Why do you want to transition?

[Andarta]

I was faced with this situation at my neighbors house a few nights ago where my buddy was asking me why I wanted to do it an the only thing that came to mind was that answer; apple jacks logic an there's nothing wrong with that type of explanation imo. In the end if you feel right doing it then keep going despite the questions people throw at you because it could end up causing more internal conflict that isn't necessary if you allow yourself to dwell on 'em. For me personally it came down to either live a sad miserable life that would have inevitably led to suicide or transition, so far transition has been a blast an everything is falling into place beautifully; but there are some people I rather not go into detail with ya know?

[Alainaluvsu]

"Because I'm more comfortable this way"

[Kevin Peña]

Well, I called my friend and answered her question. This was the exact conversation.

Me--> "To answer your question, I just want to be me and treated as me."
Her--> "Okay, do you want to get noodles?"
Me--> "Wait, that's it?"
Her--> "Yeah. So, what about noodles?"
Me--> "Sure...?"

This felt good. 

[Alainaluvsu]

I've noticed that the only people that give a crap are the anal religious or the guys that think you're hot until you tell them you're pre op.

[jainie marlena]

Thanks for posting this thread.

I'm sick to death of those that back you in a corner and say hurtful things and leave you wondering what the point is of doing this. "you don't really seem feminine to me." this said by a man that is feminine but he does not wish to change his gender. He could not understand why, but I would say that would be because he is a man. " I don't feel one once of female in you" being judge by someone that  is feminine yet not female.

I have been reminded over and over about not having the money to do it."you will be nothing more than a feminine male because you will never have the money for it" This was a little funny just after being told by the feminine male that I don't seem to be very feminine I got told that all I would be was a feminine male.

talking to people who ask questions but don't really want to hear the answers has become a wast of my time.

[Andarta]

talking to people who ask questions but don't really want to hear the answers has become a wast of my time.

Yeah like wtf is it with people like that? I got into a very uncomfortable situation a few nights back where my 'friend' an his gf out of the blue wanted to 'understand' it an started questioning me so the second I start busting out facts about the mind an body not matching up this guy pulls a 180 an just starts in with "it doesn't make sense, god gave you a penis, you're a man" an would not allow me to explain myself any further; his gf however was quite cool. What really hurt though was when the ->-bleeped-<- just had to rub it in that I would never be able to give birth like a 'real' woman an that "no matter what you do it doesn't matter because you're going to your grave a man". As hurtful as it was that statement about not being able to give birth made me realize just how much I wish I would like to. 
 

[Alainaluvsu]

People like that I cannot stand to be around. It's best to treat them as anybody else that's disrespectful to you, and that's to avoid them and not do a thing to them. I'm sure it would also throw them for a loop if you started calling him a "her" too....

Or you could just say "Well fine! I'm still gonna rock this life like a girl and be happy doing it!" Do a little girly wiggle and spin ... something flamboyant. Usually that shuts them up for a while. Continue correcting people on the pronouns around him, and if he interrupts just look at the person you're talking to like he's an attention getting idiot and keep talking. Pay him the lightest attention possible and make it seem like he is beneath you.

And I know... not being able to give birth is a really big bummer to me too  But you can always tell those idiots that bring it up "At least I don't need to take birth control!"

[Alexis]

"Because I'm more comfortable this way"

^This

Also because I was tired of having to pretend to be someone I was not. I had no real connection to myself. It's hard to build any sense of pride or accomplishment in yourself when you don't even like the person whose associating with the world. In my case all my motivation came from outside and I was just, well, empty. Now I'm happy about not having to pretend and I'm just being me. I can use that happiness to motivate myself, rather than waiting for some external factor to do it for me.

[jainie marlena]

Yeah like wtf is it with people like that? I got into a very uncomfortable situation a few nights back where my 'friend' an his gf out of the blue wanted to 'understand' it an started questioning me so the second I start busting out facts about the mind an body not matching up this guy pulls a 180 an just starts in with "it doesn't make sense, god gave you a penis, you're a man" an would not allow me to explain myself any further; his gf however was quite cool. What really hurt though was when the ->-bleeped-<- just had to rub it in that I would never be able to give birth like a 'real' woman an that "no matter what you do it doesn't matter because you're going to your grave a man". As hurtful as it was that statement about not being able to give birth made me realize just how much I wish I would like to. 
 

we only seem to make sense when we talk with each other. Outsiders don't see as we do only because their not us.


@Diana I did not even realize why I was wanting to be seen as female so much until came here. I need to be seen as female because I am one. but knowing I am one has made be a better one. After seeing this thread I know why Have to keep going. I am a woman I won't be happy until I look like one.

[Eleanor]

I don't believe in reincarnation or an afterlife, and want to seize as much happiness as I can in the one life I do have. And I sincerely believe that it was only a matter of time until living as a man killed me.

[Nicolette]

I sometimes think I transitioned because the prospect of becoming my conformist and misogynist dad terrified me. But I look at all men and the prospect of becoming them terrified me too.

[justmeinoz]

Because my body does not fit the template that I hold up to it.
Simple really.

[mementomori]

ive never dressed as ' man" and have lived as a androgynous goth boy all my teen years and adult life now in i'm in my 20s the fear of ageing as a male and androgyny doesnt really seem to be cutting it anymore for me to be happy

[jesse]

good bloody question ridicule pain intolerance underhanded comments violence who wouldn't want this in their daily lives oh wait forgot inadequate medical care i mean where else can you hear a doctor say A. i wont treat you B. just live with it or my personal favorite C. its all in your head go see a shrink and come back in a couple of years.

[trishatosh]

Seems everyone pulls from the same pool of reasons to change, here's what applies to me:

* I feel more comfortable as a girl, since it represents the real "Me". I'm comfortable with appearing as either gender, but moreso as female. I feel like there's a whole other side of me that I've been hiding most my life.
* I've never really felt like one of the guys; always wanting to hang out with the girls, feel pretty.

I've always been one of those socially well connected and strong people throughout my life, and I think transitioning would make me a very strong woman, which is exactly what I want to be.

[translora]

After decades of transition wishes, and nearly two years of intense self-discovery and the coalescence of my own transsexual identity, one night something just popped into my head and has been stuck there ever since:

"I don't know why I want to be a woman, I just do."

I've tried every sort of reasoning, both to support the decision and to negate it, but all the thinking in the world doesn't change the above.

It doesn't make sense. I can't really explain it. Attempts to put more words behind it lead down weird rabbit holes. Making logical arguments doesn't really work because it's not a decision formed in the realm of logic. Making emotional arguments doesn't really work because it's so primal. It comes from so deep inside me that it's almost pre-language, pre-thought, pre-emotion.

As someone who spends a lot of time (outside of the realm of transition) trying to understand things and make logical arguments, this is the hardest thing to accept. There is no logic. My transsexuality just is, and my only decision is whether and how to act upon it. That's where I'm at right now.

Lora
http://translora.wordpress.com

[Alainaluvsu]

ive encountered these people as well. They can all ->-bleeped-<- right off !

You know... tbh the haters don't bother me nearly as much as the ones that accept you but cannot get the pronouns right. The haters I can write off as "oh they're just being douchey". The ones that accept it and slip up often, I start worrying if I pass and if anybody will ever accept me as female (basically doubting myself), and that hurts more than any intentional haterism. Intentional haterism I can mock and make someone look stupid, but the accepting ones it's harder because they're generally nice people... they just slip up!!

[Kevin Peña]

You know... tbh the haters don't bother me nearly as much as the ones that accept you but cannot get the pronouns right. The haters I can write off as "oh they're just being douchey". The ones that accept it and slip up often, I start worrying if I pass and if anybody will ever accept me as female (basically doubting myself), and that hurts more than any intentional haterism. Intentional haterism I can mock and make someone look stupid, but the accepting ones it's harder because they're generally nice people... they just slip up!!

I can understand your resentment, but it's to be expected. After all, they're used to you being your birth gender. It'll take time to adjust an ingrained habit. When I came out to my friends and told them my decision for my new name, they seriously said, "You couldn't pick something closer to your birth name? I got used to that one. Great, now I'm probably going to screw it up..."

Not kidding, they were actually concerned more about my name than the fact that I was transitioning, so regardless if they screw up my name every once in a while, I'll love all of the people who can truly accept me for who I am.

[Carlita]

After decades of transition wishes, and nearly two years of intense self-discovery and the coalescence of my own transsexual identity, one night something just popped into my head and has been stuck there ever since:

"I don't know why I want to be a woman, I just do."

I've tried every sort of reasoning, both to support the decision and to negate it, but all the thinking in the world doesn't change the above.

It doesn't make sense. I can't really explain it. Attempts to put more words behind it lead down weird rabbit holes. Making logical arguments doesn't really work because it's not a decision formed in the realm of logic. Making emotional arguments doesn't really work because it's so primal. It comes from so deep inside me that it's almost pre-language, pre-thought, pre-emotion.

As someone who spends a lot of time (outside of the realm of transition) trying to understand things and make logical arguments, this is the hardest thing to accept. There is no logic. My transsexuality just is, and my only decision is whether and how to act upon it. That's where I'm at right now.

Lora
http://translora.wordpress.com

This.

Like you, I pride myself on my rational, clear-thinking mind. Like you I am faced with a collision between everything that logic tells me should be in my best interests - and that anyone looking from the outside would certainly say was in my best interests - which is to stay exactly as I am ... and the emotional, physical, bone-deep and undying conviction that the only way I can be true to myself is to change my present existence utterly.

[Alainaluvsu]

I can understand your resentment, but it's to be expected. After all, they're used to you being your birth gender. It'll take time to adjust an ingrained habit. When I came out to my friends and told them my decision for my new name, they seriously said, "You couldn't pick something closer to your birth name? I got used to that one. Great, now I'm probably going to screw it up..."

Not kidding, they were actually concerned more about my name than the fact that I was transitioning, so regardless if they screw up my name every once in a while, I'll love all of the people who can truly accept me for who I am.

Yeah, I did pick something very close to my old name and nobody had trouble using it (well except my mom.. but she was the one that named me the first time so I can understand). It's the pronouns that kill me though. Sometimes I want to yell at them and be all "I DON'T WALK, TALK, LOOK, ACT, SOUND, MOVE LIKE A GUY! HOW ARE YOU STILL THINKING I AM ONE?!!!" but at the end of the day I do understand (well.. after I take my lil blue pill )