Swimming rage

[Dante]

So my parents invited me to go to their gym to swim with them (I used a guest pass), and it was hot so I decided to go.

I put on my swim trunks, an old binder (which is uncomfortable and doesn't bind very well at all anymore), and a T-shirt. I already felt uncomfortable because I could see my chest. Then my parents inform me I'll have to change in the locker room, because they don't want me to get their car wet.

So after swimming, I go back into the freakin' women's locker room to change, finding that the only private area is a tiny bathroom stall. I'm already in a bad mood, so I lock myself in there to get dressed.

And I nearly killed myself trying to get my binder back on. I have never had to put so much strength into anything in my life. I pulled on it, and I'm about ready to scream from frustration, and I can't hardly breathe, and I can feel a panic attack coming on. I'm basically flipping my ->-bleeped-<- in there, and making all kinds of racket.

But seriously, WHAT THE HELL. I have to go through all this ->-bleeped-<- to put the thing on because my stupid parents won't let me get their car slightly damp. I couldn't just go home and wait until I'm all the way dry and then try to put damn thing on. Of course not. And then my parents have the audacity to suggest I just go with a T-shirt (i.e. no undergarments; they don't know I wear a binder and couldn't understand just how difficult a time I was having). At just the idea of that, I felt quite sick, but they still didn't get it.

And now I'm going back to the pool again today, and I have no idea what to do. I don't want to try putting on the binder again, and the other binder will be soaking wet, and I will have a panic attack if I wear a sports bra or go without undergarments of any kind. WHAT THE HELL DO I DO HERE? This just pisses me off to no end, that I can't even do something as simple as swimming easily.

And of course there's the whole thing that most public pools don't allow you to wear t-shirts in the water, and I have no suitable alternative. I mean WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET A BREAK AROUND HERE?! Ugh. 

tl;dr - swimming sucks for trans guys. 

[suzifrommd]

Dante, sounds like that experience was physically and emotionally uncomfortable.

Personally I hate changing in bathroom stalls, even with nothing to hide.

You have a right to ask your parents to consider your comfort, and you have right to be heard when you tell them about what it is like to be a Trans male in a female body. By being people who love you, they owe it to you to listen.

They may not see it that way, but it helps to know what you have a right to expect. If you keep trying to educate them, you may find it pays off after awhile.

Good luck.

[Dante]

Thank you for reading.

I hope I can get the point through to them at some point, but they have a bad habit of writing off my feelings and problems as teenage drama. It makes it very difficult to communicate my needs with them. 

[cindianna_jones]

Every inconvenience you overcome is another notch marked towards full transition. You'll figure something out.

[Jeatyn]

Have you tried a different binder? It sounds like you have one that you pull over your head....I can't even imagine trying to put one of those on while damp from swimming, I can massively understand the frustration. One with a zipper or velcro would make the whole process much quicker and easier and maybe take some of the anxiety out.

[Dante]

The one that I have is a pullover, so I have to step into it and pull it up. The one I swim in is a velcro close. If I could afford it, I would buy another velcro closing binder for swimming and after showers and stuff like that, but I can't. 

I found a temporary solution for their gym (although my pass has run out now, so it doesn't really matter now); the locker room has a swimsuit dryer, so I would take off the wet one, wrap about fifty towels around myself, run out, dry it, and then run back and put the same binder on. That was horrendously uncomfortable, but at least I was able to get dressed with at least a little bit of binding on my chest.