Ask Matt: Should a Trans Man Date Someone Who Sees Him as Female?

[Shana A]

Ask Matt: Should a Trans Man Date Someone Who Sees Him as Female?

September 20, 2012 by Matt Kailey

http://tranifesto.com/2012/09/20/ask-matt-should-a-trans-man-date-someone-who-sees-him-as-female/

A reader writes: "I recently met a man who is friends with a lot of my friends. I'll call him James. We're all in our twenties and have a tight-knit group of very nice people. I met him and we hit it off. I thought maybe it was going somewhere.

"Now, in this group of friends, I present as male, they use male pronouns, etc. But I don't pass very well if you've interacted with me for longer than a few moments, as I haven't started hormones yet. Despite that, though, all of my friends are very respectful and supportive of my gender identity, so it's never really an issue.

"But James and I were flirting, and it started to go somewhere, and then he told me we needed to 'have a talk' before we could keep going. And his talk consisted mostly of my gender. He said he understands I'm trans, and he's all right with that, but it brings up a big issue. He sees himself as straight. And even if he knows I'm trans, he can't help but see me as a woman, and thus, he's attracted to me.