her job training which is now over any ways she sent me a text saying that she was walking to the lunch room and said this one girl gave her a really bad dirty look like as she was grossed out by Nikki. She was really hurt and depressed by that. Also yesterday Nikki and I went to a store so she could try on some shoes to see if they fit any ways this security guy who walks the floor I forget what they call him came really close by Nikki and said hi. There were a lot of other people in the same isle but he only came by us. Nikki took  that the wrong way.

Another issue I am having is Nikki can not find women's shoes size 12 anywhere and its making her very depressed also women's clothes that are plus sized. There have been times where she says that shes way to tall to be passable or she says that she's afraid to now go through with this because technically she kind of is living as full time just doesn't wear make up to work.
Now I am proud of her and she has progressed a lot I just wish that I can actually be there for her more like give her advice and help cheer her up when she has an issue like this.

[Jennifer.L]

Oh honey /hugs.   Just treat her like a girl.  It's always gonna be the right call to treat her like any other girl, you know ask you self what you would think if a friend was feeling like shes feeling.


  Cloths shopping is always complicated for a girl!  And well if your not a ->-bleeped-<-ing twig it's doubley hard.  I'm a fan of Ross.  She should find things that fit there.

Shoes, may jsut be easier to order?

[jamied]

As far as shoes, check on line at barefoottess.com they specialize in woman's shoe sizes 12 and above (I'm a13 myself).

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Lane Bryant, Macy's and Nordstrom's for plus sizes.

As for the security guard.  Maybe he found her cute.

[Nikki59s~Girl]

We've tried ross and they never have her size. Like I love her so much and as time goes by I'm fallling even more inlove with her. Like it makes me want to cry not being able to ever find clothes her size that actually fit her very well. I just wish there's more I can do for her. Also she keeps getting sad that I'm losing weight and half of my clothes do not fit anymore and well I'm not trying to lose weight on purpose. She's my queen I just really want to make her happy at times I feel as if she deserves so much more than I can give and that she deserves better.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Have you tried on-line?  I don't really like to shop on-line, I would rather shop in a store.

[Brooke777]

Fashion bug has a lot of plus size clothes that are cute. My wife shops there and she is a 20-22.  There are also quite a few specialty stores that cater to the tall and plus women. There should be some in your area. For shoes, Payless. I know a few women with large feet that shop there. They also have wide shoes which might fit her better too. 

[JoanneB]

I am or was a size 12. Laine Bryant and/or Fashion are fairly good on shoes at a reasonable price. I don't understand the marketing but it seems that after size 10, shoes only come in ugly or butt ugly. Often with 4"plus heels. Unless you want to spend more than $75

[snowboarderchic]

Payless is great and they carry size 12, and in some stores even 13. Its hit or miss though, so I go often to get the cute shoes I like! I'm a 12 BTW.
Maurices is a great store and they carry a Plus line of clothing. They have great casual wear, and their professional attire is spot on! AND they carry long sizes!!!
I know express carries up to size 14, although they are a little pricey, you can get great coupons online though!

As for the insecurities, for all you and your wife know the security guard is an a closet x-dresser, or transman and just wanted to talk or say hello. I've also learned that people are genuinely curious when they see me, and they really have no ill intention towards us, they just don't know HOW or what to say.
We all, even non-trans people, go though stages of development. Going through puberty as your wanted gender is tough. Going through puberty towards your goal gender entails the same process.

It just takes time. I know sounds easy, but its really important to remember.

Wishing you all the Best!