Favorite lines by people who "just don't get it"

[Beth Andrea]

Lately, I've run into more than a few people who seem to want to know more about being trans, but after I spend a few minutes talking to them, they say things like...

"But...don't you want to go to heaven?"

"I know some people think they're trans...but I don't believe in it."

"Well, that's between you and God."

"You should read the Bible about what God says about being trans."

"Are you gay?"

"I've heard people like you have dual sex organs."

"You're pretty flamboyant."  (I am, but the tone was "I wish you'd not wear things that upset me.")

"I've heard other people talk about you...it wasn't very complimentary." (Meant to give me an insecurity complex...LOL I didn't bite)

"What does your wife/mother/partner think about this?"




Feel free to add your fav lines that make you want to groan, cry, or just b!tch-slap the person...

[Snowpaw]

"You will still be a guy no matter what"

I still get that one from time to time.

[Beth Andrea]

One more:

"I wish you'd become a Christian, and stay being a man."  (She really, really didn't get it.  )

Sometimes it's like I'm talking to a wall.

[Cindy]

I fully support you, but don't you think you'll have problems dealing with people on committees (at work)?

One of the funny things about that comment is that it was made by one of my managers, I'm his boss BTW, he also has a particular style of dealing with female employees, a sort of helpful and supportive but I'm a guy so I will help you girls get it right attitude, not particularly sexist but 'superior' . He has now started the same attitude with me, "Do you need some help filling out those documents?"  "If you like I can check what you have done". I'm finding it hilarious; acceptance by sexism .

[Alexis]

I fully support you, but

I hate those 5 words.

No, no you clearly don't if you start any sentence with that, no matter what comes after

ugh, some people...

[Padma]

I can't quote anything specific, but the worst I've had so far has been from a good friend who's polluted by 80's feminist conditioning - she's so full of assumptions about why I'm transitioning and what I want, it's like wading through cooked spinach*.

I'm really, really tired of hearing people "tell" me that I didn't grow up as a woman, so I didn't have the same experiences. Like I don't know that already. They always go on about the oppression, and I always counter by pointing out that from where I'm standing, growing up as a woman is a "privilege" I was denied, whilst at the same time being denied the "privilege" of growing up as a man who was accepted as such.

Honestly, why do people assume we haven't spent a lifetime thinking this through?

Okay, I'm over it now .

*on reading this back, I realise this sounds a bit insane . But I meant how spinach is thready, and clings to stuff when you're trying to get it off.

[V M]

One more:

"I wish you'd become a Christian, and stay being a man."  (She really, really didn't get it.  )

Sometimes it's like I'm talking to a wall.

I often think I'd be better off talking to the refrigerator    I at least can open the fridge and usually find something comforting to digest

[Beth Andrea]

I often think I'd be better off talking to the refrigerator    I at least can open the fridge and usually find something comforting to digest

Yes, and at least the fridge has a light on inside...

[Cindy]

I hate those 5 words.

No, no you clearly don't if you start any sentence with that, no matter what comes after

ugh, some people...

I totally agree. In contrast to another male employee; his response was, " I've known you have been so depressed sometimes, you poor woman growing up through that. Can I give you a hug" 'Thank you so much for coming out to me, if I an ever be of any help I demand you let me know"

One has my respect. One doesn't

[King Malachite]

I haven't began my transition yet but I have ran into a few of these already after coming out.

"God doesn't make mistakes."  I hate this one.

"You are a woman./You will always be a woman to me."

"I can tell you for FACT that you aren't transgender."

"No, your not a transsexual."

"You aren't transgender.  I changed your diaper so I know."

"I know tons of people of my work "like that" my girlfriend's niece is "like that" and she's pregnant.  My brother was "like that".  As a matter of fact there goes one "like that" walking out of the store now."

"That is a waste of money.  Just skip it and get it out of your mind and move to the next thing."

"You don't need therapy.  Just work this out yourself."

"Well you know the consequences."

"Well there are times that I am totally not happy with myself either.  Should I go out and have sex just because I'm battling in my flesh?"

"You should just be happy with yourself."

"See you are focusing on what you want when you should be focusing on God.  Pray to him and let him come into your life and when that happens you will know because tears will flow from your eyes."

"Before you focus on top surgery you need to get therapy.  You are already on step 12."   Actually this one is the truth lol

[Beth Andrea]

"God doesn't make mistakes."  I hate this one.

Oh yeah, I've heard this one...my response was "There are people who are born without feet...would they be offending God if they asked a doctor to provide them with prosthetic feet?"

"Well, no, but that's different."

I try to keep the conversation to a minimum, because either a person supports us already, or they don't. I really don't think any length of conversation will persuade 99% of the "don'ts" to be on our side.

imho

[Padma]

I find it's way better to say to people "What makes you think that, then?" than to try and tell them "It's not like that, it's like this!!!" People often assume they're the only one with a right to question, I like to throw it back in their court. And sometimes, they end up realising they have no basis for their assumptions.

[Cindy]

I do remember one of the television Doctors  responding to a MtF by saying. "Don't be so silly, take a cold shower and join a football team and play male sports'

Top of his profession that one.

[Padma]

Patronising is a great male sport .

[Keaira]

"I don't believe for a minute you are transgendered, you're too much of a nerd, and were my idol in that respect, and you were a hard core gun guy."

That came right out of my brother-in-law's mouth the day my mother-in-law passed away.
Sounds kind of sexist to me really.

[Nicolette]

Lately, I've run into more than a few people who seem to want to know more about being trans, but after I spend a few minutes talking to them, they say things like..

Depressing and bizarre. They sound as infantile and puerile as primary school kids. I'm as atheist as they come, so all that heaven/god stuff is as meaningful as Santa striking me off his her Xmas list. Wow.

[Dahlia]

"What does your wife//partner think about this?"

That's not a strange or rude question....not at all.
It's an acknowledgement that she exists too and has her own personality, choice over matters, her own opinion, her own sexuality, her own emotions her own sexual ID  etc. too...like she should have.

[Bexi]

Do all of you live in Bible camps? 

"I know tons of people of my work "like that" my girlfriend's niece is "like that" and she's pregnant.  My brother was "like that".  As a matter of fact there goes one "like that" walking out of the store now."

I hate that term!

The one I hear a lot is,

"Its a phase"

Erm ... sorry to disappoint ... its not a 'phase', I won't "grow out of it"!
x 

[MariaMx]

"Why have you lied to me about who you really were all these years? Admit you are a deceptive liar!"

[Edge]

Silence followed by continuously referring to me as a woman.

"Why does it matter?" and "What you are doesn't matter."
"Well, I feel like I'm supposed to be skinny." (So not the same thing.)
Claiming to be accepting, then continuously referring to me as female while making a big deal about how what I am doesn't matter when I refer to myself as a guy.

"You're not doing this because you feel there are obstacles you can't surpass as a woman are you?" This was from my mother and prompted me to ask, "Have you met me?"

From a gender therapist:
"You shouldn't think about transition." (Who was he to tell me what to think about?)
"Why are you so negative?" (This was after continuously telling me what I shouldn't be thinking and I was understandably pissed.)
"Can't you just be a tomboy or a butch lesbian?"
"FtMs are only attracted to women."

Talking about how all the credit of parenting should be given to mothers when I'm right there. Trash talking men when I'm right there. (Although admittedly, I will too, I understand where they're coming from, and they don't mean me.)