How long for therapy?

[DanicaCarin]

Hey Ladies.....

I've been talking to my therapist(on line) for over a year. It was about three months until he got me on hormones and he has requested  I talk w/ him 2x month to find/reveal my basic female brain. Basically, uncovering the female brain before I developed a 3 dimensional male "self" to fit in.

So what is your opinions? Due your therapist feel the same way? Has anyone heard of this approach/therapy? @$135 twice a month I am putting a good deal of my resources into therapy, verses hair removal & general expenses.

ANy insight would be greatly appreciated.

Dani

[Alexis]

Honestly, I'd say it should be what you are comfortable with. If you don't feel like your getting your money's worth and you're not gaining from your bi-monthly talks then you should tell your therapist that. It's is supposed to be about helping you instead of just becoming a chore.

I started hormones a bit shy of 9 months ago. Since starting I've seen my therapist twice. Both times actually we wound up talking about lots of other life issues that I was dealing with and goals, not trans things. I still like to go. It helps me organize and prioritize and deal with things that I'm having a hard time with, but I just play it by ear and go as I really feel I need it. I'm lucky that my therapist is willing to work with me like that.

Yours should be willing to help you as you see fit

As for his approach, I can't really comment on that as I don't really know.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi DaniStarr,

Before I comment, I'm a bit confused by the terms,"finding your female brain." Is he trying to assess how well the HRT has changed your psychological aspects? Or what?

And I don't fully understand what you mean by, "3 dimensional male "self" to fit in." Do I understand from that, you consider yourself more "gender fluid" than a more "binary" perception.

As some members of the Psychiatric fraternity have been known to consider your fees to be more important than your wellbeing, its hard to guess what your therapist is actually trying to assess.

Be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

I saw my therapist a total of 6 visits.  At our first visit, he told me I was obviously Transsexual.  When I asked for letters, he gave them to me.  And he even paved the way to get my second letter from my psychiatrist, who also gave my letter for my passport.

[DanicaCarin]

Hi DaniStarr,

Before I comment, I'm a bit confused by the terms,"finding your female brain." Is he trying to assess how well the HRT has changed your psychological aspects? Or what?

And I don't fully understand what you mean by, "3 dimensional male "self" to fit in." Do I understand from that, you consider yourself more "gender fluid" than a more "binary" perception.

As some members of the Psychiatric fraternity have been known to consider your fees to be more important than your wellbeing, its hard to guess what your therapist is actually trying to assess.

Be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

Hey Catherine.....

He(Dr. Carl Bushong) told me that i was trans. He went on to explain than trans people are born with a female brain. He said that as children we express ourselves with our female brain and it cause conflicts(IE wanting to play like a girl or have female personality traits). And due to the negative responses from expressing our female brain, we build what he described as a three dimensional fake male personality to fit in. He used the analogy of a computer with a "female operating system" that has male software stacked up on top of the female operating system and that I need to remove all that male software.

I don't know if that makes any sense. Maybe there is another gal on the forum who has used Bushong and can express it better?

Dani

[justmeinoz]

That sounds like a pretty good description of the MtF situation.  I thought it was more like scraping a coat of paint off to reveal the jewel beneath.

Karen.

[Catherine Sarah]

Thank you dani,

That was a perfect explanation. I understand completely. Some may call it "adaptive reality." It has a whole heap of names, that all mean the same thing.

Well for my opinion, after talking with this Dr. for 12 months, I think he should have a very clear perspective of where you are in respects to dismantling your so called male responsiveness. So to up the consultations to 2 a month may be a bit extreme. You may wish to ask him to clarify what, 1) is he specifically looking for and 2) does he see any specific impediments or behavioural abnormalities about you that need specific attention.

From his response, you should be in a better position to evaluate his request for increased consultations. Hope this helps in some sort of way.

Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[Brooke777]

Well for my opinion, after talking with this Dr. for 12 months, I think he should have a very clear perspective of where you are in respects to dismantling your so called male responsiveness. So to up the consultations to 2 a month may be a bit extreme. You may wish to ask him to clarify what, 1) is he specifically looking for and 2) does he see any specific impediments or behavioural abnormalities about you that need specific attention.

I agree with Catherine. There could be some specific reasons as to why he would like to see you twice a month. Remember, a therapists job is to help you find your way down the path your life is supposed to go. "supposed to" being relative to you personally.

Best of luck

[DanicaCarin]

Thank you dani,

That was a perfect explanation. I understand completely. Some may call it "adaptive reality." It has a whole heap of names, that all mean the same thing.

Well for my opinion, after talking with this Dr. for 12 months, I think he should have a very clear perspective of where you are in respects to dismantling your so called male responsiveness. So to up the consultations to 2 a month may be a bit extreme. You may wish to ask him to clarify what, 1) is he specifically looking for and 2) does he see any specific impediments or behavioural abnormalities about you that need specific attention.


From his response, you should be in a better position to evaluate his request for increased consultations. Hope this helps in some sort of way.

Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa huggs
Catherine

No, I've been talking to him 2 times a month for 15 months. According to him, everything revolves around removing my "male" persona. For example, he states that I should not work on my voice or manurisims because I will come off as an efeminine gay male. He said that when I lose the male persona I will have a female voice and manurisims. I am just wondering if he is string me along for the $$?

[kelly_aus]

No, I've been talking to him 2 times a month for 15 months. According to him, everything revolves around removing my "male" persona. For example, he states that I should not work on my voice or manurisims because I will come off as an efeminine gay male. He said that when I lose the male persona I will have a female voice and manurisims. I am just wondering if he is string me along for the $$?

That sounds like BS to me.. But then, I never really had a male persona either. In fact, after reading some stuff about this therapist in other places and from what you've said, I've got to wonder about him.

Just to give you an idea, I saw my therapist weekly for about a month, then every 2 weeks for about 2 months, at which point I got my HRT referral, after that I saw him every month for about another few months. I now see him every 2 months and have had this schedule for most of this year.

[Catherine Sarah]

According to him, everything revolves around removing my "male" persona. For example, he states that I should not work on my voice or manurisims because I will come off as an efeminine gay male. He said that when I lose the male persona I will have a female voice and manurisims. I am just wondering if he is string me along for the $$?

Bingo girl. You hit the nail on the head.

Without being disrespectful, but that is an enormously long bow he's pulled about losing your male persona and getting your female voice.  That's like saying, if I stop riding my bike, I'll become a good singer.

Sorry. I don't profess to be a medical professional in any way, shape or form, but the only way I know of achieving a feminine pitched voice is to practice, practice and practice.

If he was THAT stupid to make that statement, if you go back to him, you may ask him how that actually works? Otherwise, just ask him for the surgeon referral letter then cut and run. You've got better things to spend your money on.

Huggs
Catherine

[DanicaCarin]

Thanks for the replies thus far ladies! I didn't want to get into this, but now I feel as though I may be in a bit of a "pickle". This therapist didn't write me a letter for HRT. He had me send my blood work to his Endo and then he has had me ordering the meds from an online pharmacy. When I asked why he didn't send me to a local Endo, he said he like to use his own. So basically, I've been on HRT for almost 13 months and I'm now thinking this guy may be a fraud? Luckily my primary is also monitoring my blood work and making sure there are no problems.

The thing that sucks, is that my health insurance would cover all of this. $30 for therapist, $30 for Endo, and $15 for generic scrips. I couldn't find anyone local so I went with this guy. So for the last 15 months I've been paying $270 a month for therapy and about $300/3 months for the meds.

To top it all off, He hasn't gotten back to me in over a month. In the 16 months I've been talking to this guy, I've missed exactly two sessions. One for Jury Duty & the other was financial, but over a weeks notice.

Have you gals heard of this guy? I know its not cool to disparage someone on an internet forum, especially where they can't defend themselves. But I'm wondering if I have made a huge mistake?

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Dani,

As to whether you have made a huge mistake, I wouldn't be so quick to start bashing yourself up. In general you have made some very appropriate decisions, carried out some respectable research, engaged in a practice of due diligence, and in many aspects, have moved forward in your journey. I wouldn't call that a huge mistake by any means.

In any matter of uncertainty that we engage in, be it legal, financial etc, we have to engage in some sort of basic trust relationship with our providors. Due to our lack of knowledge and experience in those respective professions, we can't be held responsible for the inappropriate behaviour of those we have engaged. However, we have a duty of care, to ourselves once determining such activity, to correct the matter immediately in order to minimise any further risk. To which you have done. I feel you have handled the situation, respectfully, sensitively, with a great deal of maturity.

Although some good has come from your association with the therapist, I think he may have taken advantage of some aspects of the treatment. Directing you to specific providors when there is the possibility he receives a commission. Somewhat unethical due to a conflict of interests, only if it is true.

The good news is, although you may not actually have a letter authorising your HRT, by virtue of the fact you have been on it for a considerable period of time, if you were to contact a local Endo you should be able to continue HRT, with the possibility of it being covered by your insurance.

As for your therapy, although somewhat misguided by very obscure prognosis (Viz: lose your male persona and gain your feminine voice) I sense you may have had some value. You are the one that can really answer that one.

At least you are now aware and sensitive of the fact, not all professionals have our wellbeing as their principle focus. Which has to be a good result when you consider the remaining research you have to do with the rest of your journey. Where ever that may take you.

I think you need to pat yourself on the back for what you have done. I wish you every success in correcting the matter, and in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[DanicaCarin]

Thanks for the wonderful advice Catherine! I'm sorry it has taken me so long to post again. I've been "burning the candle @ both ends" as of late. I will check with my primary the next time I see her. Maybe she can suggest an Endo who would help me out.

Again, Thank You!

Dani

[aleon515]

I'm ftm or maybe genderqueer but my experience is just totally different from this. He has never diagnosed me, told me I was or was not trans. He doesn't do pet theories. He has never given me a date by which I would be working this all out. He listens to me, makes suggestions, asks clarifications, asks me thought provoking questions, and has given me resources. I think he's wonderful. I don't know about letters as I haven't asked-- not feeling myself ready. I think when I feel ready, he'll be the second to know (the first being me). I don't think it is their job to figure out who you are, I think it's yours. A lot of stuff sounds psychobabble-ish (with an idea of monetary gain perhaps-- why not send to local endos?) to me.

I agree re: bashing yourself over the head. There is no really nice way to say this. Some therapists just cause more harm than good. I actually have been to more than one of them in my life and it did me more than a few dollars of damage.

BTW, IF you want to thank me, just don't call me no lady.

--Jay Jay