Last night I had this very vivid dream that I had top surgery, and it was so extremely liberating to stand there looking down at my incisions, and being able to wear only a shirt was so unbelievable. I remember feeling the shirt up against my skin where my binder use to be. It felt so unbelievably real, so when I woke up I was devastated to wear I was crying. I didn't want to wake up at all, so I just laid there for a couple of hours thinking that that day wouldn't come until at least next summer. It hurts.
