What was your first transsexual experience?

[Keira]

I don't know if I myself would call it a TS experience...but

When I was about 16 I got pretty drunk and my girl side came out...you know how alcohol brings out hidden things about people. At first I wasn't sure what it was, but I started to notice that it kept occurring in small ways every day.

At that point I thought I was bigender...although I'm still not sure...

Because when I came out to my parents I started feeling more female than male, and I haven't switched back to feeling male.

Now I'm starting to think that my male side was a method of coping with people bugging me in school. I have quite a few feminine traits...although people wouldn't call them that; if I pointed it out they would instantly recognize it.

I don't know what's up with the, "I knew when I was three years old crowd". It kind of makes a lot of TG/TS people feel as though they are fake. I don't mean to criticize people who have experiences at a young age; but I just hate it when it makes other tg/TS people fall into more self doubt...

[spacial]

Kiera

As one of the 'I knew when I was 4 years old crowd' it souldn't make you feel fake.

This isn't a race. It's a bunch of people with varying degrees and types of gender identity problems, supporting each other is finding ways to deal with them.

I am really pleased you made these points.

[FTMDiaries]

Keira

I agree with Jill - my experience doesn't invalidate yours; nor does yours invalidate mine. We all get there when we get there, how we get there, and if we get there. We all struggle in our own way, and each battle is legit.

[suzifrommd]

I don't know what's up with the, "I knew when I was three years old crowd". It kind of makes a lot of TG/TS people feel as though they are fake. I don't mean to criticize people who have experiences at a young age; but I just hate it when it makes other tg/TS people fall into more self doubt...

I feel the same way (as someone who didn't have an inkling I was Trans until about 6 months ago, but is having very similar feelings to just about everyone here.)

I've had to decide the past is unimportant - it's my current feelings that matter, but I still get the part about feeling fake. In a world where Transgender people have their authenticity questioned frequently we're very sensitive to that. For me, most recently, it was by a psychologist evaluating me, who spoke the words "I'm going to diagnose you with GID" almost painfully, like it hurt him, like he was being dragged to it, like he though I was lying to him, trying to fool him, but he couldn't prove it.

[Joann]

One of my unique problems was that I was raised women.My dad died when I was six and there were no other male figures in my family there for me to pattern off of.
By the age of 10 I estimate I spent over 300 hours at the makeup counter 150 hours in the shoe department and 100 hours and women's close department tagging along with my mother and my sister.
Then to be followed by an hour and a half of chitter chatter at the restaurant.

[Keira]

I feel the same way (as someone who didn't have an inkling I was Trans until about 6 months ago, but is having very similar feelings to just about everyone here.)

I've had to decide the past is unimportant - it's my current feelings that matter, but I still get the part about feeling fake. In a world where Transgender people have their authenticity questioned frequently we're very sensitive to that. For me, most recently, it was by a psychologist evaluating me, who spoke the words "I'm going to diagnose you with GID" almost painfully, like it hurt him, like he was being dragged to it, like he though I was lying to him, trying to fool him, but he couldn't prove it.

The worst part of trying to figure out if you are TS/TG is that "we are our own worst critics." On top of criticizing ourselves we are deconstructed by others. I can't even really say if I am "still figuring out if I am transgender"; it's more the fact that I can't believe I am.

Sorry to go off topic...but I think there is more than just "one first TS experience". It is more like a journey, than flicking a light-switch.

[Kaelin]

I'm not a TS, so that title doesn't apply.

But for first TG?  Well, that sort of depends on threshold.

Probably around the age of 7 or so-ish, I remember my mom going on how long and strong my nails were.  I just couldn't be bothered to cut them all the time.  I didn't really care about any gender overtones.

Also around that age, my sister and I borrowed my mom's house shoes.  They were soft, so they were fun to wear.  I didn't really care what they looked liked so much, or that they had any gender attached.  My mom wanted us to stop, though. XD

Around 10-11, I remember being really drawn to a shiny poodle skirt my mom made for my sister.  One time I was alone in the house, I decided to wear it.  I wasn't really sure what to do from there, but I did some spins and other movement.  It felt great.  I was very conscious of the gender associations, but I don't think I ever felt like it was making me a girl or anything, just that it was forbidden.