I finally get it

[andrealmd]

I know I don't post often here but I just wanted to see what you girls think about feeling like a girl trapped in a boys body. Since April I have been transitioning, working on it slowly, practicing makeup, voice, mannerisms , dressing when I was alone or with close friends. But recently I have been feeling very depressed at work, and I finally got it, I feel like I am trapped as a boy when I am there. I am working on going full time soon but I am not out there yet and it is getting tiring and depressing but I am not read to go full time yet. Up until now I have always been confused by the statement of being a girl trapped in a boys body, I never felt that way I always felt like I was a boy who was suppose to be a girl, but then just today I got it, like gears slipping into place I am a girl trapped in a boys body, I get the feeling now.

[Beth Andrea]

Congratulations! It's only a matter of time now...

For myself, when I was ready to go FT, it only took 2-3 weeks from coming out at work, to changing my name. (I'd been on HRT for about 3 months at that point) When you're ready...you're ready.

Good luck!

[Alainaluvsu]

Sounds like you're ready. I hope things happen well for you. If it was meant to happen, they will fall into place

I know when I went full time there was no stopping it (even if I would've tried). It was almost like fate. Meant to happen!

[MadelineB]

I know I don't post often here but I just wanted to see what you girls think about feeling like a girl trapped in a boys body. Since April I have been transitioning, working on it slowly, practicing makeup, voice, mannerisms , dressing when I was alone or with close friends. But recently I have been feeling very depressed at work, and I finally got it, I feel like I am trapped as a boy when I am there. I am working on going full time soon but I am not out there yet and it is getting tiring and depressing but I am not read to go full time yet. Up until now I have always been confused by the statement of being a girl trapped in a boys body, I never felt that way I always felt like I was a boy who was suppose to be a girl, but then just today I got it, like gears slipping into place I am a girl trapped in a boys body, I get the feeling now.

Sounds like you had a real breakthrough. I'm sorry that it comes with pain, but that's what happens when it stops being in our head and moves down to our heart. Thank you for sharing. I experienced the same feelings you describe, until I couldn't stand to be "male" at work any more.

A lot of the early writing about transgender issues was done by health professionals who controlled who could get access to gender affirmation surgeries. Because the people who came to them were in enough discomfort about their bodies to find the center that could give them what they needed, and they were willing to do whatever was necessary to be able to get the surgery, the focus of the experts was on gender dysphoria about the body. Nothing wrong with that - so many of us do need body modifications and they can be life saving!

But all that emphasis on body dysphoria can make us ignore the equally valid gender dysphoria that is about our personal gender expression, and how living in the wrong gender in society can make us feel isolated and trapped in the gender roles or gender masks we put on to get by.

Some of us suffer from both kinds of dysphoria ( I do ) but for others of us one or the other is much stronger, and that's where the focus of transition will be.

That's where a lot of the wonderful variety in the transgender experience comes from, and why every person's journey is unique.

[justmeinoz]

Hearing the penny drop is a nice sound, at least you can see an end to confusion.   
Now you are a warrior woman, you can ignore the things that don't matter and focus on your target.
Good hunting!

[andrealmd]

Thank You all *HUGS*, I am starting to feel ready to go full time. I went to HR yesterday at my work and told them I am transitioning, they were OK with it but a little wary. They want to take everyone aside and explain the situation to them, and they also requested I use the Accessible Washroom, which I use anyway and I agreed, I am excited but also kinda nervous.

[MadelineB]

Thank You all *HUGS*, I am starting to feel ready to go full time. I went to HR yesterday at my work and told them I am transitioning, they were OK with it but a little wary. They want to take everyone aside and explain the situation to them, and they also requested I use the Accessible Washroom, which I use anyway and I agreed, I am excited but also kinda nervous.

CONGRATULATIONS!  That is so exciting! Believe me, there is nothing like the feeling when you can be yourself in every way every moment of every day.

If you like, I can share my experiences with coming out at work - with HR coordination - and going full time the next day, and the hand out I made to help my coworkers to not feel awkward or uncomfortable about interacting with the new me. It went very smoothly and HR has decided to use me as a template for future transitions.

[Cody Jensen]

I know I don't post often here but I just wanted to see what you girls think about feeling like a girl trapped in a boys body. Since April I have been transitioning, working on it slowly, practicing makeup, voice, mannerisms , dressing when I was alone or with close friends. But recently I have been feeling very depressed at work, and I finally got it, I feel like I am trapped as a boy when I am there. I am working on going full time soon but I am not out there yet and it is getting tiring and depressing but I am not read to go full time yet. Up until now I have always been confused by the statement of being a girl trapped in a boys body, I never felt that way I always felt like I was a boy who was suppose to be a girl, but then just today I got it, like gears slipping into place I am a girl trapped in a boys body, I get the feeling now.

I am jealous. So jealous. I wish I could just "get" who I am... I feel so torn between being a boy and being a girl, but I don't like the feeling of being trapped in a female body, I just.. argh! I wish I knew. I am not 100% sure I am trans. But... I. Don't. Know. Anyways, congrats on finding out who you are 

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi andrealmd

I never really subscribed to that theory of a a girl trapped in a boys body. I've never really felt I was ever a proper boy. I just had to learn how to 'act' as one. Which I failed at miserably.

From my end of the spectrum I've always associated my male presentation as a birth defect. A prolapse of the genitalia so to speak. Whats outside, really belongs inside. And an operation is going to prove that correct.

As I said, that's from my end of the spectrum, which is a very diverse spectrum that I have the greatest respect for. I can understand how people experience those feelings.

Be safe, well and happy.

Lotsa huggs
Catherine