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Is it possible to have a baby?

Started by yasuko14, October 10, 2012, 04:54:16 AM

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yasuko14

Not sure if this is the right section.

I'm wondering If its possible for my boyfriend and I to have a genetic baby of our own. I only get mixed answers and I'm wondering If anyone here knows something. I really don't like the idea of my other half essentially making a baby with some other girl and then I have to take care of it as my own, whether it be surrogate or what not.

I'm 20 years old and Iv'e been on hormones since I was about 12 or so, I'm pretty sure I cant even store reproductive material even If I wanted to. Everyone is getting together and making life plans and even some having children. Am I really already messed up from the start only to raise a child that isn't mine?

I never really lived as a male so I just feel like a failure of a woman.. I can't even imagine going into a clinic and saying HEY IM A MAN CAN WE DUDES HAVE A BABY, and then be presented with genetic information saying were both MEN etc. It's just so degrading either way at this point. I know there will come a time when he wants children, and he has asked for my approval to do surrogate.. Maybe I'm just sad or crazy, but I want a son or daughter that's living proof of our love that we shared, that we came together and had something beautiful.. I don't care about being pregnant, just that the baby will be ours. Seems a little depressing to see your child and see features and habits that belong to neither you or your spouse.. Just some chick you picked out in a magazine.

asdfgjhgfdeasdfghjhfgdfsd.. okay I'm done ranting.
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Isabelle

Its totally possible but, fundies are always trying to block the relevant research so don't hold your breath :( Do you have any female close relatives? Sister? Mum? Cousins? Perhaps they could donate an egg, that way it will share at least a portion of your DNA
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yasuko14

Sadly I don't have any relatives period hahaha
I'm the only child of my generation as my mom had me quite early. She eventually took her life after alot of issues with the law and drugs. All my relatives are around my mothers age about (late 30's)  and all male none of which have children..

It's all so depressing.. X.X
Though I'm not surprised, life hasn't been easy at all so its not a shocker that horrible things will happen constantly.. Everything has a catch in this life I swear..

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Sandy

The short answer is no.

This is the terrible price we must pay to have our lives.  We cannot give life to others.

As MTFs we do not have ovaries for eggs, nor do we have uteruses to grow them in.  They will not magically grow inside us no matter how many hormones we take.  Surgery can give us vaginas, but that is all.  Hormones may give us breasts which can sometimes lactate given the proper balance of hormones, but you must work closely with your physician to balance what is needed.

But that is the way many women are.  Many women cannot give birth.  But they can have fulfilling lives with adopted children or surrogacy.

And really would you love your child any less because it was not from your flesh?

-Sandy
Out of the darkness, into the light.
Following my bliss.
I am complete...
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yasuko14

Quote from: Sandy on October 10, 2012, 05:31:48 AM

And really would you love your child any less because it was not from your flesh?


I'm sure I could love the child, there would just be a deep sadness within my heart. Almost as though I'm sorry (not sure what for) just a sadness similar to being apologetic. Maybe failure? Apologizing that I'm not his mother? The idea that I'm letting down my child, my husband and my in-laws.. Like I'm a mistress, replacement, stepmother, a 2nd wife raising a child whose mother died.

It just feels like another thing I'm going to be missing in my life. I won't hear people saying he looks just like us or he got that from his mother or anything from my side for that matter. I will tell my child I'm not his biological mother because I think he will have the right to know. It's just another feeling of isolation like I have no right or entitlement. I already feel like a fake woman, I don't want to be a fake mother as well.

Time will tell but as of now, this future and all the feelings that go with it are at best inevitable.
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Isabelle

I don't think you should let it get to you. There's nothing that can really be done, so the best thing to do is just try to accept it and explore your options :)
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yasuko14

Quote from: Isabelle on October 10, 2012, 05:47:40 AM
I don't think you should let it get to you. There's nothing that can really be done, so the best thing to do is just try to accept it and explore your options :)

Yeah I know, thank you :)

I suppose ill just keep my head up and see if science can come up with something haha
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spacial

Quote from: yasuko14 on October 10, 2012, 05:45:13 AM
I'm sure I could love the child, there would just be a deep sadness within my heart.

If I may, the child will love you more than heaven itself. That's all that matters really.

You'll bond and within a few hours the baby will be part of your very being. Wild animals will not stop you from caring for your baby.

That's motherhood.

There are a lot of stories going around about this or that prospect. The realities are these are just stories. You're a young, beautiful young woman who feels the natural need to be a mother, but who is barren. Adoption is not only natural, once you do it, you will wonder why you waited so long.
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Brooke777

Since you do not produce eggs, or sperm I do not know of a way for humans to reproduce otherwise. I know some places have made excellent headway in making viable eggs and sperm from stem cells. They are not approved for human trials at this time.

However, you might be able to carry a child. Look into the University of Whashington. They have a program there where a couple of men have carried children to term. I do not know if it is open to the general public yet, but it is something I will be looking into further in the future.

Never give up. If you truly want to do something, you can figure out a way to get it done. And, keep your mind open.
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Isabelle

QuoteLook into the University of Whashington. They have a program there where a couple of men have carried children to term

Do you have any links about this? It sounds fascinating.
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Brooke777

Quote from: Isabelle on October 10, 2012, 11:27:39 AM
Do you have any links about this? It sounds fascinating.

The man I met who carried through term was contacted by this department:
http://www.uwmedicine.org/patient-care/our-services/medical-services/reproductive-care/pages/default.aspx

He said it was part of a research study, and they are working toward being able to bring this to the general public. He does not know the timeline. Sorry this is not of too much help. I think to get the specifics, you will have to be part of the program in one way or another.
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Isabelle

Wowzers. I can't find any reference to this on their site, or anywhere else though :(  was he a cis male? Did he say how it was done? Ectopic? How did this get passed by an ethics panel without it becoming global news?
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Brooke777

Quote from: Isabelle on October 10, 2012, 11:42:37 AM
Wowzers. I can't find any reference to this on their site, or anywhere else though :(  was he a cis male? Did he say how it was done? Ectopic? How did this get passed by an ethics panel without it becoming global news?

Yes, he is a cis-male. They were able to implant the emryo (or zygote he wasn't too sure about the difference) between some of the muscles in the abdomen. He obviously had to have a C-section. I don't know how it was able to get complete without making global news. The child is now over a year old, and perfectly healthy. I did not know him during the pregnancy. I met him afterwards when a mutual friend introduced us. Since I want to carry a baby, they thought it would be good for me to see the results. I was very impressed. I am hoping that in a few years it becomes a bit easier to get into the program, and it has been approved by all the medical boards.

I am sorry I do not have any additional, factual information to provide. But, if you are really interested it would not hurt to start reacing out to the university.
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Pippa

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Brooke777

Quote from: Pippa on October 10, 2012, 11:51:48 AM
totally impossble

Sorry you feel that way. From my experience(s), nothing is impossible.
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Isabelle

It's not technically impossible however the danger to the fetus would be incredible. That's why I'm wondering how this passed an ethics panel. I wasn't aware this had been done in animals successfully, let alone humans.
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twit

just sounds odd. They would have to have an umbilical cord and all that, just seems like something made up without some serious documentation to back it up.
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Brooke777

Quote from: Isabelle on October 10, 2012, 11:56:01 AM
It's not technically impossible however the danger to the fetus would be incredible. That's why I'm wondering how this passed an ethics panel. I wasn't aware this had been done in animals successfully, let alone humans.

I am always surprised regarding the things that have been done to animals. It actually scares me a bit.

Quote from: Jaime on October 10, 2012, 11:57:45 AM
just sounds odd. They would have to have an umbilical cord and all that, just seems like something made up without some serious documentation to back it up.

I can completely agree that this sounds phony. Especially since I do not have any documentation to back it up. Once again, sorry for the lack of factual evidence.
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Isabelle

Do you know roughly when this happened?
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Brooke777

Quote from: Isabelle on October 10, 2012, 12:25:42 PM
Do you know roughly when this happened?

The child was born about a year and a half ago (roughly). Since he carried to full term, it is safe to assume the pregnancy took place around 8 months prior.
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