Being gay and being trans

[supremecatoverlord]

Let me say that again for you: "Of course, it's just MY thinking"

Am I going to hookup with any ftm's who read this? No, it's not my bag and I probably wouldn't be theirs. By saying it's MY thinking I hoped to make it clear enough that I held that certain view, but that I only spoke for myself.

And honestly, are you saying I have to be all inclusive about the guys I deal with? Who I deal with is something that should concern me, and I'm sure short guys (FTM or no) know enough that my opinion doesn't say squat about them because I'm not the Overlord Supreme of the world.

Holy hell, you're really immature.

And I don't identify as FTM, so thanks, bud.

[Ave]

Holy hell, you're really immature.

And I don't identify as FTM, so thanks, bud.

oh dear. And that was me being civil, you certainly don't want me trying to "read" you as you are trying to do to me.

Have a nice day, "bud".

[Natkat]

Mess? Now I'm having bottom dysphoria.

it was more my comparing babys to aliens, one day a crazy mother will kill me for that. LOL..

[supremecatoverlord]

oh dear. And that was me being civil, you certainly don't want me trying to "read" you as you are trying to do to me.

Have a nice day, "bud".

I don't identify as FTM - and you have no idea how half of the stuff your saying is not only considering, but really triggering for guys who pride themselves in their masculinity when you're blatantly saying "lawlz, it doesn't matter cuz you're short".
By the way, responding sarcastically to my post isn't an attempt to be civil or you clearly don't know how to be civil.

[Arch]

Holy hell, you're really immature.

And I don't identify as FTM, so thanks, bud.

Ave was just expressing a personal preference and did it in a way that was obviously expressed as personal preference. Other people have expressed similar preferences, such as those who do not wish to be sexually involved with trans men.

Ad hominem attacks are completely inappropriate, and they violate the Terms of Service. If you have a problem with someone's post, then please report it to the moderators.

[Ave]

I don't identify as FTM - and you have no idea how half of the stuff your saying is not only considering, but really triggering for guys who pride themselves in their masculinity when you're blatantly saying "lawlz, it doesn't matter cuz you're short".
By the way, responding sarcastically to my post isn't an attempt to be civil or you clearly don't know how to be civil.

It's squashed, I just don't appreciate being villified for my personal likes.

[Mercury]

I don't like short guys either and I'm short.  My height bothers me enough that I would get leg lengthening surgery if I could afford it.
I'm also not attracted to skinny guys.
Blond guys also don't look masculine enough for my tastes.

[ChaoticTribe]

Maybe we should stay on topic, eh?

[Paul]

Maybe we should stay on topic, eh?

Agreed...

[deejayk]

Ah, Good I came by this thread. I am trans and gay. Never ever had relationships in my life and I'm 20. It's really puts me down..

[ChaoticTribe]

One thing I wonder: how many trans guys have blatantly asked another dude out ir been very suggestive, and how many flirt and wait for the other guy to initiate?

Me personally I am very flirty but I always have the other person ask me out, I just let them know I like them by actions and stuff, and I have had good luck with dudes and not really experienced rejection, possibly because the people who would reject me aren't people who'd ask me out, even pre-T.

I wonder whether a lot of othet guys do this as well or if y'all are more forthcoming?

[Ayden]

If it helps anyone, I am happily married to a gay man, so there are guys who don't mind.

Ah, Good I came by this thread. I am trans and gay. Never ever had relationships in my life and I'm 20. It's really puts me down..

20 still leaves you with plenty of time, so don't worry. 

One thing I wonder: how many trans guys have blatantly asked another dude out ir been very suggestive, and how many flirt and wait for the other guy to initiate?

Me personally I am very flirty but I always have the other person ask me out, I just let them know I like them by actions and stuff, and I have had good luck with dudes and not really experienced rejection, possibly because the people who would reject me aren't people who'd ask me out, even pre-T.

I wonder whether a lot of othet guys do this as well or if y'all are more forthcoming?

I made all the first moves as far as flirting, he asked me out to our first date, and I proposed to him. Though... I probably would have asked him out if he hadn't beaten me to the punch. But he totally waited for me to get on one knee and be the gentleman. 

[Paul]

One thing I wonder: how many trans guys have blatantly asked another dude out ir been very suggestive, and how many flirt and wait for the other guy to initiate?

Me personally I am very flirty but I always have the other person ask me out, I just let them know I like them by actions and stuff, and I have had good luck with dudes and not really experienced rejection, possibly because the people who would reject me aren't people who'd ask me out, even pre-T.

I wonder whether a lot of othet guys do this as well or if y'all are more forthcoming?

I tend to flirt a lot.  I wait to see if he's gonna ask me out and if he doesn't after a little while then I ask him lol.

[justmeinoz]

Coming from the opposite direction I have found Lesbians can be as Transphobic as anyone else.  Fortunately I have worked out that I am Pansexual and into kink, so I am now content to wait for very special  people to come into my life and I am no longer so unhappy being single.  They will probably be female in form, but it is not a major concern.

Karen.

[Edge]

One thing I wonder: how many trans guys have blatantly asked another dude out ir been very suggestive, and how many flirt and wait for the other guy to initiate?

I've blatantly asked most of boyfriends out.

[Konnor]

Definitely been there, had my heart broken by a handful of guys who have acted completely cool with me being trans and seemed totally accepting - when in reality they just thought it was awesome to have a "girlfriend" that acted like one of the guys. Once real change starts setting in or they start getting perceived as gay by outsiders the game changes.

I'm afraid my advice is the same old cliqued advice that's given to everyone the world over, plenty more fish in the sea, stop looking and you'll find someone, you just need to find the right guy, etcetera etcetera. They're clique for a reason, because they're true!

I had officially given up on dating and decided I was going to focus on my daughter and my transition when I met a wonderful guy in a games store; it was pretty much love at first sight and our two year anniversary is in a couple of weeks

This, 100%! I had so many failed relationships with straight guys who decided they couldn't deal with how masculine I am (this was before I came out), and gay guys who couldn't deal with my body. I had pretty much given up on finding someone, and that's when I found my love. Been together for a year and things couldn't be more amazing! My best advice is to try not to dwell on being alone or people not liking you for who you are. When you find the right guy, he will absolutely love every part of you and you being trans won't be any kind of burden for him. There are def gay/bi/pan/etc. men out there who are open to (and like) being with trans guys. Just gotta find em Good luck bud!!

[GentlemanRDP]

I really wish there was some kind of advice that I could give you, but unfortunately, all I can stay is "Stay strong, and be patient,"
I've been having the same difficulties that you are. I've been going through a dating site, and clearly state that I'm trans. I've had a few dates through there, but they never seem to pan out. Sure, the guys all say, "Oh, hey, I'm cool with that..." But later it turns into, "...So...You're getting a penis, right...? Like when, like soon...and you're gonna top me, right?" o.o; Seriously, I really don't understand this. Either that, or they end up seeing my hips and saying, "I'm just too gay to date you,"

It definitely hurts, but there's bound to be at least a handful of people out there who really don't mind, and who genuinely like you for being you :3

Good luck, dear!

[ChaoticTribe]

Ah, see I usually like to bottom and top only occasionally cuz the sensation isnt there and my parts aren't big enough to do a thorough job yet. For guys who aren't genitally dysphoric labelling yourself as a c***boy would weed out guys who don't like the whole package, as that would signal that you're a very male dude not manly gf but that you're not going to be topping unless its with equipment and they'd respect that as other ghys would know to move on.

[limepepsi]

I've had the same experiences as lots of guys on here. Now, I haven't actually gone out looking for a gay man, and I haven't done any dating in a while, but two out of the three men that I was interested in (one that I dated), turned out to be gay. Something just drew me to them and them to me, and it wasn't until about a year and a half ago that I realized I'm trans. I've asked some other transmen about their experiences with being gay, if gay men accept it, and I get "some do, some don't." I think I'm just hoping, like we all are, that I'll meet that one gay man who loves me as a man. I don't think I could ever be with a "straight" guy...I feel like he'd always think of me as just a masculine woman, you know? And I definitely don't want that!!

[Natkat]

Ah, see I usually like to bottom and top only occasionally cuz the sensation isnt there and my parts aren't big enough to do a thorough job yet. For guys who aren't genitally dysphoric labelling yourself as a c***boy would weed out guys who don't like the whole package, as that would signal that you're a very male dude not manly gf but that you're not going to be topping unless its with equipment and they'd respect that as other ghys would know to move on.

only problem I got with the c*nboy term is that its a fetish term like ->-bleeped-<-" or "slut. so you can only use it when your seaching sex and nothing ells. 

I've had the same experiences as lots of guys on here. Now, I haven't actually gone out looking for a gay man, and I haven't done any dating in a while, but two out of the three men that I was interested in (one that I dated), turned out to be gay. Something just drew me to them and them to me, and it wasn't until about a year and a half ago that I realized I'm trans. I've asked some other transmen about their experiences with being gay, if gay men accept it, and I get "some do, some don't." I think I'm just hoping, like we all are, that I'll meet that one gay man who loves me as a man. I don't think I could ever be with a "straight" guy...I feel like he'd always think of me as just a masculine woman, you know? And I definitely don't want that!!

Well I see it as a general thing, people focus on diffrent thing and want diffrent things, I can understand being trans can be kinda darring to some, but if you like the person enough I belive most wouldnt mind. general the people who had rejejcted me from being trans have done so like before they really knew me, if they started to got into me more personally they where like.. arh.. WTH
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