I went out yesterday and got a nice wig that looks and feels real. I also bought a starter make-up kit with supplies that match my skin tone. The make-up assistant was so wonderful to me, even though I still present as male until I can get into some clothes. I was really a bundle of nerves, and she really made me feel so welcome! I got a little bit of a confidence boost from her! My make-up kit so far is concealer, foundation, blush, a make up brush for mixing foundation and concealer, a foaming make-up remover, lipstick, and eye make - up.
The make-up assistant gifted a small bottle of clarifier to me, she was sooo sweet! She let on that she knew it was all for me and she knew I am a trans woman (male appearance, duh!) and she said "we live in a free world!, you're just being yourself" I mean, wow!!
The clothes I found were all for real skinny women, and although I have lost weight, I am not terribly skinny...about average if you ask me. I'm well under 170 lbs. Back to the clothes...I found some jeans and tops (sweaters and hoodies) I liked, but nothing to go under said tops. The shirts / tops I found other than sweaters and hoodies were not heavy wear for cold weather, yikes! I need to stay warm!
There were some jackets I liked, but since I had no other clothes in mind because it was impossible to mix n match with what they had, I couldn't even think of a jacket/coat.
Now, I DID get some stares and suspicious reactions from customers and some store staff, but I kept cool and didn't react to it. I figured that ignorance is something we all have to deal with, and just praised myself in my mind and kept my mind on track. I kept telling myself that my clothing doesn't have to be all glitzy and CIS looking yet, since I am still in the very baby steps of looking the part of my gender identity, and am literally just learning how to express my gender.
The heavy nervousness is something that I know will go away once I am into my clothes and look somewhat to acceptably passable as a female. I just need to know some things: were any of you this nervous while out shopping while presenting male so you could transition? Is this an expected reaction for a person who is starting transition?
How did you go about finding your right size in jeans and tops without attracting too much attention? I think the attention I garnered came from my nervous appearance, and I was hoping maybe those who got suspicious or whatever would just think "this is someone shopping for a female family member". I also tried to remind myself that I had every right to be in the women's section shopping to be able to express my gender identity. Did you go through this as well? How did you cope with it?
What about changing rooms? Did you go into the store changing room or go home with your new clothes and try them on there? What would be easier for me in terms of finding my right sizes in clothes without making a million exchanges or returns? Any advice here?
