Hi Shannon and everyone!
It's been awhile since I posted so here's what's happening as I am about to hit month 10.
First off, here is month 1 vs. month 10
Here are some photos from the past month...
The biggest news is that on Oct 3rd, I have my court date to legally become Sarah! It seems like that road has been a loooooong one. And I finally had my first negative effect from HRT. I noticed in May that my hair was starting to come out by the handfuls. Twice a day when brushing my hair, the sink would fill up with hundreds of strands. Needless to say, I freaked out and saw both my endo and my dermatologist. I was diagnosed with Telogen Effluvium. It turns out, 85% of your hair is always in the growth stage while 10% is always sheading and the remainder is moving from one stage to the other. In my instance, the cycles have reversed. I am losing 85% of my hair while I will retain 10%! Though it may not look like it from the photos, I have lost so much hair on a daily basis that today, it is 1/4 of the thickness it was just 3 months ago. This happens to people after a sudden shock to the system. It happens to people months after a major accident, surgery, child birth etc... both doctors told me that the changes estrogen has made to my body was more than enough to "shock" it and create this outcome. I can't stop it and have to let it run its course. The good news is that is should be temporary and I should fully restore to my normal thickness within a year. Regardless, it has been devastating to constantly pull hair from my head. I cried for 20 minutes a night throughout June and July. My hair was the first thing I changed when I decided to become Sarah. I am emotionally tied to it and to lose it, is a devastating thing.
My dermatologist upped my spiro 4x what I was taking and added Finasteride to my regimen. He did this to help counter the effects of male pattern baldness in case that was playing in there somewhere. He laughed and said "when I give these drugs to men, I have to warn them of all the possible feminizing effects. But in your case, this is only going to help your cause! I've never had to tell someone that before!!" It took until this month for my estrogen to hit the level my endo wanted to see. We both agreed it's because of the additional T blockers I am now taking.
Emotionally, I feel incredible! I have gotten my weight down to 185 (from 228 starting) and now wear a size 12. 175 is my goal so I've got a little further to go. My boobs hurt every single day. There is never time they don't hurt. I hope that stops when I'm done changing. My family and job are fantastic! I couldn't have asked for a better outcome so far. I am truly blessed...the last holdout was my church. I was scared to go full time at church but when I went full time the beginning of June, I needed to tell them. So during joys and concerns, I stood up before the congregation, took the microphone and read to them a pre-written synopsis of my past year. The paper was shaking so badly, I could hardly read it. My wife stood next to me holding my hand. When I finished, I sat down and the congregation erupted in applause! Afterward, many lined up waiting to hug and congratulate me on finding myself. I was VERY surprised how well they and my pastor have accepted this transition!! The pastor told me that God plays a big part in all of this and I shouldn't fear what some religions may say about it.
I snapped this last pic today while in a bathroom. It feels so good to just be Sarah...to no longer toggle between identities. I hope this also helps older folks thinking of transition that at age 41, this CAN be done! I admire the young whipper-snappers doing this before hormone take hold...but I hope this helps show that you always have hope, no matter your age!!!
