How do you deal with a crisis?

[Cindy]

Part of my job is to deal with the unexpected, the unusual and the bizarre.  I get told at very short notice that my budget has been slashed, people not employed, a disaster has occurred, the world is ending or even that the football team has lost another game and what am I going to do about it.

I'm sort of trained for all this by experience, some basic management skills and being able to call heads or tails. (I jest. I'm very good at what I do, otherwise I wouldn't have a job, but never let facts get in the way of a new post.)

I have noticed that since going FT I deal with the stuff even better than before, possibly because I'm happy in myself and have the confidence in myself to deal with the situations.

But it has lead me to ask the question of how do we deal with crisis? What is a crisis? Do we plan and rationalise or do we find a place to hide? Is plan A to hide and plan B is to hide deeper?

One of the reasons I ask is that many of the 'I need help' type of posts are in the category, s**t has happened what do I do?

We all of course try to help in every particular case but I was wondering if we had a general discussion of what we do, or how we start to deal with stuff happening, that we may be able to help each other with life strategies.

Any thoughts and examples are very welcome.

Cindy

[Sandy]

"If you can keep your head when all others are losing theirs..."  You obviously don't understand the situation.

One of my biggest crisis was when my insurance company denied my application for my surgery after assuring me that it was covered.

First I cried.  A lot.  It meant that all my plans had been thrown in disarray.  I would have to find a way to fund my surgery personally.  I was humiliated and appalled.

Then I got mad.  Very mad.  Then I expressed my anger to any and all involved with my denial.  I called and wrote and did not stop until I was talking to someone who not only could help but did.  I also got my physician, therapists and surgeon to write letters demanding that they review and reverse their decision.

It wasn't that I planned to do it, it was my decision not to go quietly away.

I think that we need specific skills in crisis, but we need determination above all.  Simple perseverance to keep fighting while breath remains.  Have a goal and let nothing and no one stand in the way.

We shouldn't have to fight to attain what others are born with, normalcy.  But we do.

And that is what makes us special.  We do not lie down and quit.

Ever.

-Sandy

[Cindy]

Nice point and I totally agree. Fierce determination. Present the facts and be honest with them. But state them loud and clear. And don't back down.

[Beth Andrea]

One of my former jobs was as a dispatcher...I used to say "my job is to put out little fires before they become big ones."

First thing I would do in a crisis--or a multiple crisis--is to think triage:

--Which problems need urgent help now?

--Which problems can be stabilized with a minimum of fuss, just to tide them over for a little bit?

--Which problems can be left alone (or with a *very* simple fix)?

Second thing is to communicate to everyone when (approximately) we'll be with them...at the same time we are setting up appropriate responses for the "need attention NOW" group...if time allows we address the (very simple) fixes for the third group;

Third, we execute the plan(s) for the NOW group, monitor their progress, and start setting up for the second group.

It can be chaotic in a dispatch setting...lead, follow, or go get coffee for those who are...



Also, my ex used to say, "Now's a good time to panic!" I explained to her that there's never a good time...before a crisis, one would look silly panicking...during a crisis you MUST keep your wits about you...after a crisis you'll again look silly panicking when there's nothing happening to panic about.

So, don't panic.   

[Brooke777]

I have been through some pretty major life or death crisis situations. I have been trained to always stay calm, and think logically and rationally through the situation. We followed a similar approach as Beth. We would deal with the immediate issues first, the ones that could not wait. We would handle the ones that were pretty important. Then, when time allowed we would get to the ones that were left behind. When all others are panicing, and losing their heads, we were the ones staying calm and getting things done. When peoples lives are on the line you cannot panic. You have to keep calm and cool otherwise they will die.

[Shantel]

  Detonate the claymores, lay down withering interlocking fields of fire, pull pins and pop some spoons, call in artillery and air support. Then go back to your card game and coffee.

[Apples Mk.II]

When a lot of things combined together creating the worst possible mess... Work issues, health issues, unchecked mental things... All in the worst possible moment.

- Spend several days crying like a whiny b*tch on the internet and letting things build up until I break down in real life. Suicidal thoughts and everything. Argh.


What I did later and should have done earlier:

- Talk with friends and share your doubts and problems so that they deflate a bit and don't look that big. People care about you and have no problem listening to you in your worst moments.

- Pay attention to what they tell you instead of listening only to yourself.

- Recover the calm and divide the issues, try to find what is a minor one, what really needs to be adressed and what is a fake one that has been inflated by another.

- Set a priority and take on the worst offender first, one at a time.

- Set protocols to avoid repeating.



Maybe if I had been able to keep things under control on time I would have been able to avoid raising suspicions about something that I wanted to keep a secret for now (gender issues). One of my biggest issues is that when I reach a weak mental state is far to easy to obtain info from me. After needing a weekend to start calming down and reduce the frequency of the panic attacks, I started to sort things. First, keep my job. Second, evaluate my health problem (current status: I don't need a osteotomy and it could be fixed with physiotherapy and rehabilitation, reducing the pain a lot). Third... Keep working on mental issues.

So far so good, although the aftermath of the previous week still feels as If I had received a nice beating. Two days ago during the job application interview, my head was so clear of everything that people were trying to decide whether I was on drugs or we had some sort of doppleganger. And to think that the previous week I wanted to give up and get into fetal position in a corner.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

During a crisis, I take the advice of the Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy. 

[Christine]

But it has lead me to ask the question of how do we deal with crisis? What is a crisis? Do we plan and rationalise or do we find a place to hide? Is plan A to hide and plan B is to hide deeper?

One of the reasons I ask is that many of the 'I need help' type of posts are in the category, s**t has happened what do I do?

We all of course try to help in every particular case but I was wondering if we had a general discussion of what we do, or how we start to deal with stuff happening, that we may be able to help each other with life strategies.

Any thoughts and examples are very welcome.

Cindy

A crisis is generally the result of an unexpected outcome or a sudden event. In either case it never pays to hide. It always pays to step back, calm down and and deal with the problem and create an action plan. But, you know what,  that logical approach never seems to work with people in "gender Crisis" for the lack of a better term. With regard to "posters on this board I think it's important to gently prod them to a therapist and point out that you may need medication. Not that they need it but pointing out that many of us do. I think we need to reassure them that the feelings they experience are perfectly "normal" and probably experienced by many of us at one time or another. I also like to steer them away from labels and definitions because I drove myself nuts trying to stuff myself in categories where I did not fit all the attributes. I don't want other people being hurt in this way. Once I quit doing this I started feeling better about myself and saw a way out. As I have said in several posts I think labels can lead people down incorrect paths. Lastly I think it is important to point out you should never lie to your therapist! It can only hurt them. In the end they have to accept themselves as a good and worthy person.

[Beth Andrea]

...A crisis on the Internet is a WHOLE 'nother ball game...Without "boots on the ground" intel is just about worthless.

Imho, nearly everyone on the Net could use a Valium or two.

[Brooke777]

...A crisis on the Internet is a WHOLE 'nother ball game...Without "boots on the ground" intel is just about worthless.

Imho, nearly everyone on the Net could use a Valium or two.

I think 4-5 Valium would be more fun 

[SarahM777]

I think I have gotten to the point unless it's an emergency (life threatening) I don't see it as crisis anymore. I see them as pain in the rear end challenges that could test the mettle of even the most patient person.

Prioritize. Take the things that are the most critical and take care of them first. After those are done the rest will come much easier.

Getting a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on helps a whole lot.

[Edge]

Find out what to do and do it.
And remember that "You can keep trying, dearie, but you're never going to beat me."
Simple as that.

[twit]

first, I find someone to blame. Then after that, it just depends.

[Snowpaw]

I do what I did yesterday and today. I cry. I cry until there is nothing left. It helps, then I put my happy face back on and try to solve my problem Though mine is unhealthy, I don't recommend anyone do what I do. *happy mask always on*

[Michael Joseph]

about and hour ago i just witnessed the second motorcycle crash within the past two months. considering im still not over the last one, i was pretty shaken up. i had to call 911 again and i was shaking the whole time. i guess depending on the situation, im not the greatest at handling a crisis.

[noeleena]

Hi,

Training & train some more  as a fireman,  allso was with the St Johns  more training  training as a medic.with in our Antartic devision,  & learned to  access what the problem is take action as needed. keeping in mind to have a level headed approch & not let ones emotions of what was or is happening take over so you cant do whats requred,

Allso iv been in some places were i had to take charge & over see every thing to right the matter concerned. or help were nesserseary, Expreance is what is needed ,

...noeleena...

[Felix]

I'm way better at dealing with crises than with normal life. I get all laser focused like it's a video game or something. I stop thinking and operate on reflexes and instincts.

[justmeinoz]

After thirty years in the Police Force, step back and assess what is actually going on. 
Sometimes it is better to withdraw to a safe distance and wait for the dust to settle, in other words crawl back under the covers and cry it out. 
After that look at the situation dispassionately and ask  "what is necessary here?"  After that work out whether I need to do anything and if so, what; or simply forget about it and move on. 
It all depends on the situation.

karen.

[Joann]

In addition to all the other great strategies from the others.
I take it day by day. sometimes hour by hour.
Find a little reward for every success.
I never end the day with negative thoughts. I count the days successes and look forward to future good things happening.
Positive affirmations help too esp if they offer a little humor.

Like "Dont worry about nothing  because nothing  will be alright"