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Favorite lines by people who "just don't get it"

Started by Beth Andrea, July 28, 2012, 02:50:01 AM

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Joe.

I've had several recently from my parents:
This will f*** you up more than you already are.
People will think you're a freak even more.
This isn't really what you want.
I'll never accept it.
You're a girl, deal with it.
You didn't show any signs before.
You should be happy the way you were made.
What's wrong with being a girl?
This is an image thing.
You need to learn to love yourself.
Nobody will ever love you if you're half and half.
You haven't thought about this.

Joey
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Noyemi K

Some people seem to think it's a phase. I actually used to think that way, until it turned out I just started thinking about it more and more and eventually became very depressed.

They'll talk like you aren't totally aware of your own desires and problems; even a child has a basic sense of identity. It's a pretty common one, but arguing genetics is always a gold standard for people who don't get it.
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Elspeth

Quote from: Joey4 on January 15, 2013, 06:14:39 PM
I've had several recently from my parents:
This will f*** you up more than you already are.
People will think you're a freak even more.
This isn't really what you want.
...
You need to learn to love yourself.
Nobody will ever love you if you're half and half.
You haven't thought about this.

Joey

Oh my! No one has ever said any of these things before! </snark>

At least they haven't come up with any thing original.
"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future."
- Sonmi-451 in Cloud Atlas
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MadelineB

A wonderful young woman I care about heard these from the father she loves this week (I paraphrase):

"SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY"

I thought we already talked about this (transition) and the answer was No.

I thought you changed your mind when you started seeing a girl- don't you like her?

There is nothing wrong with you. You are just confused because those people online are filling your head with lies.

Changing is not the answer. It will hurt you more than it will help you.

Your so called friends are hurting you by encouraging you to believe this stuff.

Pray to God and he will reveal his plan to you.

God knew what he was doing when he made you a man.

You aren't seeing the big picture.

You will always be my son.

My heart goes out to my friend, but I am so amazed at her strength and her personal progress, even without family support. It isn't easy being young and trans* in the deep south, or anywhere for that matter.


History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.
~Maya Angelou

Personal Blog: Madeline's B-Hive
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Edge

It is frustrating dealing with people who call themselves allies and then say offensive things. Then they get all mad when I and/or others say it makes us feel uncomfortable and retort that we should be grateful we even have allies.
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Elspeth

Quote from: Edge on January 17, 2013, 09:15:46 AM
It is frustrating dealing with people who call themselves allies and then say offensive things. Then they get all mad when I and/or others say it makes us feel uncomfortable and retort that we should be grateful we even have allies.

This doesn't sound like an ally. It sounds like the emotional abuse of a pimp.
"Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others. Past and present. And by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future."
- Sonmi-451 in Cloud Atlas
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Beth Andrea

Quote...being transgender isn't an issue. You weren't diagnosed with it. You chose that lifestyle because you think you'll fit in with them...

--my daughter
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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Beth Andrea

Quote from: Edge on January 17, 2013, 09:15:46 AM
It is frustrating dealing with people who call themselves allies and then say offensive things. Then they get all mad when I and/or others say it makes us feel uncomfortable and retort that we should be grateful we even have allies.

With friends allies like that...
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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Felix

Beth I don't see why a diagnosis would matter ("...being transgender isn't an issue. You weren't diagnosed with it."). I don't know anyone who was unsure and then knew because a doctor or therapist told them. That doesn't even make sense. Especially as the medical community is changing so fast in their regard for us.

But then I could get all grrr about a lot of the responses in this thread. My gosh people are difficult. And mean. And unthinking. Even really sweet people can get pretty cruel when it comes to gender and sexuality. It's confusing.
everybody's house is haunted
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Padma

#269
People grasp at straws, and one of them is "If a doctor hasn't handed down a diagnosis from on high, then what you have isn't real... phew, I can pretend it's not happening." ::)
Womandrogyne™
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Beth Andrea

Quote from: Felix on January 17, 2013, 10:32:26 PM
Beth I don't see why a diagnosis would matter ("...being transgender isn't an issue. You weren't diagnosed with it."). I don't know anyone who was unsure and then knew because a doctor or therapist told them. That doesn't even make sense. Especially as the medical community is changing so fast in their regard for us.

But then I could get all grrr about a lot of the responses in this thread. My gosh people are difficult. And mean. And unthinking. Even really sweet people can get pretty cruel when it comes to gender and sexuality. It's confusing.

She's like her mom...if a doctor says so, then BY GOLLY it's a fact. otoh, if a dr did NOT say so, then it's all in your head.
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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Alex_K

To be honest, I'm more worried of what people say behind my back. If someone has a problem and tells me, at least I have the oportunity to argue...!
"There is an ocean in my soul where the waters do not curve".
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suzifrommd

Quote from: Padma on January 17, 2013, 10:40:22 PM
People grasp at straws, and one of them is "If a doctor hasn't handed down a diagnosis from on high, then what you have isn't real... phew, I can pretend it's not happening." ::)

It's the old "tree falls in the forest" thing. If a woman realizes she's transgender and there's no psychologist around, then she's really still a man?
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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Edge

This is probably whiny, but...
No, I don't want my only option for a bathroom to be in a building separate from where all my classes are and that I rarely have cause to go to. Other students don't have to. Is that whiny?
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suzifrommd

Quote from: Edge on January 18, 2013, 05:52:13 PM
Is that whiny?

Not at all.

Cis people don't understand the bathroom issues until we make them understand. It doesn't sound like a big deal to have to go way out of your way to pee unless you're the one who has to do it.

There might be laws in your part of the world that protect the right to use the correct rest room.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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ford

Quote from: Beth Andrea on January 17, 2013, 10:52:43 PM
if a doctor says so, then BY GOLLY it's a fact. otoh, if a dr did NOT say so, then it's all in your head.

That's sort of my husband's line. He's humoring me, but has pretty much said that he's taking my 'coming out' with a grain of salt until the experts have weighed in...
"Hey you, sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is!"
~Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
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Brooke777

Quote from: Edge on January 18, 2013, 05:52:13 PM
Is that whiny?

Not at all. My employer tried to do that. It didn't work out too well for them.  >:-)
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AlexD

You'll never be a real man because you never had the experience of growing up as a boy.

You'll never be a real man because you'll never know what it's like to have itchy balls.

You just have exaggerated misconceptions about how hard life is for girls and you need to get over it.

You'll have an awful, miserable life as a transsexual.

You'll only ever be able to date other transsexuals; no real woman would ever want to date you.

I don't understand why you don't just take pills to deal with your periods. You don't need a hysterectomy.

You're out of luck, anyway, because no doctor would ever remove a healthy uterus.

You're not transgender because you don't automatically create male characters when you play videogames.

You're not transgender because you're not into sports and cars or other manly things.

You're not transgender because you told me once that you felt like a girl when you were a child.

Just because you're not a silly airhead doesn't mean you're not a girl! I'm not like that, and I'm fine with being a woman! You just need to spend more time around smart, sensible women instead of people like your sister.

I've always felt that I was really a man. I expected to grow up into a man, and I'm always a man in my dreams. Oh, but I'm not trans, because I'm not attracted to girls.
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Beth Andrea

Quote from: Edge on January 18, 2013, 05:52:13 PM
This is probably whiny, but...
No, I don't want my only option for a bathroom to be in a building separate from where all my classes are and that I rarely have cause to go to. Other students don't have to. Is that whiny?

I was offered the use of a "unisex" bathroom...i appreciate the thought, but don't want something that could become known as "the ->-bleeped-<-" baffroom.

I'm a woman, dammit. Not a unisex.
...I think for most of us it is a futile effort to try and put this genie back in the bottle once she has tasted freedom...

--read in a Tessa James post 1/16/2017
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Kevin Peña

Apparently, I can't be a woman if I disagree with most of what American feminists say.  ???
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