How do you deal with annoying and unbareable LOOKS in public?

[Shantel]

Oh, you know, I'm really kind of a peacock.  My spouse likes to think of me as her human Barbie Doll, and I enjoy playing that up.  If I didn't want people to look at me, then I wouldn't have waist-length hair with pink, blue and purple streaks in it.  I try to achieve a bit of a Barbie Doll appearance with my makeup.  I wear bright colored clothes, and I usually wear a belt around my 28 inch waist to accentuate my Barbie-like figure... little girls in particular are intrigued by me.  My partner is always amused by little girls staring at me; she says, "Every little girl recognizes a Barbie Doll when she see one."

When people stare, I automatically assume that it's because I look good, and I look hot, and I'm just standing out in a crowd.  Sometimes I bask in and enjoy their looks and and stares without acknowledging them, and sometimes I simply look at them and with a great big smile I say, "Hi!"  I always smile at little girls who stare. 

Life is meant to be enjoyed.  I accept peoples stares (especially the little girls) as a joyful part of my life experience.

Hugs!
Miharu

Ok Miharu Barbie Doll, after all that we'll need some real life photos, gag---barf, excuse me dear! I have to hand it to you, you do have a positive self image, but you should back it up like I did in past posts when I put a torso shot of myself up when we were talking about boobs.

[KamTheMan]

I stare back.  Even when they look away, I keep staring.  Try to give them the same weirded-out look they're giving you.

Ditto.

[Miharu Barbie]

I have to hand it to you, you do have a positive self image, but you should back it up like I did in past posts when I put a torso shot of myself up when we were talking about boobs.

Oh really?  Ironically, isn't this exactly what this thread is about?  That is to say, how do we handle ourselves when others respond to us as if to suggest that we "should" behave in some certain way, or we "should" stop behaving in some particular manner?  Besides, if I put pictures up, then you'll all know the truth... that I'm really 550 pounds and bed ridden, laying here trolling the internet because I'm completely incapable of making it out the door.  Trust me, you don't want to see that. 

Hugs!
Miharu

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Oh really?  Ironically, isn't this exactly what this thread is about?  That is to say, how do we handle ourselves when others respond to us as if to suggest that we "should" behave in some certain way, or we "should" stop behaving in some particular manner?  Besides, if I put pictures up, then you'll all know the truth... that I'm really 550 pounds and bed ridden, laying here trolling the internet because I'm completely incapable of making it out the door.  Trust me, you don't want to see that. 

Hugs!
Miharu

Liar. Liar. Skirt on fire.  There is a picture of Miharu in the forum.  hehe.  I snitched.

[Miharu Barbie]

Liar. Liar. Skirt on fire.  There is a picture of Miharu in the forum.  hehe.  I snitched.

Foiled again!

[yasuko14]

I would just stare back like "I know what youre thinking or saying".
Id just weird them out, serve it right back to them, make them feel uncomfortable until they leave hahahaha like this:

0___________0

for like 3 min straight.

[Rita]

Kids always stare at me, but that's because I am always goofy with them . To be honest a little kid staring at me doesn't bother, lets face it they stare at everyone.  EVERYONE, if you have a piercing in your nose you can be darn sure they will stare at it.  But thats what makes little kids so cute ^^ that unwavering curiosity for the world.  They could climb tall mountains just because they wanna see whats on the other side.  Until we teach them to fear their own curiosity as they get older... 

But I have noticed the "motherly aspect" has really come out.  Have an easier time hushing them up when they are crying, there just seems to be something more calming and soothing about a woman usually.

[Ave]

Ehh I detest kids in general.

The only ones I can stand are my little brothers and I'll actually take them to movies and stuff, but any other kids would find themselves abandoned by me faster than you can say "ACS".

[MadelineB]

There are a couple of posts in the Writing forum on Susan's with perspectives on the topic of dealing with stares (especially of the rude or ignorant kind):

Miss Wideload (contains a bit of swearing)

I amuse you with my so-called life
You feel the need to point and stare
Showing off your ignorance to the world....

poem 032: THE STARE

Do I care
what you think you know
When you stare
at what I care to show?....

I like what the famous photographer Walker Evans had to say about staring. He recommended staring as the first step towards no longer being ignorant. Basically, "Stare, you might learn something":

Stare. It is the way to educate your eye, and more. Stare, pry, listen, eavesdrop. Die knowing something. You are not here long. - Walker Evans

It helps me to remember this, that when someone stares at me, it is because they are ignorant - I know something they don't know, and they are trying to figure it out. Poor dears. Maybe seeing me will expand their little world.

[GendrKweer]

Ehh I detest kids in general.

X1000

[Stephe]

I usually just go my way and pay little attention to those people. Just a short smile or something and then just pretend I don't notice it. As soon as you learn just to ignore it, you won't even notice it anymore.

I did this. Allowing them to get inside your head shakes your self confidence and then other people que off of that. It can quickly spiral out of control

I can say people will look at you as a woman more than they ever did as a guy. That is normal. If you pay attention to this, that isn't natural so you give off a "not-normal" vibe which makes them look more. The best thing to do is just go about your business and ignore them. I also found wearing a smile helps a lot in general. It comforts them. If you look woried or concerned, it just makes things worse.

[Cyndigurl45]

OMG I had that happen on a flight no less, where do go right,  so not being very shy I starred back and caught her eye,  I said I know confusing huh,  she just smiled and we started chit chatting, I told her I was born a woman tried to live as a man and went back to being a woman, sure I left out some details but hay she was the one starring.  By the end of the flight you would have thought we grew up together, we had swapped recipes talked about men, kids, periods lifestyle choices.

[Christine]

When people stare, I automatically assume that it's because I look good, and I look hot, and I'm just standing out in a crowd.  Sometimes I bask in and enjoy their looks and and stares without acknowledging them, and sometimes I simply look at them and with a great big smile I say, "Hi!"  I always smile at little girls who stare. 

Life is meant to be enjoyed.  I accept peoples stares (especially the little girls) as a joyful part of my life experience.

Hugs!
Miharu

Wow what a great attitude! Self confidence that we all try to achieve. Congratulations. As for me I just quit caring. Age has a way of doing that to you.

[SilentArchitect]

I know a lot of people here are unable to do this, but I am blessed/cursed with being a very outgoing personality and am also confrontational when someone is misbehaving.

When I get the piercing stare I make deliberate eye contact and if I think it's just a matter of their curiosity then I will smile and say, "Nice day isn't it?" or something politely appropriate. If I sense any malevolence in the stare I say in a loud enough voice for everyone close by to hear, "What the he** are you looking at?" Since they have either clocked you or think that you are some kind of weird freak of nature, 99% of the time they will become so embarrassed realizing that others close by realize that they were staring at you that they will invariably scurry away without any reply. It's sort of a reverse psychology whereby I turn their stuff back on them. Meanwhile, if it wasn't for having to rebuke that individual usually no-one else in the room would have even noticed you.

Snap lol.

[suzifrommd]

If I get clocked in public, I console myself with the fact that people are seeing that transgender people are perfectly ordinary and walk among us living ordinary lives and not just the subject of legend and news stories.

[Brooke777]

If it is just a look, I just smile knowing that they could be thinking something positive, or they are upset they find me attractive. It may be delusional, but it helps. 

[Shantel]

If it is just a look, I just smile knowing that they could be thinking something positive, or they are upset they find me attractive. It may be delusional, but it helps. 

No more delusional than any of the rest of us dear girl! 

[peky]

Oh, you know, I'm really kind of a peacock.  My spouse likes to think of me as her human Barbie Doll, and I enjoy playing that up.  If I didn't want people to look at me, then I wouldn't have waist-length hair with pink, blue and purple streaks in it.  I try to achieve a bit of a Barbie Doll appearance with my makeup.  I wear bright colored clothes, and I usually wear a belt around my 28 inch waist to accentuate my Barbie-like figure... little girls in particular are intrigued by me.  My partner is always amused by little girls staring at me; she says, "Every little girl recognizes a Barbie Doll when she see one."

When people stare, I automatically assume that it's because I look good, and I look hot, and I'm just standing out in a crowd.  Sometimes I bask in and enjoy their looks and and stares without acknowledging them, and sometimes I simply look at them and with a great big smile I say, "Hi!"  I always smile at little girls who stare. 

Life is meant to be enjoyed.  I accept peoples stares (especially the little girls) as a joyful part of my life experience.

Hugs!
Miharu

Barbie Rules!!!

[mintra]

While out and about I saw quite a few trans girls and boys and didnt really notice people staring at them or making comments...maybe its just this city

Wow! My lease is up tomorrow. If it wasn't for high rent I'd move to SF in a heartbeat.

[Taka]

i've never been weirder than my hair. and that has given me more than just a few stares.
but all the kids stare because they love it, so i just grin at them. and once had to let a kid touch my hair because it was turquoise, and i had used a gel that made it hard like plastic. it really fascinated him.

answering a kid's stare with a positive attitude is the easiest way to make trans people appear totally cool, no matter what their parents think.