Ok Diva, I am a Hair Care Professional, so I may have a few tools for you, but I have been out of the game a few years, so no judgement! ;p
1.Thin your hair. Thick hair should be thinned out. This can be done with thinning shears, but should be done by a pro.
2.Detangle. Use a detangler in the shower, Paul Mitchell makes one but so do lots of brands. Use a lot of it, be generous, and don't rinse it out completely. Its good for your hair.
3.Wide tooth comb. Once your hair is thinned out and moisturized well, using a wide tooth comb after a shower should be a much simpler process. Using a brush or a finer comb will wreak havoc on your hair, stretching it and breaking it when wet.
4.Serum/Leave-in Conditioner. Any serum type product s designed to smooth the hair follicle, producing silky/shining hair. It also helps calm frizz, and create a more natural weight to lighter fluffy hair. I have wavy frizzy hair and I wouldnt dream of leaving the house withut plenty of oils n my head. The key here is to use a small amount. A little goes a long way, you don't want to look greasy r anything like that. Also, a leave in conditioner would work well too. Go to a salon to get your hair thinned out, and ask about products like these, and your general concerns as well. They should provide you with exactly what you need.
I hope these tips bear good results, let me know. x