I'm transgender (mtf, but more androgynous) and bisexual. I'm also not transitioning and I have no desire to transition. So that means I'm pretty much a bottom O.o. ...and I have my first ever crush on a guy at 19 years old lol.
He's bigger than me and I'm really small in comparison with him. He's gay, so I don't know how an androgynous person dating him is going to fly. I like to wear girl clothes sometimes, and mix clothes of different genders. I like to be hairless neck down. Some days I like to be really masculine. Other days I'm really feminine. Usually I'm in between, leaning towards being femme i guess.
We used to go to high school together and I was an absolute ass to him, but then we got closer after we graduated. We go to different schools and meet up when we can, which is rare. We text and talk to each other on Facebook regularly now and we flirt around a lot.
I've never felt this way before. I know this sounds so corny and creepy but I like to imagine myself in his arms when I'm in bed. It helps me fall asleep :/
I don't know why I like him so much. It's to the point where I'm not flirting with anyone else, guy or girl, not even when I'm at my own fraternity parties.
Like, I'm ready to completely give myself up to him but I don't know how to act. I know how to get with girls, but I don't know how to get with guys. I don't want to initiate anything.
So, that is pretty much my dilemma.
