Asking questions

[togetherwecan]

I wonder how many SO's don't ask questions, don't get involved, don't understand?
I imagine there are many, and of those many there are prolly many that would understand if they got involved and asked questions.
Ya know? Becoming a participant.

As SO's what advice would you give to other SO's who are afraid, hurt, angry and confused? What would you say that would/could help them, at least thru the initial days/weeks/months of awakening? What do we have to offer them? What do we have to offer the TG person who is getting ready to tell their SO?

[Peggiann]

I think it's important for the S.O finding out and on the verge of the awakening, to say nothing at the onset untill they have taken time to read and research what it is that has been said to them and is changing their lives forever. Words hurt and can never be taken back once they have been said. To repair their damage takes forgiveness on their partners part and on their own part to themselves so guilt doesn't eat on them.   

Cry and let out the tears.

Once they have educated themselves, communicate ... communicate... communicate. Above all if their relationship is such as husband and wife remember the vows you took and concider them carefully in what they meant and mean to you before any decissions are made.

Don't ever lie to yourself or put off the uneasy feelings in the pit of your stomach. Listen to your body. If the uneasiness doesn't leave and the ache is still there, face it and act on how to in your best health interest you should proceed. Shoving your feelings aside can cause many health issues for the S.O.

If the S.O. has chosen the roll of supportive giver then be strong enough to give the support in public as well as private once you are at that stage in discovering what it means to live with a special person in your life that suffers with TG related issues. If your not able to be supportive in public then don't go in public together and be honest with the individual as to why you can't yet. Hold nothing you are thinking in once you have educated yourself. Your feelings and needs are just as important as the Person with the TG issues.

Remember this is give and take. You fill each others needs equally.

If the S.O. in your life has not been shared this site with. Then do it before or when you tell them of your T.G. Issues. It is a wealth of knowledge within. Be sure Therapists Numbers are on hand to have for guildence through the maze and journey that lies ahead.

Walk in the others shoes and never judge when trying to understand the others position. Give each other the right to diagree.

I'm sure there are other things, but this should get them started.

Smiles,
Peggiann