...it has been stripped away by my experiences the last few weeks while in alcohol and drug recovery.
Today, after attending three women only recovery groups, with one mixed group sandwiched in, I mentioned to one of the other recovering women that I am finding more and more that I don't identify with struggles that men encounter in their recovery and that the challenges that women face are completely different than those faced by men. I also mentioned a comment that a guy made pertaining to me that seemed irrelevant, I re-iterated the feelings I was trying to convey. My friend said "they" meaning men in general don't even begin to understand ANY of that. I said, "Oh yeah" like oh stupid me, I should know that! Well, I have always KNOWN THAT but I never had this much opportunity for other women to confirm it.
As awful as it is to have wasted much of my life using drugs and alcohol, in a way, my addiction is turning into a blessing as I would have never experienced sharing in this sisterhood otherwise. And I find it amazing to find how the struggles of female addicts and alcoholics mirror our struggles as transwomen.
As I have surrendered my inabilty to deal with my addiction to my Higher Power and I am beginning to surrender my struggles to this Power as well. I am less and less worrying about what people think and just being proud of what I am, especially my spiritual self. I know now without any equivocation that I am a woman. I also know that I can't change what people think. All I can do is present myslef in the manner which pleases me and to hell with the rest!
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
