What made you unhappy today? v2.0

[Jam]

God. Ugh. I feel like such a piece of crap right now. I am hurting a friend. 

Hey man hope your alright

[Apples Mk.II]

I am supposed to be on vacation. My first five days of vacations in a crazed year. And the for the last five hours, I've been working on a gigantic manual that details everything on my post. At this moment is 23 pages long, and it is not even 25%. Not to mention pictures, diagrams... That will need to be added later.

My new employeer signed a contract compromising to have the manual finished in three months, without knowing that in four years I have never had time to work on it, and my new boss is constantly giving me idiotic tasks that eat away my available time.


So here I am, working on it since my job continuity depends on it. Who am I to argue... I need the money.

[Shantel]

I am supposed to be on vacation. My first five days of vacations in a crazed year. And the for the last five hours, I've been working on a gigantic manual that details everything on my post. At this moment is 23 pages long, and it is not even 25%. Not to mention pictures, diagrams... That will need to be added later.

My new employeer signed a contract compromising to have the manual finished in three months, without knowing that in four years I have never had time to work on it, and my new boss is constantly giving me idiotic tasks that eat away my available time.


So here I am, working on it since my job continuity depends on it. Who am I to argue... I need the money.

That totally sucks!

[Adam (birkin)]

*vibes* I'm sure you're doing your best to do the right thing.

Hey man hope your alright

Thanks guys. Things are fine, but my friend has been very concerned about the stress I've been under. And apparently she's in love with me (I knew she liked me and was interested in dating me, I had turned her down). It just makes me feel bad cause I hate making others feel bad.

[DeeperThanSwords]

Thanks guys. Things are fine, but my friend has been very concerned about the stress I've been under. And apparently she's in love with me (I knew she liked me and was interested in dating me, I had turned her down). It just makes me feel bad cause I hate making others feel bad.

I understand. I take it you're not into her that way?

[muffinpants]

I hate seeing people throw their lives away. It just breaks my heart to see these people who live day to day with no hope of a better future. I wish there was someway to motivate a friend of mine to attempt to better her life. She is such a nice, fun person, but life screwed her and I just wish I could help her. It is just so frustrating. 

[DeeperThanSwords]

I hate seeing people throw their lives away. It just breaks my heart to see these people who live day to day with no hope of a better future. I wish there was someway to motivate a friend of mine to attempt to better her life. She is such a nice, fun person, but life screwed her and I just wish I could help her. It is just so frustrating. 

[Adam (birkin)]

I understand. I take it you're not into her that way?

Well...I dunno. The one thing that gets me a lot is that she just keeps popping into my life at just the right times. Sometimes it seems like the fates are trying to push us together.

We were coworkers. When I was with my ex, she expressed interest in me and my ex was really hurt by that. So I distanced myself from her, and we lost touch when I quit that particular job. Then when I broke up with my ex...sure enough, who am I in touch with again? Had a brief and rather uneventful rebound thing with her. Then recently, she pops back into my life again. Like this has been a 4 year thing.

I don't know why I don't want to date her. She's attractive, she sees me fully as male, she knows me well, we have (generally) similar sorts of values. It does cross my mind now and again that maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea...I mean, I am single. She's single. We don't hate each other. Why not? But it feels wrong to date someone when you don't actually feel the sense that it would work out long term. We'd do one of two things: settle, or one of us would leave the other when the "right one" came along, leaving the other alone. Lol.

[Adam (birkin)]

To add to it, I guess my real problem is I find it really annoying and disrespectful when people settle because they can't find the right kind of love or person for them. To me, it's just really unfair to all parties involved. The person who you "settled" for becomes someone who doesn't get the love they deserve, and the person who settled sold themselves short. Plus...if the person who settled finds someone they really do love, and have a connection to, then it hurts the person they settled for.

It just seems messy. a part of me wonders if she just needs to get me out of her system and get bored with me. But then if she stays in love with me...well, if I don't end up falling for her too, we're in that trouble.

I guess I just struggle a lot with it morally.

[DeeperThanSwords]

That does sound tricky mate, a lot of unknowns.

I'm afraid I don't have much in the way of helpful advice. 

[suzifrommd]

To me, it's just really unfair to all parties involved. The person who you "settled" for becomes someone who doesn't get the love they deserve, and the person who settled sold themselves short.

Unless love grows between the two, like a carefully tended flower, and both begin to see something special in each other that neither ever imagined was there.

[Sephirah]

The kind of nightmare/flashback that jolts you awake, leaves you with a cold and squirmy feeling in the pit of your stomach, and hands that will not stop shaking.

...

Ugh, I hate this.

[V M]

The kind of nightmare/flashback that jolts you awake, leaves you with a cold and squirmy feeling in the pit of your stomach, and hands that will not stop shaking.

...

Ugh, I hate this.

I feel you on that Sis. Although our separate experiences may be similar and/or different in various ways, the things that bother our slumber are very real because they did happen and we are left to deal with the outcome of such things

Always here for you Sis.

Hugs

- Virginia

[Brooke777]

The kind of nightmare/flashback that jolts you awake, leaves you with a cold and squirmy feeling in the pit of your stomach, and hands that will not stop shaking.

...

Ugh, I hate this.

I'm so sorry you have those. They really suck.

[Sephirah]

Thank you both. I'll be okay, I should be used to it by now. It's more disorientating than anything. Well, that and... yeah, probably best not to say. Folks might be eating, lol.

*checks heart rate is somewhere below the frequency of a hummingbird's wings*

*sigh*

Okay. Time to do something productive and haul my backside to the kettle.

[Shantel]

The kind of nightmare/flashback that jolts you awake, leaves you with a cold and squirmy feeling in the pit of your stomach, and hands that will not stop shaking.

...

Ugh, I hate this.

I can relate, still have those and see the bloated corpses we rolled over in SE Asia to search for info as their faces stick to the ground and maggots roil out of their eye sockets. And people still have doubts about my PTSD??!!

[Nathan.]

My nana wont be getting any more treatment for her leukaemia because the last chemo she had made her very ill. At least she will be home soon, just need to organize some help for her with washing etc before she comes home.

[Apples Mk.II]

I'm having an anxiety / depression attack. I'll have to take the damn emergency pill, but I'm going to hate tomorrow. Those morning when I am too afraid of coming out of bed, thinking I will start thinking about bad things in the moment I am on my feet.

[Adam (birkin)]

My nana wont be getting any more treatment for her leukaemia because the last chemo she had made her very ill. At least she will be home soon, just need to organize some help for her with washing etc before she comes home.

Ah Nathan, I am so sorry. *hugs* I know first-hand how hard those moments are. My best to you and your family.

[Apples Mk.II]

I'm so fed up with my mother.

"Are you taking your medication?" "Are you taking your medication?" Every time she gets me on my nerves and makes me explode... It's the usual, she loved to call me "mental patient", and all sor of mental health related insults every time she got me on my nerves because whenever she loses a conversation, she resorts to insults.

Being forced to take citalopram now for her is like a proof of me having a mental illness.

My father had to stop her because she was not stopping.

"NO, I'M NOT TAKING ANY PILLS. I TOLD MY DOCTOR THAT I WAS STOPPING THEM BECAUSE THEY WERE MESSING ME, MAKING ME MORE APATHIC, NOT LETTING ME SLEEP, ETC".

I got the info on the dosages from my doctor for going of the drug. It was a moment when I could not take any more crap until GD therapy started. But that's over. C'mon.

Of course, I have not needed pills for the head in my life. And much less since I started therapy. But of course, she does not know what I am having to suffer every day, and what happens to me.

Yeah, pills? Yep, anti androgens and estrogen. Best thing I could ever find. Now the only thing that's left clear is that she is the same irritant  little person that keeps making my life miserable.


Anyways, they are leaving for vacations for a week and I will be alone. SO I don't think I will be removing breastforms and wig at home.