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Beginning Transition - Hair Question

Started by gapeach77, July 25, 2012, 12:23:56 PM

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gapeach77

July 25, 2012, 12:23:56 PM
So I have decided that it is time to transition.  I've been letting my hair grow out for a while and I'm at a point where I'm uncomfortable with having my hair styled.  Unfortunately, I for the time being, I have to present as male, so I need to get a style that's versatile enough to work for both genders.  How do I communicate this to a stylist?  Do I need to come out to one to get a good result?  I feel like if I don't outright tell them what I desire, she will automatically give me a male style. 

I have problems with anxiety and I've really worked myself up over this.  I would love some advice!
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Sarah Louise

#1
July 25, 2012, 12:42:15 PM
Look through some magazines and show the stylist how you want your hair done.  They should be willing to give you anything you want, your paying for it.

There is always the ponytail, both men and women wear that.
Nameless here for evermore!;  Merely this, and nothing more;
Tis the wind and nothing more!;  Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore!!"
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Penny Gurl

#2
July 25, 2012, 02:05:07 PM
Also hair type plays a role. I have curly hair and it takes twice as long to get anywhere with it. But when I started to grow my hair out I just told my stylest that I was going to grow it out and she was able to get me a cut that worked. It seems more guys are having long hair so I wouldn't think it an odd question to ask her.
"My dad and I used to be pretty tight. The sad truth is, my breasts have come between us."

~Angela~
My So-Called Life
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Adrasteia

#3
July 25, 2012, 02:07:59 PM
Try and find some others who are transitioning or have transitioned in your area, if possible. You may even find a stylist within the community - I met a girl at a recent support group who had just quit her job as a stylist.

My hair is around the bottom of my shoulderblades, but still a very masculine cut, ponytail everyday, etc. I'm currently trying to tackle some frizz issues as well as figuring out how to manage my curly male hair right above my sideburns.
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Bexi

#4
July 25, 2012, 06:34:15 PM
I did something similar to what Penny Gurl recommended - I told my hairdresser that I was growing it out and asked her to 'tidy it up a bit', which seemed to work. My hair is now at the nape of my neck and i'm immensely proud of it! Though I was quite loathe to get it cut after spending over a year growing it out lol!
x
Sometimes you have to trust people to understand you are not perfect
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snowboarderchic

#5
July 25, 2012, 08:04:41 PM
Honestly, your stylist probably sees a lot of trans clients. I hardly ever make an appointment to get my hair done, so I end up getting someone new all the time, which always leads into stories about the other trans clients and how they got their hair done there. Now I don't even discuss being trans because the stories have just gotten old! Not to mention I havn't presented as male in years.
So yeah, if you need to just tell the stylist you dress fem somtimes and you want a style that could go either way.
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Ms Bev

#6
August 05, 2012, 03:01:52 PM
Bite the bullet.  Show her a woman's style you like and get it.
1.) If you're skating on thin ice, you might as well dance. 
Bev
2.) The more I talk to my married friends, the more I
     appreciate  having a wife.
Marcy
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JennX

#7
August 05, 2012, 03:09:09 PM
Quote from: Miss Bev on August 05, 2012, 03:01:52 PM
Bite the bullet.  Show her a woman's style you like and get it.


This +1. Just do it. That way there is no room for error.
"If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."
-Dolly Parton
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blue.ocean.girl

#8
August 06, 2012, 07:48:43 PM
I've been thinking about this as well. Up until now, when I would get a haircut, I would let it grow out pretty long before I would get another one, as my hair grows very fast. Now its up to the length I would normally cut it again, and I want to let it continue to grow out, however it looks like a mess, and its not long enough to tie back yet. Its like an awkward in between stage. ::) I finally figured, whatever, there are plenty of guys that get pretty feminine styles. Just time to become one of them. Its a first step, but a very tiny one at that.  :)
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Jillieann Rose

#9
August 06, 2012, 09:33:13 PM
I was in your position about 4 years ago.
I look on-line for a few hair style I liked that could be styled either way. I printed out the photo and took them to a salon. I dressed as a women and ask the hair dresser to cut my hair in style of the photo.
She did a nice job and never let on that she knew I was a male.  Infact she was very nice to talk to. A few months later I went back and had her cut my hair again and while talking she said to me that she had thought I was a women at first. So started a conversation were I shared with her who all about me. My hair dresser was cool with it. She has become a good friend and has  really encouraging me. Now I am full time and she is helping me look my best.

So Peach I would just go for it. You may be surprised on how well you are treated. As others have you are a paying customer and they will do what you ask.
Have fun,
Jillieann Rose
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