Your name

[lolli]

I went to see some female friends and asked them what sort of female name would suit me in thier opinion.
I mentioned that I liked Diana.
Mainly because my own name starts with the letter D and it would make my signature easy.
However the girls decided that my nickname suited me better.
Holly.
I have a friend that changed her name three times before deciding on Jayne.

The thing is when you have to give banks personal information like mothers maiden name can you just not say her name or will they give you another choice.

[Seshatneferw]

Remember, though, that it's going to be your name. Discussing it with your friends is fine, but ultimately you should choose something with which you will be comfortable. A bit like the other modifications you make. 

One thing to consider is what kind of names are used by other women of roughly your age. The popularity of names changes over time, sometimes surprisingly fast, and so currently popular names might not be appropriate. You'd probably want your name to sound like you, not like your mother or daughter.

I'm baffled about the question about banks, though, but that's because I'm culturally challenged. Over here the banks don't ask for things like mothers' maiden names. Why would they?

  Nfr

[Attis]

Do you find the name Diana being that of a goddess also being appealing? I mean it's a classical name, so I love it automatically, but is there another appeal you find in the name?

-- Brede

[Lucy]

I think that Holly is a sweet name but surley you have to find a name that you are comfortable with,

[Casey]

The thing is when you have to give banks personal information like mothers maiden name can you just not say her name or will they give you another choice.

You lost me. Why wouldn't you want to give your mother's maiden name? I understand the MYOB aspect of it, but you've already left a paper trail. Somebody official out there knows the truth.

As far as your name, why can't you be Diana and still have Holly as a nickname? You didn't get a say in your birth name. Since you're taking a new name, choose one that feels right to you. You're the one that has to live with it.

[Chaunte]

THink of choosing a name as shopping for the perfect ensemble.  You try everything on and see how it feels for a while.  You may decide that, while it works, a name doesn't quite fit you the way you want to.  If that's so, then try another! 

That's what I have done.  WHile "Chaunte" is my screen name, it won't be my legal name.  It didn't fit quite right.

Another thought, given to me many moons ago, is to loudly say the name at least a hundred times.  If you get tired of it before then, then it probably won't fit.

Chaunte

[Kate]

Another thought, given to me many moons ago, is to loudly say the name at least a hundred times.  If you get tired of it before then, then it probably won't fit.

I kinda thought of it the other way... I wanted a name that seemed boring to me, lol. Seriously - once I picked a name that I *didn't* notice or think twice about it, I figured that meant it was right for me.

Come to think of it, I apply that to TSism to... in the sense that I definately NOTICE being a boy (being treated as one, trying to fit in as one, etc.), but being a girl is just... boring almost, lol. It's just being ME really, not "being a girl" per se.

What kinda made up my mind though was when I worked with a Katie for a few months before I came out at work, and every darn time someone would yell "Hey, Katie!" to her, I'd find myself reflexively responding, lol. Ooops

~Kate~

[Seshatneferw]

Kate, that's a pretty good clue. Lol.

Anyway, you've got a point. Transition is fixing the external reality to match your mental image as closely as possible, and your name is a part of that reality. The new one should feel like naturally yours, not noticeable in any way. Of course, it will eventually, but it's easier to get one that feels right to start with.

(By the by, there's some neurolinguistic evidence that nouns come in three categories: common nouns, like rose or car, proper names, like Rose or London, and finally one's own name.)

  Nfr

[Ms Bev]

I think Holly is a pretty name, but in the final analysis, you have to chose a name that speaks to you personally, deep in your spirit.

I didn't chose Beverly.....my mother chose it for my middle name.  I hated that name most of my younger life, trying hard to get mixed in with all the boys.  With a name like Beverly, that wasn't easy.  Sort of like Johnny Cash's "A Boy Named Sue".  lol....it did toughen me up. 

Mom's gone now, and I have taken the name as my first name.  I have come to love that which I once hated.  I think I knew since the age of about four that I would eventually end up being Beverly, like it or not.  Like it?  I love it!

Thanks, Mom.....I love you.

Beverly

[lolli]

Sorry for being late in replying this Vista is screwing with my head trying to install my software and being refused as its not compatible 

The reason I bought up bank accounts is that here in the UK when being asked for security questions for your accounts they ask you your mothers maiden name.
With Mum and me its a clash of stubboness and personalites.
Also when I can start as Holly aka !!! I want to start afresh, a break from the family.
though over here the birth certificate can be changed to female and a new National insurance working number can be issued.
My own number pertains to a male.

I like your name Kate, straight and to the point where as say Samantha is a double barreled name, its too long.
Kate as a name tells it as it is.
Kate if that tag pic of you is you then I would say your a Kate.

And your right a name should fit with your age group.
I asked Ben at work to call me Holly but he said that regardless of what I do, to him I will always be called Dominic.
I know I could change that to Dominque, but thats too long and is comprised of two words when you break them apart.

[Seshatneferw]

Don't fret too much about people not switching to your new name: eventually they will, at least the ones worth talking to. The longer they have known you the longer it wil take, and the more contact they have with you after transition the faster it will hapen. But as with every change, it will take some time getting used to, and even you will have to learn your name all over again.

Because changing  names takes time, you shouldn't rush it. Take your time to find one you can live with. If you are happy with Holly by all means keep it, but if you have doubts your friends will understand if you don't accept their suggestion.

Trust me, I'm a doctor.
(Ph.D. in some aspects of how names work. Never expected to give therapeutic advice on it, though. )

  Nfr

[Trinity]

Your name is YOUR thing.

I like Holly, but you have to live with what you choose.

I suggest you do it like I did....  Wait until it hits you.  When I chose mine, it hit me like a brick out of nowhere one day.  I chose Trinity because mind+body+soul.

[Kate]

Kate as a name tells it as it is.

Funny, that's exactly why I liked it too! And it reflects a lesson that keeps coming back to haunt me (don't be ambiguous, don't waver, don't hesitate - be concise and direct)

Kate if that tag pic of you is you then I would say your a Kate.

Only in my dreams is that me, lol. But that's gotta count for something?

I asked Ben at work to call me Holly...

For what it's worth, I *really* like Holly. It does fit your personality, your "feel" to me. I have a friend named Holly, and hearing her name always sounds so cheerful, so hopeful to my ears.

but he said that regardless of what I do, to him I will always be called Dominic.
I know I could change that to Dominque, but thats too long and is comprised of two words when you break them apart.

He may come around in time. Either way though, don't do anything just to make it easier for other people. Pick a name YOU like.

~Kate~

[ShyGothGirl]

Not that it'll help a whole lot... but I got super lucky, I have always loved the name Danielle, i think it's so pretty...

Well, my parents did me the honor of naming me Daniel.... ROFL, just add 2 letters and YAY! done

my siblings and close friends still call me Danni, but that doesn't really bother me, it's kinda cute...


Definitely go for a name YOU want, and if you still like Holly, use it as a nickname for a bit, if it gets old, stop using it, no biggie

*hugglez*

[Lisbeth]

THink of choosing a name as shopping for the perfect ensemble.  You try everything on and see how it feels for a while.  You may decide that, while it works, a name doesn't quite fit you the way you want to.  If that's so, then try another! 

I really cannot relate to that idea.  I've known lots of girls who seem to have names dujour, but I've never wanted any other name.

[cindianna_jones]

No, my real name is not Cindi Jones.  That's my pen name.

I needed a name when I got a credit card to go out en femme.  I couldn't think of anything right off hand, so I picked a name from a song I liked (a French name made famous by the Beatles song).  For my last name, I chose a single syllable name that is very common... it also happened to be the last name of a model I was shooting for her portfolio.  No middle name.  I wanted it short and sweet.

I figured that the new name would be common and easy to spell for anyone. I didn't want to have to repeat my name nor spell it to anyone because of "the voice". Nope. It hasn't worked out that way. I can't believe how hard it is for some people to spell such a common name!

In any case, it has worked out for me.  Occasionally I have wondered why I didn't give it more thought, but ultimately, it has been fine.  My name, although seemingly very feminine, seems to fit me fine and I am very comfortable with it.

Cindi

[Autumn]

Well, my mom would have named me Ursula if I'd been born a girl. The single source of positivity about being TG is that I won't be named Ursula if/when i transition. 

I picked Autumn here because last fall was the turning point in my life that picked me up from pretty much rock bottom (though thankfully my crash wasn't as hard as so many others.) Coincidentally the fall is where the old growth dies off and plants rest so that they can bloom beautifully again later. That only dawned on me yesterday.

In any case, it's actually growing on me as a name to actually use in the event I get a namechange. Prior to that I had a fondness for Daphne, but it looks so odd written and is from an older generation than mine anyway. Though it's rather elegant when spoken.

If Diana is the name that clicks for you inside, then go with it. But you said it's mostly because it's the same first letter... which is less of a good reason than your friends present for holly, i think :p

[Pica Pica]

When I am playing around as my female self I usually call myself Rose...however my real surname starts in an 's' making Rose S*** sound like my name would be Roe - and I don't want anyone confusing me with fish eggs. So I give myself my great-grandmother's maiden name as my surname.

Although I plan not to transition, I do need a new name, my own being a bit pedestrian to go on the front of a novel. I have chosen Lilly, after one of my recently deceased grannies, this would make me the third Lilly in our family named after our granny but hey.

I always go for floral names, my grannys beeing Lilly and Violet, my Godmother being Rose - so I like Holly.

Maybe you should tell some friends to call you Holly and the others call you Diana, see which one works best.

[Lisbeth]

When I am playing around as my female self I usually call myself Rose...however my real surname starts in an 's' making Rose S*** sound like my name would be Roe - and I don't want anyone confusing me with fish eggs.

Have you thought about "Rosalee?"

[Pica Pica]

Have you thought about "Rosalee?"
[/quote]

I haven't,

Sounds a bit Gypsy Rose Lee, but one strand of my maternal line is romany...so that may be quite a good callback