Are you fed up with verbal insults in public?

[Silent Killer]

I'm more than sick to hear everything on the streets 'It's a MAN, it's a DUDE, it's a GUY, TRAVELO, ->-bleeped-<-, what's this CREATURE, what's this THING, what is THIS, so DISGUSTING, BERK, ->-bleeped-<-, it's a MAN WITH SILICON TITS, PERVERT' and other crap more

I'm more than SICK, SICK N SICK hearing those every day! 

I generally ignore and make as if I don't hear but the amount this has accumulated in me has become at a critical  unbarable point now and dunno how to evacuate this heavy negative feelings trapped inside me. Every effing day I go out in public is like I have to confront the entire hostile world EVERYDAY! pffff!!

I wish I could be like her, I ADMIRE her a lot and is my idol. But I'd never have the guts to do that, fear of being beaten, at least I could defend verbally but that too I'm too weak mentally. 

REALLY WISH I COULD BE LIKE HER


Do you get the same as me too? What do they tell you? What do you do in turn?

[Misato]

I look at it that every time I'm clocked and called out I have to be an ambassador for my trans brothers and sisters.  I need to demonstrate that I'm just a normal woman trying to live my life, I'm not special.  Nor worthy of ridicule.  That's also why when I'm out I suck up every ounce of confidence I have.

Does that mean I don't later try to find mental relief by thinking things like, "at least I'm more lady like than she was, calling me out like that!"?  No.

Yeah it's lousy.  I was on a bus and for several blocks this nasty woman derided me saying, "if men were meant to be women he'd of given em' t**s". Packed bus too.  No one came to my aid.  Same when this other woman tried angleing her smartphone at me so she could take my picture without me noticing.  I just gave her a knowing look and thought to myself, "Want to know what it's like to be a celebrity? BE TRANS!"

As I'm sure you know, the main thing bullies are looking for is a reaction.  So I will not do anything to them but be a good ambassador for my people.  But I'll also come here and grouse.  Or go to my trans group and grouse.  Violence only leads to bad times.

[suzifrommd]

Trans women are tough. Some of the toughest people I know are trans women. We have to be.

But we don't need violence to show how tough we are.

That being said, if anyone threatens you with violence or lays a hand on you, that's a crime, whether you're trans or not. Report it.

[Beth Andrea]

I've been fortunate, only middle-aged men have glared at me, no one has taunted me (yet).

Part of my job is to understand people, and "read between the lines" of what they're saying/doing in order to find out what it is that they need, and then (if possible) provide that need.

I think most people are simply reacting with fear (which is read as "hate"--hate is a better form of fear for them than merely cowering in a corner), and that fear is not based on reason, but on what they *imagine* us to be like.

Possible responses:

Camera lady: Turn toward her, smile, and say, "If you'd like a picture, just ask so I can smile."

Glaring men: Make eye contact, smile and nod or wave (not flamboyantly, but how a woman would wave).

Woman who said "...given 'em tits": "But God did give men tits. Men have nipples, they have mammary glands, they're just not active because of the testosterone."

And of course, there's always the stoic response of not saying or doing anything...like when a small dog is yapping, one ignores it lest the dog think he's more important than he really is.

[kelly_aus]

Can't say I've ever had it happen to me. But I'm fairly sure if it did, I'd come up with some kind of pithy retort - that's just the kind of person I am.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

I have only ever had two incidents.  One was with two teen girls, who would point and laugh.  It was in Walmart so I made sure I passed them several times.  Each time I passed them, I would just smile and wave.  They stopped.

The other time was the same store.  A woman saw me, and motioned to her friend.  They had the look of shock and discuss on their faces.  As I passed, I said "Take a picture.  It lasts longer!"

I confront them if I see them.  They always seem to just back down.

[MaidofOrleans]

Keep in mind that many of these people have issues of their own.

They openly attack others in attempts to hide their own insecurities.

[8888]

If you're sick sick sick of it then why are you continuing with your transition? People say they transition to live a happy life socially, but how can this be true when you are being abused 24/7 and no one is treating you like a woman?

[MaidofOrleans]

If you're sick sick sick of it then why are you continuing with your transition? People say they transition to live a happy life socially, but how can this be true when you are being abused 24/7 and no one is treating you like a woman?

because being true to yourself is better than appeasing the insecurities of others.

[pretty]

AFAIK I have never been clocked but that sounds awful 

Maybe you could work on your makeup, outfit and stuff so you pass better. Cause unfortunately people are jerks.

[barbie]

People tend to treat me like a kind of celebrity, whether they know I am a man or not. They like me, and I have never met any person giving me negative comment. I think people here are very accepting.
Some of my photos with my old frineds or strangers.



Barbie~~

[Rita]

I haven't had those problems, though I am sure I would confront it if I did.  Not physically or verbally abusive but I kind of have a charm when dealing with those people   I know how to win the battle.  Much like the above poster who just waved and smiled.

I an Puerto Rican, with very light white skin.  So I kind of had to deal with people bothering me about being "gringo".  Saying I wasn't spanish ect ect.  I kind of found my own way of dealing with them  in a way that they would laugh and I would laugh and all would be friendly.

People tend to want to get violent, but most can be pacified to actually smiling about their own stupidity.  Humbled if you will.

[PrettySoldier]

Just smile & wave or say "Thanks!" Letting them know you aren't phased by it, or at least pretending you aren't, will take out any sort of pleasure they get from hurting someones feelings.

People like that are messed up themselves. Recently a boy in high school who tormented me ended up committing suicide, which is really sad. & I thought maybe he had a rough life & he bullied me to let out his frustration & sadness? No one is a bully, or racist or transphobic because they wanna be. Don't let them make you feel bad about yourself because they feel bad about themselves & wanna take it out on you.

[Brooke777]

LMAO people putting you down cause your white :p

Yes, even white people get descriminated against. I have had many people assault me because I am white. I hate all forms of social injustice.

[8888]

-1
Why would you NOT continue with transition? What if you were born with a face deformity, and people ridiculed you in public. Or if your were paraplegic. It is THEIR problem, not yours. They are the inconsiderate jerks, not you.

Bad example, face deformity cannot be hidden while your mindset can. Besides she can always try androgynous.

[Brooke777]

k
I dont think anyone should have to hide who they are, it is the people that are ridiculing you who have the problem. It seemed really weird from my perspective to see someone on a trans forum telling someone else to stay closeted or take a step back with transition. Speaking for myself here, I would much rather be hated for who I am than loved for what I am not. I can imagine that the OP would rather present as female and deal with the consequences (presumably just immature brats calling her out in public) than have to suffacate in the closet. (Suicide?)

Perfectly said! 

[ShaunaNinjagirl]

I seem to get weird looks or comments once or twice a year. I am lucky I am not as tall as that lady in the video. I also make sure to wear flats as I seem to get more comments when I wear the heels. Flats make me a little shorter. 
Best we can do thought is grin and bear it as we do are damned best to save up for facial feminization surgery. Unfortunately the more unpassable you are then the more confrontations you are going to have with rude jerks. Work 2 jobs if you have too, but get the surgeries you need to make your life better.

[Annah]

If you're sick sick sick of it then why are you continuing with your transition? People say they transition to live a happy life socially, but how can this be true when you are being abused 24/7 and no one is treating you like a woman?

you've missed the point of transition if you believe that.

The point of transitioning is because you will curl up and die if you live another day in your birth gender.
The point of transitioning is to become the gender you identify with

The point of transitioning IS NOT to feel all happy inside all the time and skip and dance and expect everyone to hug, love, and embrace you all the time. Transitioning is not always about other people either...it's about the person who is transitioning as well.

If you believe that, you will have a very difficult transition.

[Nicolette]

I seem to get weird looks or comments once or twice a year.........best to save up for facial feminization surgery.

Really? You look damned good already in those photos you posted. FFS on top of that? They'll be queuing. 

[ShaunaNinjagirl]

 


Thanks. I do have my good days, but there are still days were I sometimes get a comment like, Is that a man, or something equally depressing. Doesn't happen more that twice a year but still it does hurt. Usually leaves me depressed for a day and then I am fine after a good nights sleep. I still want to be as passable as I can and so I think that FFS is a great idea for any MTF