Why do you want to transition?

[Kevin Peña]

I was asked this question by one of my friends I came out to. I honestly thought it was hard enough to come out, so I didn't feel like I wanted to nor needed to justify my decision. However, I thought about this question later and couldn't come up with a reason besides "I just do." There is no concrete reason as to why I want to transition; I just do. I don't like having a penis, but I don't hate it so much as to get surgery to convert it. (I really fear surgery and I can't afford to be out of commission for recovery since I want to be a firefighter, nor can I afford thousands of dollars for it.) Anyway, I've been feeling lately that there must be something wrong with me since I really can't think of a reason to transition besides just wanting to. I want to be a girl, but just can't think of an arbitrary reason as to why.

What do you all think? Do you have a reason to transition? Is there something wrong with me? I could really use some advice.

Thanks in advance.

[Apples Mk.II]

Mostly because I want and can, and my body feels wrong. Continuing balding and hating every cell of my body, cursing every day I live, feeling that I keep acting, is far worse than transitioning. That's the only true reason I have, I can't face that future. And at my age I am already on the last frontier for doing it and getting decent results.


I have checked the possibles "why I should not do it", and the only things that come to me are "You won't have enough commitment to re-learn everything and care for that body", "Your family will hate you" and "you don't want to discover more things about yourself". My biggest issue was "Why I don't feel like a girl inside", but as other have pointed, my mind is still neutral, and not wanting to go under the knife. Although lately I stopped caring about the surgery. My real fear was accepting that I was willing to do it when the time was right. I don't have anything to lose, the new law protects me from being fire because of a trans status, and I have saved enough for FFS.



I don't know, and I can't find a logical reason that proves it, other than a gut feeling that this is what I have wanted for more than half of my life, but did not know that it was possible.

[UCBerkeleyPostop]

You say you "want to be a girl." Aren't you one already?

[Jayne]

When my psychiatrist asked me why I wanted to transition all I could say was "I want to be female" (with a shrug of the shoulders).
His response was that is the best response, simple & to the point.
Too often people over burden themselves with the hang ups of others, a true friend is one who is happy with the answer "I just do", the closest friend you'll ever have in your life is yourself so be a true friend & be happy with your answer.

[lilacwoman]

because I got to the point that I couldn't live and pretend to be male any longer and I hated the sight of my male body and I didn't want to try suicide again.

[Kevin Peña]

You say you "want to be a girl." Aren't you one already?

Technically not, but that's because I haven't begun transition yet. I feel female, but I'm just not treated as such because TECHNICALLY, I'm not female, if that makes sense.

Thanks a lot for the replies, everyone. "Simple and to the point." I guess there's nothing wrong with that.

[Kelly J. P.]

 I want to because having a male body makes me feel miserable. The hair, the shape, the everything - it's all so disgusting to me, and I can't stand it. The same applies to a male voice: I can't stand to use it, and when I do, I cringe with every word I speak. It feels extremely uncomfortable for me to be in a male body, and to have a male voice.

Furthermore, it is uncomfortable to be perceived as male. I don't like being called, "He", or to generally be thought of and classified as male. Some of that is just at a basic, emotional level, and some of it is at a more logical realization that being male excludes me from things that I would enjoy, like having female friends that don't treat me differently.

The fact that I had a male form caused me to hate myself, which affected every aspect of my life.

So, I guess I want to transition more out of a desire to be "not-male" than to be "female", precisely. But, I will note that every change I have experienced has been welcomed, and I truly desire a body that appears female. I am distressed because of the things that I yet lack in that regard, and at what I have that shouldn't be there. I want to be female, physically speaking, and I can't say why for any reason other than the fact that I hate the masculine traits my body possesses with an undying passion. At the same time, I love the feminine traits, and want to induce more of them.

I can't really define that desire clearly. As for my mind... well, I am who I am, and I don't know if my mind is male or female. I do know that my personality is very feminine - how I speak, how I act... they, too... but anything more than that falls into the realm of "I dunno".

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Because I was tried of fighting.  I was depressed and suicidal.  I am no longer ether.

[UCBerkeleyPostop]

Technically not, but that's because I haven't begun transition yet. I feel female, but I'm just not treated as such because TECHNICALLY, I'm not female, if that makes sense.

Thanks a lot for the replies, everyone. "Simple and to the point." I guess there's nothing wrong with that.

The point is your identity is female which is more important than the outer shell. I would argue that technically you are female.

[Kevin Peña]

The point is your identity is female which is more important than the outer shell. I would argue that technically you are female.

You do have a point, but I was referring to being a girl in society's eyes. After all, I can't have the full female experience if people don't treat me as a female.

[UCBerkeleyPostop]

You do have a point, but I was referring to being a girl in society's eyes. After all, I can't have the full female experience if people don't treat me as a female.

Of course not, and now you have articulated why you need to transition. Call me Socrates. Or the female version of him anyway. 

[Kevin Peña]

Of course not, and now you have articulated why you need to transition. Call me Socrates. Or the female version of him anyway. 

Well played.

[Sarah Louise]

Its a "Why did I want..." but I wanted because I could not live the lie anymore.

[Kevin Peña]

Diana, I dont see it as transitioning, but rather, becoming. I am already a woman, and always was. I just took necessary steps to both look at feel better, knowhatimean? I feel much better now, these last 6 months have been the best of my life!

Good point. Glad to hear you feel better.

[Randi]

I don't want to transition at all.  It's just that at my age, 62, I just can't pretend to be male anymore.

I did all the things that were expected of me and was good at it.

I've been living in the wrong body for decades.  Thanks to estrogen I can change that to some degree.  Frankly it's miraculous that I can feminize my body to be congruent to what it should have been 50 years ago.

Like many, I used to pray that God would make me a girl.  Evidently my prayers are being answered.

Randi

[peky]

Technically not, but that's because I haven't begun transition yet. I feel female, but I'm just not treated as such because TECHNICALLY, I'm not female, if that makes sense.

Thanks a lot for the replies, everyone. "Simple and to the point." I guess there's nothing wrong with that.

Technical, it dependeds on what is your definition of a girl, and by girl I mean the female of the human specie.

So, what make us female? or males for that matter.

Let see:

Could it be the chromosomes, XY = male, XX = female, right? No, ample examples of female bodied XY individuals,

Could it be the type of external genitalia? Say penis = male, vagina = female, right? wrong! Plenty of us XY-females born with the wrong external genitalia!!!

Could it be in the brain? I think I am females therefore I am a female? Right, ding, ding, ding, Bingo, Yahtzee!!!


So you see, it is all on you head.

In my case, I never 'transition," I dropped the act, abandoned the role, plain and simple, I was always and I am a female.

Now, what I am currently trying to do is to correct a biological mishap, and sociologically correct a miscued gender designation.

[Kevin Peña]

Technical, it dependeds on what is your definition of a girl, and by girl I mean the female of the human specie.

So, what make us female? or males for that matter.

Let see:

Could it be the chromosomes, XY = male, XX = female, right? No, ample examples of female bodied XY individuals,

Could it be the type of external genitalia? Say penis = male, vagina = female, right? wrong! Plenty of us XY-females born with the wrong external genitalia!!!

Could it be in the brain? I think I am females therefore I am a female? Right, ding, ding, ding, Bingo, Yahtzee!!!


So you see, it is all on you head.

In my case, I never 'transition," I dropped the act, abandoned the role, plain and simple, I was always and I am a female.

Now, what I am currently trying to do is to correct a biological mishap, and sociologically correct a miscued gender designation.

Well said.

I like your argument. To continue, females only have one active X chromosome and the Y chromosome has a function simply to activate the testes, so we were all female at one point and there's really not much difference between men and women from a purely biological standpoint.

I love science. 

[JoanneB]

My short answer is like LillacWoman's. Because I can't stand being a guy any longer. Actually more like finding it incredibly difficult and grows more difficult as I spend more time being Joanne.

[Elena G]

Because I was tired of fighting. I was depressed and suicidal. And we'll see what happens next...

[Jam]

It was not really a case of wanting to change my body as such (it was there but not as important). It was more a case of wanting people to see and recognise me as I see and recognise myself.

To walk down the street and be referred to by passerbys as 'that young lady' really made me feel ill.
It made me cringe, it was the exact opposite of the masculine young lad I knew myself to be.
To be called 'she' 'her' 'young lady' was far more painful to me then going home and getting a shower.
I felt like a young man who was being forced to dress in drag, a man who had hormones forced upon him to give him the curves of a women. Everyday felt like a humiliating experience, as much as I tried to accept the body and role in life I had been given  I could not. I admire women a lot, but ultimately I am not one.

I decided I could not and would not spend my life being someone else for the sake of giving others a more comfortable life. I had to be myself and that is why I transitioned. Not for a penis, not for a flat chest, but to be me.