What made you unhappy today? v2.0

[FTMDiaries]

I shower at home anyway, though changing clothes is a bother. The main thing that bothers me is being able to fully feel all the things that are wrong with me, especially the boob issue.

I kinda want to ask the manager about what to do regarding transition, but I'm too scared.

With regards to other women (and men), being pansexual means I'd be slyly admiring no matter where I changed.

I did this a couple of months ago. The manager at one of my gyms is a lesbian, and the manager at the other one is a gay man - and they were both aware of trans issues. How lucky am I? They were super-understanding.

They've arranged for me to use the disabled changing room, which is a single-stall room complete with a locker and shower. I'm very uncomfortable around women so I hated getting changed in the women's, and I don't feel safe in the men's until I've had top surgery. So it's a good solution for now and both managers support me in using the men's whenever I'm ready.

The next problem I had to tackle was actually exercising. I've found that I can't use treadmills any more because of the bouncing in the chest area and I don't believe it's safe to bind whilst running... so I use the bikes for my cardio now. No binding, but no bouncing either.

Then I became self-conscious about wearing shorts whilst showing off my now-hairy legs... so I bought myself a nice pair of men's shorts from Hollister and just went on out there. It feels so much better now that I've managed to deal with the main causes of my dysphoria in the gym.

Speak to the manager... you never know what they can do to help. The other advantage is that they can back you up if anyone ever kicks up a stink. Trust me, a good gym manager will appreciate knowing about your transition so they can manage their staff and other customers if ever they do or say anything transphobic.

[FTMDiaries]

I just had a lot of eyeball assault with the huge hair covered bodies coming out of the shower with their junk showing. OMG Please! 

I felt the exact same way about women wandering around the ladies' changing room with their boobs flapping in my face. Made me want to gouge out my own eyeballs!

(By the way... I had to use the men's changing rooms at one of my gyms a few months ago due to refurbishment. I always get changed in a cubicle for privacy, and I discovered that all of the cubicles have suspicious white stains running down the walls)

[Nero]

I just had a lot of eyeball assault with the huge hair covered bodies coming out of the shower with their junk showing. OMG Please! 

I felt the exact same way about women wandering around the ladies' changing room with their boobs flapping in my face. Made me want to gouge out my own eyeballs!

Damn. How come I never used the ladies gym locker while I could? 
I'm kind of like you though in that I find any close quarters with a bunch of women uncomfortable and would always rather change around men even before transition.

As far as the bouncing issue, yeah I quit running or moving much (besides shooting a few hoops here and there) at 11. The bouncing was the worst for me.

[FTMDiaries]

Damn. How come I never used the ladies gym locker while I could? 
I'm kind of like you though in that I find any close quarters with a bunch of women uncomfortable and would always rather change around men even before transition.

Yeah, you missed a trick there! 

It's not just the fact that I dislike women's bodies that made it so uncomfortable... but women are so incredibly chatty. I found I was very uncomfortable with being surrounded by a bunch of people having these loud, strange conversations that sounded really boring to me.

Of course, they're perfectly entitled to have those conversations because they aren't actually strange or boring to them. It just reinforced the fact that I didn't belong there.

[Nero]

Damn. How come I never used the ladies gym locker while I could? 
I'm kind of like you though in that I find any close quarters with a bunch of women uncomfortable and would always rather change around men even before transition.

Yeah, you missed a trick there! 

It's not just the fact that I dislike women's bodies that made it so uncomfortable... but women are so incredibly chatty. I found I was very uncomfortable with being surrounded by a bunch of people having these loud, strange conversations that sounded really boring to me.

Of course, they're perfectly entitled to have those conversations because they aren't actually strange or boring to them. It just reinforced the fact that I didn't belong there.

I feel ya. That's the good thing about the men's room. Guys just get in, do their business and leave. Whereas women linger at the sink crowding all surfaces with their purses, chatting away. It can be a bit intimidating. 

[FTMDiaries]

I feel ya. That's the good thing about the men's room. Guys just get in, do their business and leave. Whereas women linger at the sink crowding all surfaces with their purses, chatting away. It can be a bit intimidating. 

Word.

I used to wear my iPod the entire time I was in the ladies' changing rooms, just to try to drown them out. I'd always use the least-crowded areas and I'd get out as quickly as I could.

It's not like they were doing anything wrong, but they made me feel so uncomfortable. I'm so much happier having my own private suite, as I like to call it.

[Shantel]

I felt the exact same way about women wandering around the ladies' changing room with their boobs flapping in my face. Made me want to gouge out my own eyeballs!

(By the way... I had to use the men's changing rooms at one of my gyms a few months ago due to refurbishment. I always get changed in a cubicle for privacy, and I discovered that all of the cubicles have suspicious white stains running down the walls[/b])

Ugh - how disgusting, we won't even go there! 

[DeeperThanSwords]

I did this a couple of months ago. The manager at one of my gyms is a lesbian, and the manager at the other one is a gay man - and they were both aware of trans issues. How lucky am I? They were super-understanding.

They've arranged for me to use the disabled changing room, which is a single-stall room complete with a locker and shower. I'm very uncomfortable around women so I hated getting changed in the women's, and I don't feel safe in the men's until I've had top surgery. So it's a good solution for now and both managers support me in using the men's whenever I'm ready.

The next problem I had to tackle was actually exercising. I've found that I can't use treadmills any more because of the bouncing in the chest area and I don't believe it's safe to bind whilst running... so I use the bikes for my cardio now. No binding, but no bouncing either.

Then I became self-conscious about wearing shorts whilst showing off my now-hairy legs... so I bought myself a nice pair of men's shorts from Hollister and just went on out there. It feels so much better now that I've managed to deal with the main causes of my dysphoria in the gym.

Speak to the manager... you never know what they can do to help. The other advantage is that they can back you up if anyone ever kicks up a stink. Trust me, a good gym manager will appreciate knowing about your transition so they can manage their staff and other customers if ever they do or say anything transphobic.

Thank you very much for sharing your experience, I find it very encouraging. 

[DeeperThanSwords]

It's been snowing really heavily all day, out of nowhere. I have to go to see my psychologist in an hour, but I hate being outside when it's snowing. Bah!

[FTMDiaries]

Thank you very much for sharing your experience, I find it very encouraging. 

You're welcome - I hope you have a positive experience too.

I consider myself one of the lucky few people at my gym that has my own private suite to change in.

[Adam (birkin)]

Removed my post about the exercise stuff because it doesn't matter in the scope of things. My supervisor just emailed me and told me the woman I taught with last term passed away this morning. She was 64, but it was pretty sudden because she just got a really bad case of the flu and had to be on a respirator.

I'll probably go to her memorial. She was always so amazing to me, and gave me and taught me so much. She was always giving or offering opportunities to do some larger lectures so I could be more comfortable with teaching, even when it meant giving up her own class time. She truly loved each and every one of her students too. Teaching was truly her passion. RIP Margo.

[Rowan Rue]

Call from a debt collector trying to collect on a Visa card I paid off in full two years ago.
Nice to know that even if I ever manage to get all my debts taken care of, I'll still be dealing with these ->-bleeped-<-s forever more.
Sooo angry right now.

[BunnyBee]

I came across some pics of me a year ago and I feel fat now .

[Shantel]

I came across some pics of me a year ago and I feel fat now .

Oh for gosh sake you're not fat!

[BunnyBee]

But I feeel fat!  Way to much gained for one little year...  Time for diet!

[Shantel]

But I feeel fat!  Way to much gained for one little year...  Time for diet!

I know that feeling too, just the same you gave me an LOL moment when you said that, it's such a girly-girl complaint! 

[FTMDiaries]

It's Valentine's day and everyone is going on about it. Everywhere I turn there are constant reminders.

Today is my wedding anniversary. But our marriage is over and we're in the process splitting up whilst still living together. I thought at the time that it'd be a brilliant idea to have all that romantic stuff around us on our special day. Now that we're separating, those reminders are absolutely awful. I just want to find a corner somewhere to hide in for the rest of the day.

[King Malachite]

It's Valentine's day and everyone is going on about it. Everywhere I turn there are constant reminders.

Today is my wedding anniversary. But our marriage is over and we're in the process splitting up whilst still living together. I thought at the time that it'd be a brilliant idea to have all that romantic stuff around us on our special day. Now that we're separating, those reminders are absolutely awful. I just want to find a corner somewhere to hide in for the rest of the day.

-hugs-

[Shantel]

It's Valentine's day and everyone is going on about it. Everywhere I turn there are constant reminders.

Today is my wedding anniversary. But our marriage is over and we're in the process splitting up whilst still living together. I thought at the time that it'd be a brilliant idea to have all that romantic stuff around us on our special day. Now that we're separating, those reminders are absolutely awful. I just want to find a corner somewhere to hide in for the rest of the day.

I'm sorry, that is extremely sad dear. We will be your Valentine's for this day in spite of it. xoxox

[FTMDiaries]

-hugs-

Thanks - I needed one of those!