Goodbye Katie, hello Ben
When Simon Andrews' teenage daughter revealed her intention to change gender, he soon realised this wasn't just a personal decision - it affected the whole family
Simon Andrews
The Guardian, Friday 12 October 2012
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/oct/13/transgender-teenager-katie-to-ben?fb=optOutShould we have known? With hindsight there were plenty of clues. Katie had always been something of a tomboy – never a "girly" girl and most definitely not a Barbie girl – and we had begun to suspect that there was a possibility that, as adolescence progressed, she might turn out to be attracted to women rather than men. After all, my side of the family had previous form in this respect, so it crossed our minds and we did joke about it.
About two or three weeks before the bombshell dropped, an overheated dinner-table discussion (nothing unusual about that) erupted between Katie and Cass, my wife, about transgendered people and sexuality. It started with Katie talking about the film Boys Don't Cry, which she had seen recently. Katie seemed unusually animated by the issues and engaged in a discussion about the difference between gender identity and sexual orientation.
She exclaimed that she was astounded that her mother didn't know the difference; she did, but 15-year-olds in the heat of an argument are difficult to convince at the best of times. As the argument came to a head, Cass glared across the table and demanded of Katie whether there was something she needed to tell us. There was a slight pause, then a defiant "no" and we finished the meal in glum silence.
