I love and miss Jannie, which makes me sad, but seeing Keaira this heartbroken is also really awful. I've seen her cry, and I've seen her sad, but this is something different entirely. She always tries to hide her pain so she can stay strong, but it doesn't work with me. I see little changes in her, like little snippets of heartbreak. What's worse is I know she is trying to hold herself together and be strong, so I can only imagine what it's like when she is alone. Azzie cried the most the first night, but seems to be grieving more internally now. For Keaira though, it's just slowly leaking out. I wish I could be there for her. Just to bring her food or a drink, or her snuggie, give her a hug if she wanted it, stuff like that. I understand and respect that she needs to keep her feelings inside sometimes to keep her composure, but I want to help, even if it's just small things, until the time if/when she is ready.
I wish I could bring Jannie back and we could all just talk like before. And while I know Keaira will be OK, in time, I wish I could take all of her pain into my heart and feel it instead.
