I'll be the first. Dog is God spelled backwards.
On the other hand cat is...... forget it
As a totally fantastic woman in my group says, "I am an engineer. I have no life" I totally empathizes with that since I am also an engineer. Relocated to hillbilly country from just outside NYC. Culture shock and loneliness rules the roost. The acquaintances I formed at work at are allmarried, kids, running around, etc.. Bars are out for me, in this neck of the woods for sure with my joisey accent
Besides NOT a good place for me to spend any quality time in.
The only joy I find in my life is the way too brief forays out into the real world as me. Actually they have been the only real joy in a very long time. I see myself in a life destined to do my duty, suck it up, do what you signed on to do.
Happiness? Are you joking? Life sucks and then you die.
I hate that attitude. It has sent me into depressive death spirals at least a half dozen times these past three years. Which in turn turns on the self hate and defeatist dialogs big time. I punish myself by avoiding trying to be the real me, even for a few precious hours hours each evening between returning home from work and sleep.
I may not find happiness, but I can break that depressive cycle by just forcing myself out once again as the real me. Even if it is just for groceries it works. No matter how much I go into my self-denial mode, I still get a shot of adrenaline each morning when I wake up and the first thing I see is the real me, before I have switch gears to that provider, supporter, "rock" etc. role I signed on to and am obligated to carry out.
You have a goal and are working towards it. Don't beat yourself over what you have not yet been able to accomplish. Look back to where you were 3 months, a year, three years ago! Revel in how much you have grown, learned, and most of all how much better you feel about yourself, your true self.
