Love and transitioning:

[EmmaS]

Hi,

I have been thinking a lot concerning love and how I could ever find it again. I was wondering what were some of the experiences you all faced with love and transitioning. I am currently in the beginning phases of transitioning and up to now I have always dated girls in my male body, but now after more and more time goes by I realize that I think I want to date guys but as a girl (aka my real identity). I was dating a girl actually at the time that I finally accepted this in my heart and I thought it was fair to let her know and call things off to be fair to be of us. However I feel like I can't meet anyone romantically until I finish transitioning and that could be years, and that terrifies me. What do you all think? Have you guys experienced similar thoughts or actually experienced good or bad romantic relationships during transitioning? Any advice would be so helpful.

<3 Emma

[Brooke777]

I definitely experience thoughts like this. I worry that it will be a long time before someone actually wants to take me on a date. It is easy getting hit on in the bar, but none of them seem to be interested in an actual relationship. They seem to only be interested in one thing. I only recently started looking, so I don't know if my fears are accurate, or just irrational. I wish you the best of luck, and if you learn a trick let me know.

[suzifrommd]

It is easy getting hit on in the bar, but none of them seem to be interested in an actual relationship.

I know it's a stereotype, but I think bars are really bad places to meet someone looking to get to know you as a person. They tend to be noisy and crowded and meaningful conversation is difficult. Characteristics that can be made evident in bars tend to be superficial (looks, clothing, etc.) while the true essence (interests, likes, dislikes, values, etc.) is hidden.

[Brooke777]

I know it's a stereotype, but I think bars are really bad places to meet someone looking to get to know you as a person. They tend to be noisy and crowded and meaningful conversation is difficult. Characteristics that can be made evident in bars tend to be superficial (looks, clothing, etc.) while the true essence (interests, likes, dislikes, values, etc.) is hidden.

I agree that bars are not an ideal place to meet someone. However, I dont really know where yo meet a woman. Also, I am not the type of girl that initiates the meet. I have no problem talking to everyone around but, I just dont think I could ever hit on anyone. I need someone who can take charge.

[EmmaS]

I understand exactly how you feel concerning needing someone who takes charge. First off I am extremely indecisive in most things unless I am 100% sure, and all my life I hated asking girls on dates and 99% I wouldn't approach. When I think of my true self as a female, I want a guy who approaches me and is confident, but I wish I didn't have to wait years to finish my transition.