Can't judge a book by its cover
By Bill Tremblay|Oct 01, 2012 - 1:18 PMhttp://www.orangeville.com/community/life/article/1511658--can-t-judge-a-book-by-its-cover
PHOTO: Bill Tremblay. "Human Library" Christina Bellsmith, a transgender United Church minister, was one of many books to read at the Headwaters Human Library, held at the Orangeville Public Library, MIll Street branch, on Saturday (Sept 29). Bill Tremblay"I lived most of my life male not knowing any differently, because I was brought up in quite a conservative environment, but I never felt comfortable in my own skin," said Bellsmith, who worked as a minister at the United Church in Shelburne. "My energy, my emotions, my outlook is not male at all. I was not comfortable in the male world."
After battling denial and self-horror, Bellsmith accepted who she is and began the transformation into a physical woman.
While Bellsmith said she lost about half of her friends and family, explaining the change to her congregation also took a toll.
"It was really tough for that congregation when I came out as far as the physical transformation,'" Bellsmith said. "I kept it quite a secret. I was living a double life."
With the support of the denomination and the church leadership, Bellsmith planned how she would break the news to the congregation.
"It doesn't matter how carefully we planned. ... People in the pews aren't always there yet. They have their own prejudices, and baggage they carry," she explained. "I ended up stepping down. I recognized it was hurting the church."
Although Bellsmith said her relationship with the church is shaken, her faith in God has only strengthened.
"I feel more affirmed, and more secure that I am unconditionally loved by God," Bellsmith said. "I don't have to earn God's love."
In the New Year, Bellsmith will head to Edmonton to resume her work as a minister with a new congregation.
"The United Church is amazing. It's very accepting to diversity."
