No offense to the mothers on this board... it is not directed at y'all believe me. I'm posting this as an example of what it
is to be supportive of your child going through transition. Maybe those struggling can take notes
I am 30 years old, an only child to my mother, and a MtF transsexual. When I was 15 I came out to my mother as "gay" and she flew off the handle. After a few months she got over it, however, and I kept caged up for years. Around February of this year, I came out as trans to her. She was not shocked, she was not taken back... she simply said "Give me time to figure out what this means on my own." I still continued to see her as a boy for a few months. Around April I went to her house dressed as a female for the first time ever. She didn't question me for a second and treated me just as normally and respectfully as the day before, a month before, a year before...
At first, she had issues with my name and the pronouns. She "he"'d me a few times in public and I did get a little upset (even though I know these are honest mistakes). However, she was trying her best to get that down. We even took a trip out of town in April, with me being in girl mode! She didn't come off as awkward, just had fun with her daughter as if nothing was out of the ordinary. There was absolutely no uncomfortable body language from her!
I lost my job in May, and went full time that day. Since I am going to school, it is very difficult to find a job that aligns to my schedule, so I'm living on unemployment (then and now). What does she do? She offered her support by paying for my name change and offering to pay for my hormones, doctors visits, AND lab tests. Now, she's a barber. She makes good money but is by no means rich. Just a supportive mother who cares for her only child.
Fast forward to now. My life savings are dwindling down and I express how scared I am because the bills are starting to overwhelm me. She GIVES me a decent amount of money to get me through until my student loans comes in, and tells me to not even worry about paying it back (I WILL pay her back, because she raised me the right way!!!). Not only that, but we are planning multiple road trips and she's offering to pay the whole way.
On top of all that (and best of all), a few days ago I suggested to her "Now that you have a daughter, we can do all the things that mothers and daughters do, like play with my hair!!" When she was here today, she said "Let's have a girls day! One day this week, we can get together and just have a day of nothing but shopping, catch a movie, and eat!" I am more excited than anything about it. This touched me (and helps me) more than any money she could give me!
Again, I'm 30. 29 years she's known me as her son, but it's only taken her about 1/3 of a year to realize she has a daughter, and she is seriously treating me like one. Her pronouns are getting much better than anybody else I knew pre transition, and I can't believe how fast she went from my old name to my new name. Parents, I think, can appreciate how difficult that may be.
I am truly blessed to have her. Transition is hard, but people like her help a girl like me so much more than I could ever ask for.
I wouldn't be surprised if she is on these boards reading, learning about what we face. If you are, thank you, mom. I love you more than I love anybody on this world, and I mean that with all my heart
